Wilderness Way
Wandering through the woods47 total reviews
Comment from DonandVicki
A short suspenseful story that leaves you wondering who's severed leg and what made that growl. I get the feeling that the growl came from a bear.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2016
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A short suspenseful story that leaves you wondering who's severed leg and what made that growl. I get the feeling that the growl came from a bear.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2016
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Thank you so much, Don and Vicki, for taking time to read my story. Even as the writer I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing the leg belongs to the owner of the cabin. LOL! As for the growl, he is about to learn about things in the woods that he never knew existed. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Heidi M
You're leaving a lot to imagination! I felt like I was just about to get to the juicy part, and it got pulled away. Your 100 words leaves me wanting another 100 words.
You set the scene well.
For your consideration: The first sentence might flow a bit more smoothly like this: After I wandered through heavy wilderness for days, finding the rickety cabin was a surprise.
When written like this: "Having wandered heavy wilderness for days, the rickety cabin was a surprise..." means the rickety cabin wandered in the wilderness.
Thanks for sharing your 100 words!
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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You're leaving a lot to imagination! I felt like I was just about to get to the juicy part, and it got pulled away. Your 100 words leaves me wanting another 100 words.
You set the scene well.
For your consideration: The first sentence might flow a bit more smoothly like this: After I wandered through heavy wilderness for days, finding the rickety cabin was a surprise.
When written like this: "Having wandered heavy wilderness for days, the rickety cabin was a surprise..." means the rickety cabin wandered in the wilderness.
Thanks for sharing your 100 words!
Comment Written 11-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Thanks for the suggestions, and believe me, I would have loved to have written that sentence your way; however, my sentence was eleven words and yours was fifteen. Having to finish with exactly 100 words leaves me wishing I could have done a lot of things differently. LOL! Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Great story with an excellent twist at the end. Where did the leg come from.
"I walked in[to] and " not needed.
Take my edits for what their worth. I'm the worst.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Great story with an excellent twist at the end. Where did the leg come from.
"I walked in[to] and " not needed.
Take my edits for what their worth. I'm the worst.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Thanks for taking time to read my story. Your kind words, suggestion, and generous review are greatly appreciated. Yes, you are right, in will work as well as into. :-)
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. Now,do you think that was nice of you to leave us readers hanging like that? LOL It was a great job with only 100 words to play with. I didn't spot any errors.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Excellent. Now,do you think that was nice of you to leave us readers hanging like that? LOL It was a great job with only 100 words to play with. I didn't spot any errors.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from lancellot
Well that form and structure is fine. The issue I think you should consider is there doesn't seem to be a plot, a point, a subject or resolution/ conclusion.
What is this about? Where is the horror or thrill, beside the severed leg at the end?
This is not an insult. There just seems to be a lot missing. A know you only have a 100 word, but I suggest trying more.
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reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Well that form and structure is fine. The issue I think you should consider is there doesn't seem to be a plot, a point, a subject or resolution/ conclusion.
What is this about? Where is the horror or thrill, beside the severed leg at the end?
This is not an insult. There just seems to be a lot missing. A know you only have a 100 word, but I suggest trying more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Sorry you didn't like it, and thanks for your suggestions. Personally, I think the plot is self explanatory, a person traveling Wilderness Way. The resolution is coming, as the person has stumbling into a house where the owner is murdered as evidenced by the leg that hits the door. It's not hard to see what this story is about or what's happening. The horror is the fact that this person is next in line. Not all stories intend to spell everything out, they are written for those who willing follow it along. Please, don't think that I don't appreciate your review, because I do. There is a lot missing, intentionally. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is not a story. It might be the beginning of a longer story, but in itself it is not a story. You cannot just end with a bloody leg at the door.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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This is not a story. It might be the beginning of a longer story, but in itself it is not a story. You cannot just end with a bloody leg at the door.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Sure I can, I just did, and I think it tells the reader exactly who the leg belongs to, and what is coming for the traveler. Thanks for reading and your suggestions. :-)
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Then I think the traveler should get the heck out of there... as fast and as far as he can run. And I'd never go into the woods without a gun. :)
Comment from royowen
Ah, but whose was the severed leg? That would be an extreme surprise indeed. Nicely composed 100 word dash work, the story is succinct and has the necessary surprise ending to culminate the entry, well done, good scribing, good luck, blessings, Roy
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reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Ah, but whose was the severed leg? That would be an extreme surprise indeed. Nicely composed 100 word dash work, the story is succinct and has the necessary surprise ending to culminate the entry, well done, good scribing, good luck, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Thank you so much, Roy Owen, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)