Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Let the children play and watch."A book of Poetry & Writing
92 total reviews
Comment from dportwood
deepwater,
I'm having somewhat of a problem finding the point of this poem. I guess you are saying that we should give children instruction so they won't repeat our mistakes. So then, if they watch us, how will they know what our mistakes are?
In this line:
A road forword to navigate,
Did you mean for 'forword' to be 'forward'?
And in these lines:
Leave then to study history?
We continue to make the same mistakes?
They don't appear to be questions, so shouldn't end with a question mark.
Duane
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
  |
deepwater,
I'm having somewhat of a problem finding the point of this poem. I guess you are saying that we should give children instruction so they won't repeat our mistakes. So then, if they watch us, how will they know what our mistakes are?
In this line:
A road forword to navigate,
Did you mean for 'forword' to be 'forward'?
And in these lines:
Leave then to study history?
We continue to make the same mistakes?
They don't appear to be questions, so shouldn't end with a question mark.
Duane
Comment Written 16-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
-
thanks for the comments Duane
Comment from words
I do agree.
We make the same mistakes, over and over and yet, over again:ith age,
What's left but the children?
Their hopes, dreams and welfare,
A road forword to navigate,
No consequence to race or color,
Governments revert...... lesson.
Watch your children play.
Leave then to study history?
We continue to make the same mistakes?
Learn from evolution.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
|
I do agree.
We make the same mistakes, over and over and yet, over again:ith age,
What's left but the children?
Their hopes, dreams and welfare,
A road forword to navigate,
No consequence to race or color,
Governments revert...... lesson.
Watch your children play.
Leave then to study history?
We continue to make the same mistakes?
Learn from evolution.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
-
thank you words for your review and comments
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Gary,
A lot of wisdom in your words. Before I forget you don't need a question mark after "mistakes" as it doesn't ask a question but rather states a fact. Good poem with a wonderful message. chey
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
|
Hi Gary,
A lot of wisdom in your words. Before I forget you don't need a question mark after "mistakes" as it doesn't ask a question but rather states a fact. Good poem with a wonderful message. chey
Comment Written 16-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
-
thank you Chey for the review and comments i will be back from offshore next week and get my life back
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, i enjoyed reading this very much, we need to teach children so history doesn't repeat itself. great job
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
|
this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, i enjoyed reading this very much, we need to teach children so history doesn't repeat itself. great job
Comment Written 16-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
-
thank you sweet
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a nice little piece of reflective poetry about posterity and history. Indeed, nothing is as important as our children and so no effort should be spared in giving them the best of everything. kudos
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
|
This is a nice little piece of reflective poetry about posterity and history. Indeed, nothing is as important as our children and so no effort should be spared in giving them the best of everything. kudos
Comment Written 16-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
-
Thank you for this review Perp
Comment from wierdgrace
you are so right, and I loved the way you showed it, with the picture, and how you said it, well done, and I agree with all of it. thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
|
you are so right, and I loved the way you showed it, with the picture, and how you said it, well done, and I agree with all of it. thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
-
thank you wierdgrace for this review and your comments Gary
-
always welcome
Comment from connied
Let the children play.... And watch.
Leave us our hopes and dreams,
With age.
Yes--seems like we got it backwards doesn't it--they can teach alot about tolerance
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
|
Let the children play.... And watch.
Leave us our hopes and dreams,
With age.
Yes--seems like we got it backwards doesn't it--they can teach alot about tolerance
Comment Written 16-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
-
thank you connied for this review Gary
Comment from gabriowl
Hmm. A pensive write, this one. I totally agree that we have to let the children play. When the children play, then we are reminded too of our own child-like nature. And we have to keep that child within us active even in adulthood or old age... it's really called being in the present or the moment, but kids would just call it "having fun."
One of your best lines in my opinion is "Governments revert... lesson" - We cannot issue edicts from the top down that attempt to create the "perfect" conditions for children. All we wind up doing is screwing up the evolutionary process of nature. Your words are so true!
Also, we should unite in family, but also celebrate the generation gap, instead of curse it. That means that we have respect for the past steps of our elders that brought us to today. As a result of that respect, there's not always this "King of the Hill" mentality, where "I'm gonna stay on top until the day I die" is not the rule that governs the game.
A couple of technical notes. Should 'foreword' by 'forward' ? I like the image of it being the prelude to a book, but I don't know if that was intentional?
Also, "We continue to make the same mistakes" doesn't strike me as a question. Maybe a period or ellipse instead?
A great write. Keep it up, because I look forward to more! Good day to you.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
|
Hmm. A pensive write, this one. I totally agree that we have to let the children play. When the children play, then we are reminded too of our own child-like nature. And we have to keep that child within us active even in adulthood or old age... it's really called being in the present or the moment, but kids would just call it "having fun."
One of your best lines in my opinion is "Governments revert... lesson" - We cannot issue edicts from the top down that attempt to create the "perfect" conditions for children. All we wind up doing is screwing up the evolutionary process of nature. Your words are so true!
Also, we should unite in family, but also celebrate the generation gap, instead of curse it. That means that we have respect for the past steps of our elders that brought us to today. As a result of that respect, there's not always this "King of the Hill" mentality, where "I'm gonna stay on top until the day I die" is not the rule that governs the game.
A couple of technical notes. Should 'foreword' by 'forward' ? I like the image of it being the prelude to a book, but I don't know if that was intentional?
Also, "We continue to make the same mistakes" doesn't strike me as a question. Maybe a period or ellipse instead?
A great write. Keep it up, because I look forward to more! Good day to you.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
-
thank you for the comments Gabriowl and for this review
Comment from LadyWave
Your poem is so true. You always speak so honestly and so thoughtfully. We can learn so much from watching children. They still have the innocence that many people direly need in their lives.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
|
Your poem is so true. You always speak so honestly and so thoughtfully. We can learn so much from watching children. They still have the innocence that many people direly need in their lives.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
-
thank you for this Review Lady W and the comment
Comment from BLACKDYKE
Aaaah such a wise message in this deep' and so many more the more I read it. wisdom comes from learning from mistakes, happiness comes from letting children run. A great little write. Eric
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
|
Aaaah such a wise message in this deep' and so many more the more I read it. wisdom comes from learning from mistakes, happiness comes from letting children run. A great little write. Eric
Comment Written 16-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2010
-
thank you for this review Eric
