Tiny Tales of Terror
Viewing comments for Chapter 53 "Manhunt"Multi-authored book of flash/micro horror fiction
72 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
Excellent picture that complements this chapter perfectly. I will have to go to sleep later:) It reminded me of a Stephen King book. I loved reading your story. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Excellent picture that complements this chapter perfectly. I will have to go to sleep later:) It reminded me of a Stephen King book. I loved reading your story. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Ine. I've no doubt Mr. King has had a big influence on the way I write. I've read everything the man's written that's been published and made available. From what I hear, there's more to come, so I'll be reading those too.
Have a great weekend, my friend. :)
~Dean
Comment from Sassysandy
"Like a revelation to a sinner at a church revival meeting." "fingers of fiery red and pink hues dancing," I love your descriptive sentences. They bring real life to your story giving the reader a feeling of standing right on the edge of the scene, so close you could almost touch the characters, looking in, while at the same time, being glad you're not because, after all, that voice, is it Jimmy's or something else? I like being taunted....but not scarred to death. This was a good read right up until your view of it. I like the idea of something else out there rather than Frankie's best friend playing that kind of a trick on him. I would have liked to see the reader being left with the unknown, wanting more, and friends looking out for friends.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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"Like a revelation to a sinner at a church revival meeting." "fingers of fiery red and pink hues dancing," I love your descriptive sentences. They bring real life to your story giving the reader a feeling of standing right on the edge of the scene, so close you could almost touch the characters, looking in, while at the same time, being glad you're not because, after all, that voice, is it Jimmy's or something else? I like being taunted....but not scarred to death. This was a good read right up until your view of it. I like the idea of something else out there rather than Frankie's best friend playing that kind of a trick on him. I would have liked to see the reader being left with the unknown, wanting more, and friends looking out for friends.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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I left the identity of the mysterious voice Frankie heard outside as the "unknown" aspect of this story, Sandy. Was it really Jimmy just goofing around, or something far more sinister? Hopefully Frankie never finds out.
This is based on an actual childhood experience. As it turned out, it was just another friend of ours, Billy, who joined in the hunt without my knowledge. I can tell you this, the eerie voice he used was a masterpiece. It really sent me running!
Thanks so much again for reading and reviewing my story.
~Dean :}
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Dean,
My pleasure. Sometimes, those childhood experiences can bring forth the best writing inspiration out of all of us. I've used my childhood memories numerous times.
Comment from Ulla
Well, well Dean, another little gem of yours! Very well written and structured giving any child a nightmare playing an innocent game as 'Manhunt'. I used to love that game as a child but this one has a nasty little twist. I loved it. All the best. Ulla
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Well, well Dean, another little gem of yours! Very well written and structured giving any child a nightmare playing an innocent game as 'Manhunt'. I used to love that game as a child but this one has a nasty little twist. I loved it. All the best. Ulla
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much for your review, Ulla. I'm really glad you enjoyed this one!
~Dean :}
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hmmm, so if Jimmy was inside the house, then who.....hmmmm....
Well, hide and seek was never really one of my favorite games. My sister and I were playing once upon a time, and I found a clever spot way up in a tree - I was quite the tree-hugger in my youth. A friend came to see her and she took off leaving me up the tree with a cat that kept digging it's claws in me (lovingly of course).
Anyway, this was a much worse experience than mine, so you go Jimmy or whoever it was that scared the crud out of Frankie.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Hmmm, so if Jimmy was inside the house, then who.....hmmmm....
Well, hide and seek was never really one of my favorite games. My sister and I were playing once upon a time, and I found a clever spot way up in a tree - I was quite the tree-hugger in my youth. A friend came to see her and she took off leaving me up the tree with a cat that kept digging it's claws in me (lovingly of course).
Anyway, this was a much worse experience than mine, so you go Jimmy or whoever it was that scared the crud out of Frankie.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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This is based on an actual childhood experience of mine, Rhonda. As it turned out, it was just another friend of ours, Billy, who joined in the "hunt" without my knowledge. I can tell you this, the eerie voice he used was a masterpiece. It really sent me running!
Thanks so much again for reading and reviewing my story.
~Dean :}
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Oh, wow, yeah, I would have peed myself! Boys!!!! Girls were busy playing with Barbie Dolls and saying what dorks the boys were!
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Are, Rhonda...what dorks we are. Were just much larger now, and a whole lot more annoying, heh-heh.
~Dean :}
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Not alll the time...
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No, you're right, not all the time. There's still that ten percent to consider, heh-heh. ;)
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Yes, there's that.
Comment from Pen of Fire
Spooky!!! A very well told story. I love your thank you line "Thanks for reading, Pleasant Screams! Heh-heh-heh..." A chillingly good story line, easy to read and excellent visual. You are a master story teller/writer.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Spooky!!! A very well told story. I love your thank you line "Thanks for reading, Pleasant Screams! Heh-heh-heh..." A chillingly good story line, easy to read and excellent visual. You are a master story teller/writer.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Pen of Fire. I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. Thanks for your wonderful comments, and I appreciate you taking the time to review the story.
