Aghast
A (slightly modified) Octogram poem102 total reviews
Comment from Angel Lights
Yes, you scared me! My favorite line deadly touch like poison oak. I thought of a swamp near by reported to be haunted. Good job. I was aghast !!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Yes, you scared me! My favorite line deadly touch like poison oak. I thought of a swamp near by reported to be haunted. Good job. I was aghast !!
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thanks for the R&R, Angel Lights, and for taking an interest--if for just this once--in my poetic efforts.
I very much appreciate your comments.
~Dean
Comment from robyn corum
HEY! You're talking about ME, aren't you??!!! Deep in the south -- greenish glow -- keep you here... yep. It all adds up. You've stumbled onto my bog lab. Oops. Did I kill another cousin? I have the WORST habit of that. Sorry.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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HEY! You're talking about ME, aren't you??!!! Deep in the south -- greenish glow -- keep you here... yep. It all adds up. You've stumbled onto my bog lab. Oops. Did I kill another cousin? I have the WORST habit of that. Sorry.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thanks for reading, Robyn.
~Dean
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Dean, this is the best pictogram that I have read and honestly, it is the first that I have reviewed.
There is such intense thought provoking feelings in this very exceptional poem. You set up each line and each thought and happening very well.
I know that Bile Bog has been scratched off my to do list from the fear it has created.
Well done my friend,,,,,,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Dean, this is the best pictogram that I have read and honestly, it is the first that I have reviewed.
There is such intense thought provoking feelings in this very exceptional poem. You set up each line and each thought and happening very well.
I know that Bile Bog has been scratched off my to do list from the fear it has created.
Well done my friend,,,,,,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thanks for reading AGHAST, Jim, and for the awesome comments and exceptional stellar rating.
I appreciate your time, as well as your thoughtful support.
More than any of that, I'm just really happy that you enjoyed it.
~Dean :}
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I don't know where pictogram got into my review. Next time I will pay more attention.
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I dunno, Jim.
No worries, my friend.
~Dean :}
Comment from Douglas Paul
I think you did a great job on this one, Dean. Love the sound effects. This is an interesting form with a tempo that drives home the key lines - seems well suited for horror poetry if used correctly - and you did.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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I think you did a great job on this one, Dean. Love the sound effects. This is an interesting form with a tempo that drives home the key lines - seems well suited for horror poetry if used correctly - and you did.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thanks for reading AGHAST, Douglas, and for the awesome comments and exceptional stellar rating.
I appreciate your time, as well as your thoughtful support.
More than any of that, I'm just really happy that you enjoyed it.
~Dean :}
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You are welcome, my friend
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Very creepy, Dean You followed all the rules
and your rhyme was great. Syllable count spot on,
however you have one line out of meter.
"whispers sweet nothings in your ear." I can't think of any way to fix it. Maybe "can shriek sweet nothings in your ear"
LOL Just a suggestion. Good Luck. Nancy
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Very creepy, Dean You followed all the rules
and your rhyme was great. Syllable count spot on,
however you have one line out of meter.
"whispers sweet nothings in your ear." I can't think of any way to fix it. Maybe "can shriek sweet nothings in your ear"
LOL Just a suggestion. Good Luck. Nancy
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thanks for the R&R, Nancy.
Have a nice day.
~Dean
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Excellent Octogram, Dean! Creepy artwork and I love that you used that 'glow-in-the-dark' green-ish font on the black background ... very striking and sets the mood for your creepy tale.
Fave line: "you stare -- aghast ... " The repetition of this line drives home the message that what you are seeing is truly horrible. Well written and presented, I sure enjoyed reading this ... very entertaining!
Thanks for the very pleasant scream! :)
Connie
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Excellent Octogram, Dean! Creepy artwork and I love that you used that 'glow-in-the-dark' green-ish font on the black background ... very striking and sets the mood for your creepy tale.
Fave line: "you stare -- aghast ... " The repetition of this line drives home the message that what you are seeing is truly horrible. Well written and presented, I sure enjoyed reading this ... very entertaining!
Thanks for the very pleasant scream! :)
Connie
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thanks very much for reading AGHAST, Connie.
I appreciate your comments.
~Dean
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Some times it is the lure of what you are not supposed to have anything to do with that draws a person in and will not turn them loose again.
This well written poem paints the illusion of being in a Southern bog when the deadly touch is applied.
Another Classic.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Some times it is the lure of what you are not supposed to have anything to do with that draws a person in and will not turn them loose again.
This well written poem paints the illusion of being in a Southern bog when the deadly touch is applied.
Another Classic.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thanks, Brett.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh my! Thank you for the author's notes. Since I'm not a poet I struggle with the different poetry styles. Your notes were very educational.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Oh my! Thank you for the author's notes. Since I'm not a poet I struggle with the different poetry styles. Your notes were very educational.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thanks, Barb.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
I'd be outta there like a cork from a bottle. LOL!
I'm no expert on poetic devices/mechanics etc, but I must say I really like the cadence of this format. It's sharp. Has impact. Love the repeating line! and ...it ain't swamp gas... YIKES!
I grew up near a marsh where Jack o'Lanterns could often be seen. Led a few to their deaths over the years, that phenomenon.
Great read, Dean. It's a gas! ;)
Av
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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I'd be outta there like a cork from a bottle. LOL!
I'm no expert on poetic devices/mechanics etc, but I must say I really like the cadence of this format. It's sharp. Has impact. Love the repeating line! and ...it ain't swamp gas... YIKES!
I grew up near a marsh where Jack o'Lanterns could often be seen. Led a few to their deaths over the years, that phenomenon.
Great read, Dean. It's a gas! ;)
Av
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thanks for reading, Av.
Much obliged...
~Dean :}
Comment from c_lucas
The swamps doesn't offer peace and serenity when one visits. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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The swamps doesn't offer peace and serenity when one visits. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
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Thanks, Charlie.