Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "The Venus fly trap "A book of Poetry & Writing
91 total reviews
Comment from GWHARGIS
I was wondering if this was about an older man who lost his younger girlfriend or an old man looking back at his young bride who has passed. That's what I liked about this. It cold change and morph into so many different stories. Great job.
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I was wondering if this was about an older man who lost his younger girlfriend or an old man looking back at his young bride who has passed. That's what I liked about this. It cold change and morph into so many different stories. Great job.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from ElPoetry001
Excellent
The Chinese Master says: "Do not confuse temptation with opportunity."
Renting or dating is an agreement with an escape clause. When Santa Claus leaves, so do the trees, and the leaves, and the thieves.
So easy to convince a man, a woman with looks and pheromones draws him in to be used, abused, and dropped, much like the shell of an insect.
Man does not live on sex alone, and believing such will cut you to the bone.
Did your mirror tell you that you are desirable when you have no money, get real honey, you are a dog.
Love keeps people together, they do not have to marry. Marriage is a plan to redistribute a man's, and sometimes a woman's money.
Date, relate, rent, test, before commitment.
Wait, the pheromones are in the air, add oestrus and it is sexual gangbusters.
Then add a woman with six inch high heels that elevate her posterior. Notice that the toe stays on the ground and the rump is elevated. Those fashion designers know how to entice Curly, Larry, and Moe.
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Excellent
The Chinese Master says: "Do not confuse temptation with opportunity."
Renting or dating is an agreement with an escape clause. When Santa Claus leaves, so do the trees, and the leaves, and the thieves.
So easy to convince a man, a woman with looks and pheromones draws him in to be used, abused, and dropped, much like the shell of an insect.
Man does not live on sex alone, and believing such will cut you to the bone.
Did your mirror tell you that you are desirable when you have no money, get real honey, you are a dog.
Love keeps people together, they do not have to marry. Marriage is a plan to redistribute a man's, and sometimes a woman's money.
Date, relate, rent, test, before commitment.
Wait, the pheromones are in the air, add oestrus and it is sexual gangbusters.
Then add a woman with six inch high heels that elevate her posterior. Notice that the toe stays on the ground and the rump is elevated. Those fashion designers know how to entice Curly, Larry, and Moe.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi GW,
I like this a lot. Nice thought process and flow.
~~ Not sure, is this a typo ?? ~~
Yours :: Owe sprites so intertwined,
Mine :: Our spirits so intertwined -- ??
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers &
Keep Smilin'... Jax
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Hi GW,
I like this a lot. Nice thought process and flow.
~~ Not sure, is this a typo ?? ~~
Yours :: Owe sprites so intertwined,
Mine :: Our spirits so intertwined -- ??
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers &
Keep Smilin'... Jax
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from Tegan1311
A very well done poem. Your words flow well, your message clear and easy to understand. Quite a sad poem and one that I'm sure many readers can relate to (even if they haven't gone through this themselves) Not quite sure, as a woman, that I like the Adam, Eve and apple reference though. It's not all our fault.
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A very well done poem. Your words flow well, your message clear and easy to understand. Quite a sad poem and one that I'm sure many readers can relate to (even if they haven't gone through this themselves) Not quite sure, as a woman, that I like the Adam, Eve and apple reference though. It's not all our fault.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from royowen
A very sad wistful, reflective poem about things that that May or could have been, I loved the sorrowful, introspective manner in which this was written, and the almost, languid quality of this well written and poignant poem, I found it a rewarding read. Well done, blessings, Roy.
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A very sad wistful, reflective poem about things that that May or could have been, I loved the sorrowful, introspective manner in which this was written, and the almost, languid quality of this well written and poignant poem, I found it a rewarding read. Well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from dennis0530
This is written with feelings of regret and loss.
Maybe the writer's character is writing about the literal "dark-eyed" girls. But how the story runs, I look at the metaphorical "dark-eyes" that look and see with sinister motives. If so, the story carries a fair warning.
I notice just two minor slips :
9th line - a comma is needed after "jewelry."
12th line - HE'D or HAD done.
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This is written with feelings of regret and loss.
Maybe the writer's character is writing about the literal "dark-eyed" girls. But how the story runs, I look at the metaphorical "dark-eyes" that look and see with sinister motives. If so, the story carries a fair warning.
I notice just two minor slips :
9th line - a comma is needed after "jewelry."
12th line - HE'D or HAD done.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yeah...basically we're a sucker for a pretty face. Of course, a nice complete package to go with the pretty face is always welcome, too.
Sometimes, when it just ain't meant to be, it just ain't meant to be. And at the risk of sounding redundant, it just doesn't sound like this relationship was in the cards.
Destiny and Fate are cruel mistresses. Both have an icy-cold grip and a sinister sense of humor. After all, when Adam did what he did; allow the woman Eve to tempt him to eat from the fruit of knowledge, the tree of good, and evil, you would have thought we'd have learned by now...
Right?
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Yeah...basically we're a sucker for a pretty face. Of course, a nice complete package to go with the pretty face is always welcome, too.
Sometimes, when it just ain't meant to be, it just ain't meant to be. And at the risk of sounding redundant, it just doesn't sound like this relationship was in the cards.
Destiny and Fate are cruel mistresses. Both have an icy-cold grip and a sinister sense of humor. After all, when Adam did what he did; allow the woman Eve to tempt him to eat from the fruit of knowledge, the tree of good, and evil, you would have thought we'd have learned by now...
Right?
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from nomi338
There has never been a satisfactory answer to what leads a person to betray the love and trust of another. The heads of men have always been turned by the exotic,curvaceous allure of the beautiful dark eyed girls of the world. So sad the poor and broken hearted man who places his trust in a woman who allows her head and heart to be turned aside by someone who cares not about her heart, but desires the enjoyment of her body.
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There has never been a satisfactory answer to what leads a person to betray the love and trust of another. The heads of men have always been turned by the exotic,curvaceous allure of the beautiful dark eyed girls of the world. So sad the poor and broken hearted man who places his trust in a woman who allows her head and heart to be turned aside by someone who cares not about her heart, but desires the enjoyment of her body.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from visionary1234
hmmm ... what does this say about brown-eyed girls in general then GW? ouch! A few spelling/grammar (spag) errors here:
He sits at home and blames himself for the things he wished he(he'd) done
Also, where there is rhyme, there's an expectation of poetic meter/ rhythm ... but here it's a bit bumpy. You might want to take a peek at that, because the theme of this poem is really quite lovely.
:)Sharyn
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hmmm ... what does this say about brown-eyed girls in general then GW? ouch! A few spelling/grammar (spag) errors here:
He sits at home and blames himself for the things he wished he(he'd) done
Also, where there is rhyme, there's an expectation of poetic meter/ rhythm ... but here it's a bit bumpy. You might want to take a peek at that, because the theme of this poem is really quite lovely.
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from c_lucas
I am surprise a woman would jokingly stand by just a sign. This is very well written with an interesting flow of words, making for a good read.
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I am surprise a woman would jokingly stand by just a sign. This is very well written with an interesting flow of words, making for a good read.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
