Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "The Dark Of the Moon"A book of Poetry & Writing
134 total reviews
Comment from evilynne
A sad touching farewell for a soldier. Your work is emotional and well written. It delivers its solemn message clearly. The work seems to flow fairly well from beginning to end; the accompanying picture is quite stunning.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
  |
A sad touching farewell for a soldier. Your work is emotional and well written. It delivers its solemn message clearly. The work seems to flow fairly well from beginning to end; the accompanying picture is quite stunning.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
-
thank you
Comment from ElPoetry001
Excellent prayer of the those possessing courage and boldness, facing battle to secure our freedoms.
Your poem made me wonder who is worthy to have such young men and women step forward, in harms way, as we go on with our lives far from the battle.
Your poem made me wonder if a salute, to a deceased soldier, sailor, marine, or air force combatant is enough when we placed their tired bodies beneath the green, green, grass home.
The answer is that is not enough, it will never be enough, we must reward our veterans, and the families of the deceased with a financial future that is paved with the finances, opportunity, and rehabilitation that they earned.
If we do not act now, someday soon we will have to resort to compulsory enrollment for the armed forces; draft.
Patriotism alone will not be the reason to send our finest young adults to foreign shores to fight for others; many who curse us as invaders.
Well written, moving, yet telling.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
 |
Excellent prayer of the those possessing courage and boldness, facing battle to secure our freedoms.
Your poem made me wonder who is worthy to have such young men and women step forward, in harms way, as we go on with our lives far from the battle.
Your poem made me wonder if a salute, to a deceased soldier, sailor, marine, or air force combatant is enough when we placed their tired bodies beneath the green, green, grass home.
The answer is that is not enough, it will never be enough, we must reward our veterans, and the families of the deceased with a financial future that is paved with the finances, opportunity, and rehabilitation that they earned.
If we do not act now, someday soon we will have to resort to compulsory enrollment for the armed forces; draft.
Patriotism alone will not be the reason to send our finest young adults to foreign shores to fight for others; many who curse us as invaders.
Well written, moving, yet telling.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
-
thank you for this
Gary
Comment from fastdigits
An emotional writing in artistic
and poetic form that is as powerful
and poignant as the sound of the
bugler playing that most mournful
tune, taps, that tears at the heart
and brings a tear.
Well done
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
|
An emotional writing in artistic
and poetic form that is as powerful
and poignant as the sound of the
bugler playing that most mournful
tune, taps, that tears at the heart
and brings a tear.
Well done
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
-
thank you for this
Gary
Comment from Dean Kuch
As a Marine Corp veteran, I truly appreciate you honoring those brave men and women who paid the ultimate sacrifice for God and country, GW. Many give some, yet some give all.
Well done!
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
|
As a Marine Corp veteran, I truly appreciate you honoring those brave men and women who paid the ultimate sacrifice for God and country, GW. Many give some, yet some give all.
Well done!
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
-
thanks Dean from one Veteran to you
-
My pleasure, GW.
Comment from Kingsrookviii
Nicely done tribute to the fallen heroes. It has a solemn fell, tone and flow to it. I especially like the last part about the flag being lowered to complete the deployment. Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
|
Nicely done tribute to the fallen heroes. It has a solemn fell, tone and flow to it. I especially like the last part about the flag being lowered to complete the deployment. Well done.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
-
thank you
Comment from TAB_that's me
I really like this poem and what it says but the last line throws me off - the proximate rhyme of sky/deploy is a little far off and since the other ones are such good rhymes this one doesn't work. Also you already used deploy and in such a short poem it shouldn't be used again.
Teresa
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
|
I really like this poem and what it says but the last line throws me off - the proximate rhyme of sky/deploy is a little far off and since the other ones are such good rhymes this one doesn't work. Also you already used deploy and in such a short poem it shouldn't be used again.
Teresa
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
-
thank you
Comment from OLA THOMAS
This is more of a philosophical poetry than a general poem. Your muse is thick and deep. I especially dig the thoughts in these following lines:"The heart of this soldier, it's time to deploy,
Slow was the breath as I wait on God's grace,"
ola thomas
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
|
This is more of a philosophical poetry than a general poem. Your muse is thick and deep. I especially dig the thoughts in these following lines:"The heart of this soldier, it's time to deploy,
Slow was the breath as I wait on God's grace,"
ola thomas
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
-
thanks Ola
Comment from judiverse
A beautiful tribute to soldiers and what they sacrifice. Being separated from loved ones, as you write about in the beginning, the playing of taps as his comrades lay him to rest. Excellent use of the phrase "heart of this soldier" to show the courage. "Eerie whine" is a great description of the bugle sound. I think the word "deploy" works well for you. The feeling really comes across. Your rhyme pattern is consistent. I notice that the syllable count in some instances is uneven. You begin with ten syllables, but "Six of my brothers carry me forward, my resting place," has 14. Eliminate some of the words (such as of my). judi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
 |
A beautiful tribute to soldiers and what they sacrifice. Being separated from loved ones, as you write about in the beginning, the playing of taps as his comrades lay him to rest. Excellent use of the phrase "heart of this soldier" to show the courage. "Eerie whine" is a great description of the bugle sound. I think the word "deploy" works well for you. The feeling really comes across. Your rhyme pattern is consistent. I notice that the syllable count in some instances is uneven. You begin with ten syllables, but "Six of my brothers carry me forward, my resting place," has 14. Eliminate some of the words (such as of my). judi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
-
thanks
-
You're very welcome. A lovely poem. judi
Comment from Kingsland
This is a well written poem of loss. It has good poetic verve scattered through its thoughts. It's a well written poetic voice that I enjoyed reading... John
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
|
This is a well written poem of loss. It has good poetic verve scattered through its thoughts. It's a well written poetic voice that I enjoyed reading... John
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
-
Thanks John
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is so beautiful, and so heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. so worthy of a six and yet I have no more in my coffers. excellent imagery presented here. I love the picture
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
|
this is so beautiful, and so heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. so worthy of a six and yet I have no more in my coffers. excellent imagery presented here. I love the picture
Comment Written 29-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014
-
Thank you
