The Empty Bed
It's lonely at the top72 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
What an intense story and you carried it all the way through. Your characters was strong and the dialogue excellent. Great job.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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What an intense story and you carried it all the way through. Your characters was strong and the dialogue excellent. Great job.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Thanks for a great review.
Comment from Jetco
A quirky little story. It was a fun read for me. I liked it and must say good luck in contest. I got a story in this too. May the best story win this thing.
Regards,
Jetco
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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A quirky little story. It was a fun read for me. I liked it and must say good luck in contest. I got a story in this too. May the best story win this thing.
Regards,
Jetco
Comment Written 25-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Thanks for an excellent review. Good luck to you as well.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is well written and enjoyable. There is a misspelled word-mabbe should be maybe. The end is a surprise. Good luck in the contest. Debbie
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2010
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This is well written and enjoyable. There is a misspelled word-mabbe should be maybe. The end is a surprise. Good luck in the contest. Debbie
Comment Written 25-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2010
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Thanks for your review. For clarification, mebbe is dialectical to indicate Lloyd's speech. Thanks again.
Comment from Rama Rao
An excellent story which was well written. It made good reading.
Kate, although a successful woman had some basic instincts and Lloyd exploited her. Aren't the men of the species good at this?
I wish you good luck in the contest.
However, a few suggestions.
1. My mind wondered= wandered?
2.you all, but
3. For somebody who could write elegant computer code, Lloyd's English skills were sadly lacking-Lloyd could hardly express himself well (for parallelism)
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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An excellent story which was well written. It made good reading.
Kate, although a successful woman had some basic instincts and Lloyd exploited her. Aren't the men of the species good at this?
I wish you good luck in the contest.
However, a few suggestions.
1. My mind wondered= wandered?
2.you all, but
3. For somebody who could write elegant computer code, Lloyd's English skills were sadly lacking-Lloyd could hardly express himself well (for parallelism)
Comment Written 25-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Thanks for a very analytical and excellent review. I implemented your first suggestion.
Comment from shariannegaylee
Good story but a LOT of mechanical errors! Read it again, I think you'll find them (Catherine vs. Katherine for example). I loved the ending, though!
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2010
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Good story but a LOT of mechanical errors! Read it again, I think you'll find them (Catherine vs. Katherine for example). I loved the ending, though!
Comment Written 25-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2010
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I found the error of using Catherine once and corrected it. What are the other mechanical errors? Thanks for a good review.
Comment from Shirley B
Great job, Alvin. I fell right into this one. I did not see this one coming at all! I fell for for the guys charm and everything. Great imagery and playing up the guy like he was as inoccent as the day he was born. And for the woman on the phone well...she sounded like a true woman scorned. Great job. Best of luck to you in the contest, Shirley
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2010
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Great job, Alvin. I fell right into this one. I did not see this one coming at all! I fell for for the guys charm and everything. Great imagery and playing up the guy like he was as inoccent as the day he was born. And for the woman on the phone well...she sounded like a true woman scorned. Great job. Best of luck to you in the contest, Shirley
Comment Written 25-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2010
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Thanks for a great review; I am truly appreciative.
Comment from Belinda
So now the woman who knows how to climb the corporate ladder has her problems. You've skillfully weaved this story, Alvin, it gives me the creeps. But I assumed the bomb is not real, only figuratively used, right?
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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So now the woman who knows how to climb the corporate ladder has her problems. You've skillfully weaved this story, Alvin, it gives me the creeps. But I assumed the bomb is not real, only figuratively used, right?
Comment Written 25-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Thanks for an excellent review. I am curious--what do you think? Is the bomb real or imaginary?
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Alvin,
I have to say this is the best short story of yours I have read so far.
What I'm saying your story indeed, was intriguing and exciting.
In plain words-
Your closure was pretty frightening.
Gert
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2010
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Hello Alvin,
I have to say this is the best short story of yours I have read so far.
What I'm saying your story indeed, was intriguing and exciting.
In plain words-
Your closure was pretty frightening.
Gert
Comment Written 25-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2010
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Thanks for a great review. Since you have read all my stories, this is a high compliment indeed. Looks like the Flash Fiction class taught by suneagle is paying off. I am so grateful for the exceptional review and the six stars.
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You are welcome Alvin
Gert
Comment from ejebb1951
The suspense is amazing. I couldn't stop reading until it ended and I just love suspense. I was waiting for the bomb to go off. Lloyd fooled his boss. Smart man. She was lonesome and gullible plus this lady knew he was a married man. She got what she deserved. Great story.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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The suspense is amazing. I couldn't stop reading until it ended and I just love suspense. I was waiting for the bomb to go off. Lloyd fooled his boss. Smart man. She was lonesome and gullible plus this lady knew he was a married man. She got what she deserved. Great story.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Thanks for a great review and discerning the moral of the story.
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Did I do that? You're so welcome.
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I think you did...
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Thanks.
Comment from Occasional Beauty
Yeah, I like the way you put the spin to this entry. You pretty much summed it up with the words, never should have messed with a married man. As this progresses swiftly we see that there is retribution to be paid for the sins of the people, see what you get for your treachery, a bomb. Awesome.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Yeah, I like the way you put the spin to this entry. You pretty much summed it up with the words, never should have messed with a married man. As this progresses swiftly we see that there is retribution to be paid for the sins of the people, see what you get for your treachery, a bomb. Awesome.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2010
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Thanks for an excellent review and discerning the moral of the story.