Reviews from

Where Jenny Lies

Ghost of a little girl

57 total reviews 
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a fine dream sequence. How many children there must be whose ghosts still seek the comfort and security of a home that was denied them here on earth.
Two small typos to fix:
She had a pink ribbon in her hair,
and wearing a blue cotton dress. ['wore' or 'was wearing'. If you wanted to keep the same syllable count you could have 'and was wearing a cotton dress']

I guess I'ill never know.

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2019

Comment from HealingMuse
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Willie,

Oooh, this is a good write, my friend. Such an adorable sweet child's image complements your verse perfectly. Nothing for me to suggest you revise. Thanks for sharing. Jan :-)

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2019

Comment from jlsavell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Willie P.Smith.

This is a chilling and well written storyline in a poem. You should have entered it in a story in a poem contest. Whispers beyond death are a phenomenon which truly must exist.
well done..

jlsavell

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2019

    Thanks for the stars. I write mostly for the reviews and comments of other writers, that's more rewarding to me than the contests. Thanks much!
Comment from nancyjam
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Beautifully told story of little Jenny who appeared in a dream.
Her story is a sad one but she found peace at last.
Great rhyme and meter for smooth flow.
The picture is beautiful and haunting. Perfect for your story.
Nancy

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2019

Comment from Tina Crute
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Aww...this is sweet and sad! I enjoyed Jenny's
story within your story! That's s cool technique.
It surprised me when Jenny disappeared! Nice surprise as I imagine she's home like you said! Touching read:)

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2019

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed your story in a poem, Willie. Good job with the rhyme and smooth flow of lines. I like the storyline, too. It is believable as to the settling of the West and the hardships encountered by the pioneers. The picture is a great pairing with your well-chosen words. Thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2019

Comment from Janilou
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I wish I still had a six star review to give you for this incredible poem. You don't say whether it's fiction or non-fiction, but it felt real, that's for sure.

My favorite part:

Jenny didn't know where she was,
Or why she was alone.
I explained that she had died,
And In a flash she was gone.

Over a hundred years ago, Jenny had lived,
But didn't know time had passed.
I hope our little talk gave her peace
And she's home at last.


I have had similar experiences throughout my life.
Loved this. No errors found.
All the best,
Jan

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2019