The Plan
A married woman settles the score.80 total reviews
Comment from prophetess
"ignoring what he did became easier than arguing about it"
I couldn't have said it better myself! I wish God would send me a message like that. Great story Bob. I love it, and although, I'm not married to a congressman i can definetly relate to how she feels. Thanks for a good read.
Prophetess
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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"ignoring what he did became easier than arguing about it"
I couldn't have said it better myself! I wish God would send me a message like that. Great story Bob. I love it, and although, I'm not married to a congressman i can definetly relate to how she feels. Thanks for a good read.
Prophetess
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thanks so much, Julie. I'm glad there is enough life in this to be able to relate in some way...Bob
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Your welcome Bob.
Comment from Belinda
A promising novel. It reminds me a bit about Princess Diana and her escapades...:) But who knows Craig is the right man for her. If this is love, would you let it dawn to Renee more slowly (no blow job at the first meeting). Just a suggestion, though. When will you start writing it?
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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A promising novel. It reminds me a bit about Princess Diana and her escapades...:) But who knows Craig is the right man for her. If this is love, would you let it dawn to Renee more slowly (no blow job at the first meeting). Just a suggestion, though. When will you start writing it?
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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LOL....It was that kind of contest, Belinda...Just supposed to be a germ of an idea for a book...If I went further and built an affair I believe it would have been to long ..I too, would take my time...More than anything else I threw it in that way for the humor to an otherwise dark-sounding piece. Thanks again, Bob
Comment from Sasha
You definitely capture my interest with this. You marvelous writing and delightful sense of humor won me over and made me want to know more. This is a great entry for the contest and I also hope in time, you actually follow through with the rest of the story.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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You definitely capture my interest with this. You marvelous writing and delightful sense of humor won me over and made me want to know more. This is a great entry for the contest and I also hope in time, you actually follow through with the rest of the story.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thanks so much, Val. I "plan" to...Pardon the pun...Bob
Comment from curious novice
Love how Renee's internal dialog, or self-analysis if you will, unfolds below but parallel to the movement of the action. That is a tough literary trick to pull off, Bob, yet you've accomplished it brilliantly. The plot carries the reader along at a quick pace while never leaving out the James Joyce-ian 'stream of consciousness' of Renee's own thinking about the events. It's all very effective and provocative. Love the line: "and at no time had He specifically counseled her to start an affair with a limo driver...." Terrific twist. And a terrific leaping off page to get the story rolling. Best of luck in the contest. Andy
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Love how Renee's internal dialog, or self-analysis if you will, unfolds below but parallel to the movement of the action. That is a tough literary trick to pull off, Bob, yet you've accomplished it brilliantly. The plot carries the reader along at a quick pace while never leaving out the James Joyce-ian 'stream of consciousness' of Renee's own thinking about the events. It's all very effective and provocative. Love the line: "and at no time had He specifically counseled her to start an affair with a limo driver...." Terrific twist. And a terrific leaping off page to get the story rolling. Best of luck in the contest. Andy
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Hi, Andy. Thanks for the fine review and especially the sixer! Wow! I am sincerely glad that you liked it...Bob
Comment from Ann Smith
Why is it women look for men with money and power and then after a few years they realize they aren't so rich after all? Renee knew it was wrong to seduce Craig but did it anyway. Now there are even more layers of conflict. The last line is a good tease. Blair had to go. I wonder where Renee wants him to go. ann
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Why is it women look for men with money and power and then after a few years they realize they aren't so rich after all? Renee knew it was wrong to seduce Craig but did it anyway. Now there are even more layers of conflict. The last line is a good tease. Blair had to go. I wonder where Renee wants him to go. ann
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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LOL...great review, Ann. funny and thoughtful. I sincerely appreciate it...Bob
Comment from Alan Degenerate
Great story. I think I agree with a few of the other readers that it has a good enough premise to make into a novel.
I enjoyed the beginning and the humor, but unfortunately, the end, for me, fell a little flat.
I thought the relationship with Craig, however quick, could have been expanded on.
One minute God is telling her to not have an affair and after a quick blow job, God's telling her to move on and that there must be more decent, caring men like Craig. ??? That was one magic blow job.
I'm not a woman, but I don't think most would find giving some guy they just met a blow job in a vehicle as a confidence builder.
I guess I was just looking for a little more to explain why Craig was such a great guy.
Sorry for rambling, I did enjoy it.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Great story. I think I agree with a few of the other readers that it has a good enough premise to make into a novel.
I enjoyed the beginning and the humor, but unfortunately, the end, for me, fell a little flat.
I thought the relationship with Craig, however quick, could have been expanded on.
One minute God is telling her to not have an affair and after a quick blow job, God's telling her to move on and that there must be more decent, caring men like Craig. ??? That was one magic blow job.
