Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The promise given"A book of Poetry & Writing
88 total reviews
Comment from janian
very awesome! yes a mind full of judgement and lies only wins hatred. which really isn't winning! taking care of others' hearts is one life's greater chalenges.But also a great reward .god bless,janian
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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very awesome! yes a mind full of judgement and lies only wins hatred. which really isn't winning! taking care of others' hearts is one life's greater chalenges.But also a great reward .god bless,janian
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you so much Janian
Comment from Orchidea Blu
How clever you are with your use of the heart, mind, soul, body (temple),eyes, hands, legs, and feet in your poem explaining how each of these can help to fulfill a promise with faith and sacrafice or how they can not fulfill that promise (well that's how I'm reading it) and it reads well. I can say that I enjoyed reading it several times. The only thing that is tying me into this meaning is the last line "the feet you stand like an oak, holding the promise of your commitments."
Improvements would be the soul is not given a purpose like the others, legs "give strength", hands "carry your compassion".. I've read it several times and it feels like something is more is needed for the soul.
Although I enjoy what you have written for the soul I think to make it work with the rest of the poem it feels like it needs something else. In my humble opinion.
But other than that, good job.
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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How clever you are with your use of the heart, mind, soul, body (temple),eyes, hands, legs, and feet in your poem explaining how each of these can help to fulfill a promise with faith and sacrafice or how they can not fulfill that promise (well that's how I'm reading it) and it reads well. I can say that I enjoyed reading it several times. The only thing that is tying me into this meaning is the last line "the feet you stand like an oak, holding the promise of your commitments."
Improvements would be the soul is not given a purpose like the others, legs "give strength", hands "carry your compassion".. I've read it several times and it feels like something is more is needed for the soul.
Although I enjoy what you have written for the soul I think to make it work with the rest of the poem it feels like it needs something else. In my humble opinion.
But other than that, good job.
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thanks for the comments
Comment from MikiB
Excellent writing on this poetry about getting married. Nice picture chosen of all the people at a wedding in front of the church.
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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Excellent writing on this poetry about getting married. Nice picture chosen of all the people at a wedding in front of the church.
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you Miki for reading this work and have a great weekend
Comment from daniela.albu
I liked the poem and the photo illustrating it. It sounds like a strange vow before a wedding and it is impressive in cadence and tone too:
"The soul the allusive butterfly so frail without the heart and mind,
The temple your body is given freely in love, or taken in whim or revenge".
The end is crowning its grave chord.
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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I liked the poem and the photo illustrating it. It sounds like a strange vow before a wedding and it is impressive in cadence and tone too:
"The soul the allusive butterfly so frail without the heart and mind,
The temple your body is given freely in love, or taken in whim or revenge".
The end is crowning its grave chord.
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you somuch for reading daniela, Gary
Comment from kintesiegel
this is another clever poem but you kind of lost me with this line: "a new eclipse in life," not sure what you mean but overall this is an interesting poem. you pulled it off agaion
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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this is another clever poem but you kind of lost me with this line: "a new eclipse in life," not sure what you mean but overall this is an interesting poem. you pulled it off agaion
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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with help from readers like you Kintesiegal and the comments you make help in the next work thank you
Comment from Chuck23
I enjoyed that the body played it's own part in each line of the poem. The only wording, that I thought could be changed was in line three - I felt that the word loses or will lose would read easier. It doesn't need to be changed, that is just my thoughts on the wording. Overall I really enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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I enjoyed that the body played it's own part in each line of the poem. The only wording, that I thought could be changed was in line three - I felt that the word loses or will lose would read easier. It doesn't need to be changed, that is just my thoughts on the wording. Overall I really enjoyed it.
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thanks for the comments Chuck
Comment from yellowrosebud
I loved this poem of promise you expressed beautifully what it means.I especially loved the first line"Fulliment lies with faith and sacrifice within"Very Well Expressed!
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reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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I loved this poem of promise you expressed beautifully what it means.I especially loved the first line"Fulliment lies with faith and sacrifice within"Very Well Expressed!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you yellowrosebut for reading this Gary
Comment from Mustang Patty
I like the way you used the parts of the body to describe the vow taking, . . .but I'm not sure whether this poem is happy or sad. While it is VERY thought-provoking, I can't quite define whether the thought is that marriage is a good or bad thing.
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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I like the way you used the parts of the body to describe the vow taking, . . .but I'm not sure whether this poem is happy or sad. While it is VERY thought-provoking, I can't quite define whether the thought is that marriage is a good or bad thing.
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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Mustang its for you to know and to think about but thanks for reading
