Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The promise given"A book of Poetry & Writing
88 total reviews
Comment from P. G. Simpkins
i loved the way you expressed parts of the body and their actions with parts of nature, very clever, nice and smooth and ienjoyed it very much, my favourite line being about the temple, nice font and colour too, well done : )
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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i loved the way you expressed parts of the body and their actions with parts of nature, very clever, nice and smooth and ienjoyed it very much, my favourite line being about the temple, nice font and colour too, well done : )
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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again thank you for reading this
Comment from mchapman
I liked the very first sentence of this writing. It explains the rest of the story. which is loaded with much emotion and imagery given insight to promise.....thanks for sharing....mary
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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I liked the very first sentence of this writing. It explains the rest of the story. which is loaded with much emotion and imagery given insight to promise.....thanks for sharing....mary
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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thank you Mary for your review
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welcome
Comment from bhogg
Very nicely done. This poem has great imagery. Vows are often taken too lightly. A couple of spags (I think).
allusive (allusive is a word, but I think you meant illusive)
dome (doom)
reply by the author on 28-May-2010
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Very nicely done. This poem has great imagery. Vows are often taken too lightly. A couple of spags (I think).
allusive (allusive is a word, but I think you meant illusive)
dome (doom)
Comment Written 28-May-2010
reply by the author on 28-May-2010
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thanks for the comments bhogg change on the way
Comment from Valkarie
I like this because...It flows so well is concise and has a powerful visual effect that captures the tension of the piece in its entirety. An inspiring piece with a good rhythm and imagery along with the complexity makes this piece very creative indeed.
Valkarie...
reply by the author on 28-May-2010
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I like this because...It flows so well is concise and has a powerful visual effect that captures the tension of the piece in its entirety. An inspiring piece with a good rhythm and imagery along with the complexity makes this piece very creative indeed.
Valkarie...
Comment Written 28-May-2010
reply by the author on 28-May-2010
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thank you Valkarie
Comment from Realist101
Gee, I need a six here. So sorry...I love this very thoughtful poem. It is more like a scripture, with very important messages that we can all learn from. Very nicely done! Susan
reply by the author on 28-May-2010
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Gee, I need a six here. So sorry...I love this very thoughtful poem. It is more like a scripture, with very important messages that we can all learn from. Very nicely done! Susan
Comment Written 28-May-2010
reply by the author on 28-May-2010
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thank you Susan
Comment from missy98writer
deepwater,
Marriage vows are taken too lightly this day and age. Marriage is work to have a great one. Your poem is well written. Excellent descriptive writing. Beautiful photo you used to illustrate your poem 'The promise given.' I particularly liked the lines:
The soul the allusive butterfly so frail without the heart and mind,
The temple your body is given freely in love, or taken in whim or revenge.
The eyes the inner window giving lightness to the spirit, or darkness and dome,
Thanks for sharing your lovely poem. . .Melissa.
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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deepwater,
Marriage vows are taken too lightly this day and age. Marriage is work to have a great one. Your poem is well written. Excellent descriptive writing. Beautiful photo you used to illustrate your poem 'The promise given.' I particularly liked the lines:
The soul the allusive butterfly so frail without the heart and mind,
The temple your body is given freely in love, or taken in whim or revenge.
The eyes the inner window giving lightness to the spirit, or darkness and dome,
Thanks for sharing your lovely poem. . .Melissa.
Comment Written 12-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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thank you melissa
Comment from InHisownwrite
I for one am always glad that you get off your tractor long enough to write....This is filled with so much wisdom that is learned, simply by going through.... Love the imagery in it as well..(A new eclipse in life, but its lost
with discontent)(The soul the allusive butterfly) (so frail without the heart and mind) love the whole context in comparison to body parts.. Good stuff my friend.. Bryan
reply by the author on 12-May-2010
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I for one am always glad that you get off your tractor long enough to write....This is filled with so much wisdom that is learned, simply by going through.... Love the imagery in it as well..(A new eclipse in life, but its lost
with discontent)(The soul the allusive butterfly) (so frail without the heart and mind) love the whole context in comparison to body parts.. Good stuff my friend.. Bryan
Comment Written 12-May-2010
reply by the author on 12-May-2010
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thank you Bryan
Comment from dportwood
deepwater,
As most ministers would agree, the wedding vows should not be taken lightly or easily put aside. Our commitments should be made with heart, mind, and body. Well done.
Duane
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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deepwater,
As most ministers would agree, the wedding vows should not be taken lightly or easily put aside. Our commitments should be made with heart, mind, and body. Well done.
Duane
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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thank you Duane
Comment from Bellringer
In the line "Fulfillment lies with faith and sacrifice within." May I suggest leaving the word "within" out. Faith and faith are both internal (a state of mind) and external through actions of faith and sacrifice...in this case marriage.
"The heart can be given, a new eclipse in life, but is lost with discontent" May I suggest: The heart may be given but with each eclipse of discontent is lost
"allusive butterfly" Did you mean illusive?
"darkness and dome" did you mean doom?
"The feet you stand like an oak," Suggest: The feet you stand on like an oak. You can also say: Your feet are strong oaks bearing the promise of your commitments.
Hope this helps.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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In the line "Fulfillment lies with faith and sacrifice within." May I suggest leaving the word "within" out. Faith and faith are both internal (a state of mind) and external through actions of faith and sacrifice...in this case marriage.
"The heart can be given, a new eclipse in life, but is lost with discontent" May I suggest: The heart may be given but with each eclipse of discontent is lost
"allusive butterfly" Did you mean illusive?
"darkness and dome" did you mean doom?
"The feet you stand like an oak," Suggest: The feet you stand on like an oak. You can also say: Your feet are strong oaks bearing the promise of your commitments.
Hope this helps.
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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thanks for the comments
Comment from Charlene0513
To deepwater,
A free verse poem speaking of the depth of souls and hearts joined matrimonial sanctity or the reversal of what one deems possible is caught up in a whirlwind of dreams.
Equating one life as the best but may be compromised with tribulation and misfortune.
Charlene
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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To deepwater,
A free verse poem speaking of the depth of souls and hearts joined matrimonial sanctity or the reversal of what one deems possible is caught up in a whirlwind of dreams.
Equating one life as the best but may be compromised with tribulation and misfortune.
Charlene
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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thanks for reading