I'm not a woman, but I don't think most would find giving some guy they just met a blow job in a vehicle as a confidence builder.
I guess I was just looking for a little more to explain why Craig was such a great guy.
Sorry for rambling, I did enjoy it.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Hey, Alan. How's it going? Well, see the notes at the bottom of the piece, it explains that this contest simply asked for the "germ" of an idea for a novel...I could have expanded in many places, but simply chose not to do so...Thanks for your nreview...and by the way...welcome to Fanstory...Bob
Comment from spellbound
Makes me want to go right down to the bookstore and pick it up.
Well written synopsis of your intended story. I'd say go for it and let me know when its done.
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Makes me want to go right down to the bookstore and pick it up.
Well written synopsis of your intended story. I'd say go for it and let me know when its done.
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you so much for the great review, spellbound (name please) Isincerely appreciate this and the beautiufl sixer too. Bless you. Bob
Comment from Suzie B
That is some idea, Bob. Screams to be a novel. This is written well not giving too much away, to allow for further developemnt, yet baiting the hook delicately so that when you are ready you will have already whetted our appetites.
One small correction...
These Renee weighed {these] not needed.Repetition error methinks.
Good luck in your contest my friend.
Suzie
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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That is some idea, Bob. Screams to be a novel. This is written well not giving too much away, to allow for further developemnt, yet baiting the hook delicately so that when you are ready you will have already whetted our appetites.
One small correction...
These Renee weighed {these] not needed.Repetition error methinks.
Good luck in your contest my friend.
Suzie
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thanks for catching that, Suzie...All taken care of...Thanks for the wonderful review, too...Bob
Comment from Connie P
Bob, this is brilliant ... you absolutely must win this contest.
First a couple of things to check:
**These Renee weighed these(I think there are one to many "these's") against the benefits of being Mrs. Blair Bullinger
**And while he(He for consistency) probably intend(intended or didn't intend) for her to have torrid reckless sex with the first she met, Renee hoped He would understand.
Now for the good stuff:
* his premature ejaculation and of course his rotten choice of after-shave.(You absolutely have to be southern, to have those two things compared in the same sentence is one of the most entertaining things I've ever read!!!)
*Craig was the first man she had ever seduced, if that's what you call a blow job in the front seat of a limo.(LOL, a very direct and effective form of seduction I'd say)
You have outdone yourself and everyone else with this story.
GREAT JOB!!!!
Connie
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Bob, this is brilliant ... you absolutely must win this contest.
First a couple of things to check:
**These Renee weighed these(I think there are one to many "these's") against the benefits of being Mrs. Blair Bullinger
**And while he(He for consistency) probably intend(intended or didn't intend) for her to have torrid reckless sex with the first she met, Renee hoped He would understand.
Now for the good stuff:
* his premature ejaculation and of course his rotten choice of after-shave.(You absolutely have to be southern, to have those two things compared in the same sentence is one of the most entertaining things I've ever read!!!)
*Craig was the first man she had ever seduced, if that's what you call a blow job in the front seat of a limo.(LOL, a very direct and effective form of seduction I'd say)
You have outdone yourself and everyone else with this story.
GREAT JOB!!!!
Connie
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Awww. First of all thanks so much Connie for the help and fine comments. Secondly, I appreciate that YOU appreciate my writing this much...OO Bob
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I put a note in my planner to vote, Saturday I believe ... once again, I am slain by this fabulous piece.
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You are such a sweetheart....Bob
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You are so kind, Connie...Thanks so much for the six too...wow! Bob
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It is well deserved for this fantastic piece. Keep writing my friend ... what talent you possess!
Connie
Comment from Patricia.Green
Sounds like the book jacket for a pretty good thriller. There is much you can do with it, and the characters you describe look interesting.
Two suggestions: watch out for passive voice, it is particularly apparent in the 3rd and 4th paragraphs (see all those bad "had"s); and you are missing a word in this sentence "And while he probably [didn't] intend for her to have torrid reckless sex with the first she met, Renee hoped He would understand."
Hope this helps! Great luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Sounds like the book jacket for a pretty good thriller. There is much you can do with it, and the characters you describe look interesting.
Two suggestions: watch out for passive voice, it is particularly apparent in the 3rd and 4th paragraphs (see all those bad "had"s); and you are missing a word in this sentence "And while he probably [didn't] intend for her to have torrid reckless sex with the first she met, Renee hoped He would understand."
Hope this helps! Great luck in the contest!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Hi, Patrica. Yes I caught that nit, however, sometimes "hads" are necessary unfortunately. They are okay if they have meaning and there is no other plausible way to say what you want. If you have any suggestions without changing the flavor of the chapter, feel free to tell me...Thanks again....Bob
