Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

I understand that gerunds (many 'ing-ending' words) are mostly discouraged in haiku, as their usage is 'passive', rather than, 'active', and the main idea of haiku is to express vivid 'here and now' imagery, even though yours IS present tense.

I respectfully suggest 2nd line something like: 'as its sharp eyes sweep the ground'

I completely understand if you don't agree, and this is an excellent haiku as it is.

Cheers, Ray.

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016

Thanks a lot for a great review, and your advise. In the end I chose to leave as it is though. All best.

reply by Domino 2 on 12-Jun-2016

Thanks for your very gracious reply, and I understand your decision.

Best wishes, Ray

Comment from MacMhuirich

Excellent

Excellent wording and great imagery. The Golden Eagles are in danger all over Scotland for incidents like this, landowners are protecting their lands. thank you for sharing and best wishes for the contest.
Bless you
John

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016

John, thanks a lot for this great review. Yes, that's what I've read. All best.

Comment from joannakruk

Excellent

Great piece. It begs the question, is someone representing the eagle? With his sharp eye, the eagle is a predator when on the hunt. But the eagle must eat too. His,actions are purely in the name of survival. Unfortunately that isn't always the case for human predators.
Great piece.
Jo

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016

Thanks a lot for this great review. All best.

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

Hard to find haikus with the grammatically connected sentence. You did it perfectly. Alliteration with golden and ground, soars, sweeping and sharp. My heart goes out to that lamb. That eagle's not golden in my book.

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016

Thanks a lot for this great review. All best.

Comment from Galactia

Excellent

Hi
What a delightful haiku that you have here. The eagle has hid eye on his prey, excelkebt haiku.

I think you will do well in the contest.

Good luck

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016

Thank you so much for the great review and thoughts. All best.

Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

This is a well written haiku. You can imagine what is happening. An eagle ready to dive for a baby lamb. Poor lamb. The the flying and diving would be beautiful to see.

Good luck in the contest.

Keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016

Thanks. As you've given me a four, I would appreciate if you would tell me what mistakes I have made so I can correct. Ulla

reply by dragonpoet on 10-Jun-2016

I am sorry, I meant to give you a five. I changed it.

Joan

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016

Hi joan, that is really kind of you. Thanks for doing that. All best. Ulla:)

reply by dragonpoet on 10-Jun-2016

You're welcome.

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

OH! This is a wonderful picture you paint with this small poem. The two concrete images are connected so well, too, the mood established by the kire = ominous! I think this will do very well in the contest. Best of luck!

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016

Dawn, thanks so much for your great review. I'm glad you liked it, and that I have got it right. Still learning to write Haiku. All best.

reply by Dawn Munro on 12-Jun-2016

It was my pleasure.

Comment from Kaydoe

Excellent

You have met the criteria of a 5-7-4 haiku poem. It is well written and the picture
goes nicely with this poem. You bring the viewer close to the eagle and can picture him soaring and seeing his prey down below. So well written.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016

Thank you so much for this great review. All best

Comment from Ogden

Excellent

Terrific imagery! You certainly have fulfilled the requirements and guidelines of the 7-5-4 haiku prompt. The scene is set for the almost inevitable moments to follow.

Good job! And good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016

Thank you so much for this great review, and your good wishes. All best

Comment from Bill O'Bier

Excellent

Great entry..... Excellent use of brief words to create interesting images. Good luck in the contest.

Wishing you the best,
Bill

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016

Thanks a lot, Bill, for this great review. So glad you liked it. All the best.