Take care, and have a fantastic weekend.
~Dean :}
Comment from Sasha
Even as a child, I didn't like playing hide-and-seek...hate opening doors or looking under the bed, never knew what I would find. Great work with this one, it was fun to read and not too scary. Keep up the great work.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Even as a child, I didn't like playing hide-and-seek...hate opening doors or looking under the bed, never knew what I would find. Great work with this one, it was fun to read and not too scary. Keep up the great work.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Valerie. I appreciate the review.
This one is based on an actual experience I had as a kid. Me and my friend Don were playing hide 'n' go seek, and our friend Bill showed up without me knowing it. Billy played a trick on me, using a weird, sing-song voice out near Don's dad's old barn, and it scared the fear of God into me. I ran right into Don just before I actually got inside the front door. They both set me up!
~Dean :}
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Now that's true friendship...LOL
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I know, right!? :})
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Dean: who wanted to plllaaayyy outside? The voice was eerie and strange.
It's good that Frankie went inside. Was that a person out there or a voice
recording? Creeepppyyy. It will stick with him forever...aaaaaa!
Enjoy putting this book together, Dean. It should be a thriller seller.
We are packing up Monica's clothes, shoes and stuff today. Monday, we pack the car. Tuesday, we drive to Denver. Prayers, thanks. flylikeaneagle - nancy
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Dean: who wanted to plllaaayyy outside? The voice was eerie and strange.
It's good that Frankie went inside. Was that a person out there or a voice
recording? Creeepppyyy. It will stick with him forever...aaaaaa!
Enjoy putting this book together, Dean. It should be a thriller seller.
We are packing up Monica's clothes, shoes and stuff today. Monday, we pack the car. Tuesday, we drive to Denver. Prayers, thanks. flylikeaneagle - nancy
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Fly like an Eagle, Nancy, just as that old classic Steve Miller song says.
Thanks very much for the review, and stay safe.~Dean :}
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Well done! I loved the descriptive passages used to set the scene as they were vivid without being overpowering. The story moves along at a good pace and while the ending is no surprise - you keep the reader thoroughly engaged and hoping that the silly boy does not go into that dark corner to play. Nicely done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Well done! I loved the descriptive passages used to set the scene as they were vivid without being overpowering. The story moves along at a good pace and while the ending is no surprise - you keep the reader thoroughly engaged and hoping that the silly boy does not go into that dark corner to play. Nicely done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Monica. No blood, guts or gore in this one. More like a Goosebumps episode of Tiny Tales, LOL.
Much obliged for the review.
~Dean
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Spooky,
I enjoyed this one very much.
Manhunt, Hide and seek, whatever, it's called lends itself to all sorts of fun and games. We used to play it in the woods at night - silly, silly, silly!
Well written with great attention to detail (such as Converse trainers) which aide that sense of heightened reality.
Love the presentation of the voice with the diminishing letters. Nice device.
Great stuff
G
the boys more sinister - should this be boys' or boy's?
indoor search, He rushed - he
that ususally only added - usually
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Hi Spooky,
I enjoyed this one very much.
Manhunt, Hide and seek, whatever, it's called lends itself to all sorts of fun and games. We used to play it in the woods at night - silly, silly, silly!
Well written with great attention to detail (such as Converse trainers) which aide that sense of heightened reality.
Love the presentation of the voice with the diminishing letters. Nice device.
Great stuff
G
the boys more sinister - should this be boys' or boy's?
indoor search, He rushed - he
that ususally only added - usually
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Thanks, G-man. I'm just about to read and review your Sherlock Holmes tale here in a minute or two. From what I've seen, it sounds pretty good, so I'm looking forward to it. Besides, I'm a big Arthur Conan Doyle fan from way back.
Thanks again for the fiver, and the review! ~Dean ;)
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No problem, my friend. i think there is still a spelling error where you spell usually as ususally, I know how particular you like to be!
Comment from CD Richards
I like this, very descriptive:
The setting sun sent fingers of fiery red and pink hues dancing across the darkening summer skies.
Who says you have to have blood and gore to make a good horror story?
A really well spun tale of a chilling game of hide and shriek. Thanks for the nightmares, Dean :)
Craig.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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I like this, very descriptive:
The setting sun sent fingers of fiery red and pink hues dancing across the darkening summer skies.
Who says you have to have blood and gore to make a good horror story?
A really well spun tale of a chilling game of hide and shriek. Thanks for the nightmares, Dean :)
Craig.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Craig. I'm a firm believer that blood & excessive gore does not always a good horror yarn make. In fact, it can detract from the story at times.
Much obliged for the review. :}
~Dean
