Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

Very creepy story. I hope i will be able to sleep now, i could not kept my eyes open before i read this, as it is i saw two times a kind of shadow moving around my room.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2015

---

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015

Thanks, Sandra, but that's the sort of thing that makes reading stories like this in the dark so much fun, isn't it?
I really appreciate your thoughtful review.
~Dean :}

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Hi, Dean,

I think 5th line should read, 'MADE it'

6th line, do you mean 'nursery', or is 'nursey' a colloquial term?

Excellent calm leadup to a very surprising chilling ending.

Is your wife in the car, I wonder. Maybe leave as is for extra mystery, or if that's not the intention, perhaps, '...with her at the wheel'

Excellent.

Best wishes, Ray.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2015

---

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015

Thanks, Ray, and I've made the suggested edits.
I swear, no matter how often I read, reread and edit a piece, I always seem to miss something.
Oh...woe is me...

Cheers, mate!
~DeanO :}

reply by Domino 2 on 06-Oct-2015

Thanks for your gracious reply, Dean.

I know what you mean, as I guess we all fail to spot simple errors if not noticed straight away in our own writing, as we read it over and over again, and in the end it becomes accepted.

I am surprised no-one else spotted the very minor errors...or am I? LOL.

Thank goodness I have a few very thorough reviewers (as I'm sure you have, too) who point things out to me, apart from the vast majority who either miss things in a hurry, OR are too kind to suggest changes.

Cheers, my friend. Ray.

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015

Cheers, Rayman, and thanks again!
~DeanO ;)

Comment from Mark Valentine

Excellent

I've read several of these by michaelk - love the idea. Just the right lengtht for my many, middle-of-the-night bathroom trips. This one is great. You know something is coming (that's part of the fun isn't it?) and you don't want to let yourself be lulled into the false sense of security provided by the serene scene you paint. A great twist at the end - nothing scarier to a parent than having a psycho in your baby's room. I'm a big fan of the horror shows from old time radio - "Suspense", "Inner Sanctum", "CBS Radio Mystery Theater" (that one's not so old - I remember it), etc - these remind me of those.

Two minor SPAG notes - in the third paragraph, I think the word you want is "made" instead of "make", and in the following paragraph ypou left the second 'r' out of nursery.

Will this collection be published sometime? If so, I'll definitely buy one.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2015

---

reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015

Thanks for giving this one a shot, Mark. I sincerely appreciate the positive review. You might consider writing your own Tiny Tale of Terror one of these days, and contributing it to my book. As far as the book being published, I have considered it. I would of course have to get the consent of all of the other fine authors involved who have contributed their own stories. Anyhow, I'm really glad you "enjoyed?" it, heh-heh.
~Dean ;}

Comment from Joyce Long

Excellent

This is way out. Well done. It does catch ones attention. I haven't read singing, but have seen two ghosts in my home. One happened on Thanksgiving day as we sit around the dining room table. My granddaughter was three years old and she had lost her daddy when she was six months old. Sam, her father, appeared in the doorway. My daughter looked at me as if to say "Did you see, Sam." I did, but more importantly my granddaughter said, "That's my daddy." You can't tell me ghosts/spirits don't exist. Three of us saw Sam.
You did get the fright across in your story. Well done.
Joyce 10-6-15

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2015

---

reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015

Thanks for giving this one a shot, Joyce, and for sharing your own creepy experience. You could write a 500 word (or less) Tiny Tale of your own based on this story, then submit it to my book. All premium members are eligible to contribute their own stories, as long as they are written in flash or micro fiction and prose form. Anyhow, I sincerely appreciate the positive review. I'm really glad you "enjoyed?" it, heh-heh.
~Dean ;}

Comment from Jacob Collins

Exceptional

That scream at the end certainly made me jump. I could feel the tension throughout your writing in this piece, Dean. The nursery rhyme worked really well with this piece and your ending sent chills down my spine. An excellent job...Jacob

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2015

---

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015

Thanks for the outstanding feedback and review, Jacob, not to mention the generous six stars. I sincerely appreciate that and I'm really glad you enjoyed reading it.
Take care!
~Dean :}

Comment from royowen

Excellent

This little story quite literally had the hairs in my ears stand on end! Well done Dean, where do you dredge these from, I couldn't write one if my "life" depended on it! This is brilliant my friend, the tension was palpable! Well done, Dean, blessings, Roy.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2015

---

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015

Sure you could, Roy, if you really wanted to. Just write your protagonist as an old, wise, backwoods minister fighting off demons, and ...viola! There ya' go!
They're dredged up from a myriad of places, Roy--myths, legends-- but mainly from memories of hours upon hours of telling and listening to ghost stories around a roaring campfire.
I'm happy to know it did as it was intended to do...send shivers down your spine.
Thanks so much for the awesome review!
~Dean :}

reply by royowen on 06-Oct-2015

I believe you, thousands wouldn't, but well done Dean

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

Good one, Dean.
Where DO you get these 'charming' pictures? Who wouldn't love baby in a basket for a picnic lunch? Better than frieeed chic'en. hee-hee
Eerie tunes from the nursery monitor.(Never did trust those things!)

Baby was one; Dad makes two. Mom better figure out what to do.

:) e

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2015

---

reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015

Hahaha, well, Ellen, to paraphrase the great Stephen King... if I told ya', I'd have to kill ya', heh-heh.. As for poor mom, well...I'm afraid she's as doomed as doomed could be, most likely. Boy...to be a fly on the wall of THAT house, huh?
Thanks so much for the review. I appreciate your opinions as always.
~Dean :)