Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Riding to forget,"A book of Poetry & Writing
121 total reviews
Comment from NadiaScrieva
I enjoyed this, but allow me to point out some errors:
"He feed's the steers by daybreak and rides the fence line around,
Only stopping to repair the sections that was down,
Some steers stand and watch him, and some just walk away,
Lifes story is unfolding in this field so far away,"
-"feed's" should be "feeds"
-"sections that was down" should be "sections that were down"
-"Lifes story" should be "Life's story"
With some editing, this would be a very nice piece. I enjoyed the story of the cowboy and his unfaithful wife.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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I enjoyed this, but allow me to point out some errors:
"He feed's the steers by daybreak and rides the fence line around,
Only stopping to repair the sections that was down,
Some steers stand and watch him, and some just walk away,
Lifes story is unfolding in this field so far away,"
-"feed's" should be "feeds"
-"sections that was down" should be "sections that were down"
-"Lifes story" should be "Life's story"
With some editing, this would be a very nice piece. I enjoyed the story of the cowboy and his unfaithful wife.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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thank you
Comment from Amfunny
Great poem here. I especially enjoyed these lines:
This cowboy is a simple man, known for horses, steers and land,
But the working mind of that woman is hard to understand,
Very nicely done. :)
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Great poem here. I especially enjoyed these lines:
This cowboy is a simple man, known for horses, steers and land,
But the working mind of that woman is hard to understand,
Very nicely done. :)
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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thank you for the review Am
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
Interesting to read the rambling, free-floating thoughts of the troubles a cowboy tries to forget, and does so when he begins to ride the range and focuses on the issues at hand. Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Interesting to read the rambling, free-floating thoughts of the troubles a cowboy tries to forget, and does so when he begins to ride the range and focuses on the issues at hand. Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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thank you for the review
Comment from brewskinewman
What a straight-edged, down-to-earth, approach to poetry! You tackle the subject head-on, with no beating around the bush. Thanks for sharing this poem!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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What a straight-edged, down-to-earth, approach to poetry! You tackle the subject head-on, with no beating around the bush. Thanks for sharing this poem!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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thank you for reading
Comment from zoocq
The cowboy way of life is not easy on relationships. Both must be committed to the hard work involved. To me...I am a cowgirl at heart and love what your write about that life!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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The cowboy way of life is not easy on relationships. Both must be committed to the hard work involved. To me...I am a cowgirl at heart and love what your write about that life!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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thank you Zoocq
Comment from Heynonni
This is such good work. I always like your work, having grown up in cattle country myself. There is one correction you may want to make. When the Cowboy rides out in the early morning he 'feeds' the steers by daybreak. You have "feed's" Just a small miskey. Otherwise, very nice work.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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This is such good work. I always like your work, having grown up in cattle country myself. There is one correction you may want to make. When the Cowboy rides out in the early morning he 'feeds' the steers by daybreak. You have "feed's" Just a small miskey. Otherwise, very nice work.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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thank you for the comment
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi deepwater
Life never does run smoothly and sometimes our dreams or ambitions are not those of the person we want to share them with. Good poetic form here, conveys the story very well drawing some good imagery.
Well done.
Patrick
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Hi deepwater
Life never does run smoothly and sometimes our dreams or ambitions are not those of the person we want to share them with. Good poetic form here, conveys the story very well drawing some good imagery.
Well done.
Patrick
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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thanks Patrick for the review
Comment from Ruthi Hurwitz
Deepwater, I loved your poem about the down-to-earth cowboy. Very interesting to read, and to easy to identify with his thought processes. Although I really did love it, I just want to suggest some grammatical corrections:
1) "heart was broken as he rides out in the storm" - should be either past or present, not both.
2) "to repair the sections that was down" - were down
3) "feed's" - feeds.
Thank you for sharing your poem, I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Deepwater, I loved your poem about the down-to-earth cowboy. Very interesting to read, and to easy to identify with his thought processes. Although I really did love it, I just want to suggest some grammatical corrections:
1) "heart was broken as he rides out in the storm" - should be either past or present, not both.
2) "to repair the sections that was down" - were down
3) "feed's" - feeds.
Thank you for sharing your poem, I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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thanks for the comments and review Ruthi
Comment from SamanthaD.
i don't normally read western poetry but this caught my eye. It's really excellent. One correction: "He feed's the steers by daybreak.." feeds shouldn't have the (') before the s. You really set a good tone withh your choice of words- I can see the cowboy's love for his life and the woman's need for something else. Great writing!
Samantha
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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i don't normally read western poetry but this caught my eye. It's really excellent. One correction: "He feed's the steers by daybreak.." feeds shouldn't have the (') before the s. You really set a good tone withh your choice of words- I can see the cowboy's love for his life and the woman's need for something else. Great writing!
Samantha
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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thank you Samantha
Comment from words
A simple and well told story.
I especially liked:As this cowboy rides his ranch land, all his troubles disappear,
Issues lay before him are roping and cutting steers,
Fences in the lowlands and the well thats come up dry,
Time for that in the morning as this day is running by,
It is true we all can find comfort in attending to the task right in front of us.
Liked your ending:
She never would forgive him for bringing her out there.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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A simple and well told story.
I especially liked:As this cowboy rides his ranch land, all his troubles disappear,
Issues lay before him are roping and cutting steers,
Fences in the lowlands and the well thats come up dry,
Time for that in the morning as this day is running by,
It is true we all can find comfort in attending to the task right in front of us.
Liked your ending:
She never would forgive him for bringing her out there.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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thanks words for the review
