Comment from L.lora

Excellent

Beautiful picture to accentuate
your well chosen words that
definitely capture a moment
in time. Best of luck with
the your contest. Lora

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016

Lora, thank you so much for this great review and best wishes, I'm glad you liked it. All best.

Comment from MariMc

Excellent

A marvelous haiku that fits every requirement of the form. Starting with the soaring eagle, the reader doesn't know where this is going, and the last line is a shock. I would not have been as surprised if it were a mouse or a vole. The lamb in trouble is a great satori. Also an unspoken reminder of the unpredictability and vicissitudes of life for all creatures. Very nicely done.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016

Thank you so much for this great review. So glad you liked it. All best.

Comment from foxangie123

Excellent

I am rating this as a regular poem or five seven five since it has a picture and it is a hawk not an eagle. I didn't know if you knew that. Either way I love it. It creates the imagery of freedom. Way to go.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2016

It's a Haiku with 16 syllables with a satori line and haikus always have pictures. And it is an eagle. Never mind. Thanks anyway.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A well-written haiku on the golden eagle that siars high and sweeping the ground for prey with his very sharp eyes, the poor lamb us in big trouble.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2016

Thanks a lot Sandra for this great review. :)

Comment from Jim Lorson Sr

Excellent

This is an excellent haiku contest entry. The photo of this great bird is quite beautiful and compliments your poem. The strength that these birds possess is incredible and to be able to see it in action would be quite the sight. I like the message of this poem and I wish you good luck in this contest.

Enjoy this wonderful afternoon,,,,Jim

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2016

Thanks a lot Jim for the great review. Yes, those birds are indeed a sight to behold. We see Eagles here in the mountains where we live in Spain. I love them. Thanks again. All the best.:)

Comment from heyjude

Excellent

Mystery author, this seems to be a good haiku. The eagle looks around as it soars high. Poor lamb is right. It is definitely in trouble

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2016

Thank you so mush for the great review. All the best.

Comment from Eternal Muse

Excellent

That was a gorgeous haiku worthy of a six. The picture is phenomenal, but your poem stands on its own. Everything is perfect about this.

The only problem is, and this is reason for a reduced rating, haiku requires two grammatically interconnected lines of concrete imagery in the first two lines - and each of your lines (1 and 2) stand on their own.

Suggestion:

golden eagle soars
sweeping the ground with sharp eye
lamb in trouble

Beautiful satori!

Easy fix. This is a contest committee monitored contest, I would hate for something that beautiful to get disqualified.

Love, Y.



This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2016

Hi yeltel, thanks a lot for your help. I am new to poetry and learning. I see what you mean, and it is corrected. Hope you will look at it again. All the best, and thanks again.

reply by Eternal Muse on 09-Jun-2016

Perfect now! You have the short-long-short format (5-7-4), which is fine, and this concocts a gorgeous picture. If you are new to poetry, I must say, you have real talent for haiku!

Kudos! This may be the winner. Loved it.

I will raise the rating.

reply by the author on 09-Jun-2016

Thanks a lot for doing that. I am fascinated with Japanese culture having been to Japan a lot. Hence the Haiku really appeals to me. Only started to write poetry for the first time in my life earlier this year. I am a prose writer. Thanks again for your great support. All the best.:)))