The Air That I Breathe
All I want is...63 total reviews
Comment from susand3022
Hello Author, That's a cute poem. I have to say, every time I have a plant that's dying it's because it's time to bring it inside, due to colder weather. They come inside, I have to tend them and they die. The end. ;)
  |
Hello Author, That's a cute poem. I have to say, every time I have a plant that's dying it's because it's time to bring it inside, due to colder weather. They come inside, I have to tend them and they die. The end. ;)
Comment Written 20-Jan-2019
Comment from WryWriter
This is fabulous! Great descriptions of the world outside awe the reader into the mind of the poet needing relaxation and acceptance. The fern who only needs air; the weary wanting to breathe fresh air. Love the rhyming...one suggestion below for your consideration:
Looking up there you are--
my beautiful, most cherished fern.
Looking up there for you I yearn
my beautiful, most cherished fern.
Enjoyed!
|
This is fabulous! Great descriptions of the world outside awe the reader into the mind of the poet needing relaxation and acceptance. The fern who only needs air; the weary wanting to breathe fresh air. Love the rhyming...one suggestion below for your consideration:
Looking up there you are--
my beautiful, most cherished fern.
Looking up there for you I yearn
my beautiful, most cherished fern.
Enjoyed!
Comment Written 20-Jan-2019
Comment from Dean Kuch
You've used a good aabbcc, etc., rhyme scheme in creating your contest entry, Anonymous Poet.
Plants are sentient beings--living, breathing, and feeling entities.
This poem speaks to the notion that if you verbally communicate with your plants they will respond and thrive.
Nicely penned.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
~Dean
|
You've used a good aabbcc, etc., rhyme scheme in creating your contest entry, Anonymous Poet.
Plants are sentient beings--living, breathing, and feeling entities.
This poem speaks to the notion that if you verbally communicate with your plants they will respond and thrive.
Nicely penned.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 19-Jan-2019
Comment from Marvin Calloway
You've found an unusual place to have solace. Wherever you find it, accept it as a gift. You've hit upon an unusual place to discover comfort.
Consider yourself blessed.
Marv
|
You've found an unusual place to have solace. Wherever you find it, accept it as a gift. You've hit upon an unusual place to discover comfort.
Consider yourself blessed.
Marv
Comment Written 19-Jan-2019
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your contest entry, Mystery Author. Good job with the prompt. I like your rhyming couplets to tell this story. Good job and best wishes. Jan
May I suggest:
Sauntering over to give you pets
a patch of brown screams out... I'm dead.
(a brown patch shows you're dead. . .what regrets) or not
|
I enjoyed your contest entry, Mystery Author. Good job with the prompt. I like your rhyming couplets to tell this story. Good job and best wishes. Jan
May I suggest:
Sauntering over to give you pets
a patch of brown screams out... I'm dead.
(a brown patch shows you're dead. . .what regrets) or not
Comment Written 19-Jan-2019
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is very well-written. Your couplets tell a moving story of a tired,
weary person whose plant NEEDS to keep living to bring her joy! And
the plant obliges!
|
This is very well-written. Your couplets tell a moving story of a tired,
weary person whose plant NEEDS to keep living to bring her joy! And
the plant obliges!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2019
Comment from Miss Sherry
I wondered how this contest would go...I talk to everything so this is not strange to me. The poem was amusing and I actually laughed. I could just imagine a lady bending over this fern and trying to talk it into flourishing once more. Those last line are precious,
|
I wondered how this contest would go...I talk to everything so this is not strange to me. The poem was amusing and I actually laughed. I could just imagine a lady bending over this fern and trying to talk it into flourishing once more. Those last line are precious,
Comment Written 19-Jan-2019
Comment from meeshu
this is great, I didn't know about this contest. your poem in sometimes rhyming couplets is full of love and angst. I watch my wife go through genuflections with her less than 'Lucky Bamboo'..
|
this is great, I didn't know about this contest. your poem in sometimes rhyming couplets is full of love and angst. I watch my wife go through genuflections with her less than 'Lucky Bamboo'..
Comment Written 19-Jan-2019
Comment from victor 66
I'm not a big house plant person but I do love plants. I grew up in the late fifty's and early sixty's. No drugs, just warm beer. Went to Vietnam in February of 1966 and came home in 1968. Just alcohol no drugs. It wasn't till after I graduated from college and started working that I smoked hashish several times. I remember a big leaf coming down and swished across my face. Haven't done any drugs since except prescription. Point being, between your poem and illustration, I think of these two girls apartment. After the hash and the leaf, and all their plants they had, I called their place the "Swamp", and this was before MASH. Sorry about the rambling but this is what your poem brought to mind. Best wishes.
|
I'm not a big house plant person but I do love plants. I grew up in the late fifty's and early sixty's. No drugs, just warm beer. Went to Vietnam in February of 1966 and came home in 1968. Just alcohol no drugs. It wasn't till after I graduated from college and started working that I smoked hashish several times. I remember a big leaf coming down and swished across my face. Haven't done any drugs since except prescription. Point being, between your poem and illustration, I think of these two girls apartment. After the hash and the leaf, and all their plants they had, I called their place the "Swamp", and this was before MASH. Sorry about the rambling but this is what your poem brought to mind. Best wishes.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2019
Comment from Connie Frazier
I too have favorite plants, but not one nearly as luscious as that fern in the photo. Is that yours? I like that the poem begins with a hard day and ends with a "birthed tender sprout", so hopeful. I really enjoyed this.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2019
|
I too have favorite plants, but not one nearly as luscious as that fern in the photo. Is that yours? I like that the poem begins with a hard day and ends with a "birthed tender sprout", so hopeful. I really enjoyed this.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2019
-
Connie thanks for the review... I didn't even know that the circle of life scenario (sort of) is in the poem... I swear it is kind of my signature and I don't even know I'm doing it... yours, diana
