Scattered Like My Thoughts
My thoughts are scattered and they're cloudy.89 total reviews
Comment from DR DIP
Interesting interpretation, nearly a haiku in form uses the metaphor of rain clouds
As a saviour against the heat. Looking frantically for relief. The tongue searches for quenching relief. Nice write
good luck in the contest by the way.
dip
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Interesting interpretation, nearly a haiku in form uses the metaphor of rain clouds
As a saviour against the heat. Looking frantically for relief. The tongue searches for quenching relief. Nice write
good luck in the contest by the way.
dip
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Yes, Dip, when I left my house one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I was struck by the beauty and promise of these clouds. I took this picture and began composing my poem on my iPhone as I walked. I finished it by the time I arrived home. Unfortunately, the scattered showers did not fall on me.
Yes, my poem is nearly a haiku, but sense I used the past tense and referred to myself, some purists might describe this as a senryu. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Andre.
A wonderful little effort and very well said. I feel exactly the same way sometimes.
I have to amit that I have written one or two of these and they were the worst ever lol.
This is a really good contest entry and I wish you the best of luck with it.
Well done.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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G'day Andre.
A wonderful little effort and very well said. I feel exactly the same way sometimes.
I have to amit that I have written one or two of these and they were the worst ever lol.
This is a really good contest entry and I wish you the best of luck with it.
Well done.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Fez. When I left my house one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I was struck by the beauty and promise of these clouds. I took this picture and began composing my poem on my iPhone as I walked. I finished it by the time I arrived home. Unfortunately, the scattered showers did not fall on me. Thank you for your review and for wishing me well in the contest. Keep writing them. You'll improve.
Comment from lalajovanoski
Hello friend I really enjoyed reading your 575 and I think that this is a good entry for the contest good luck to you. I like the structure and the flow is very smooth period thank you very much for sharing this God bless you love la la
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Hello friend I really enjoyed reading your 575 and I think that this is a good entry for the contest good luck to you. I like the structure and the flow is very smooth period thank you very much for sharing this God bless you love la la
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, lalajovanoski, for your review. I am glad you enjoyed my 5-7-5. Thanks also for wishing me well in the contest. God bless you, too.
Comment from rjuselius
this is an exceptional piece of poetry dear andre! i love the personification as it brings life to the poem in a sorted way. the satori is adorable.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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this is an exceptional piece of poetry dear andre! i love the personification as it brings life to the poem in a sorted way. the satori is adorable.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Rebekka, for your review, blessings, and big squeeze. I appreciate them all!
Comment from marybell1
I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 poem "Scattered Like My Thoughts". You followed all them rules for this genre, and you took a very appropriate photo.
All the best
Marybell1.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 poem "Scattered Like My Thoughts". You followed all them rules for this genre, and you took a very appropriate photo.
All the best
Marybell1.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Marybell1, for your generous review. I walked out the door one morning to walk my dog during a heatwave before it got too hot when I spotted these tantalizing clouds in the air. I stopped what I was doing to take this picture and then resumed my walk, composing my poem in my head. By the time I arrived home, I finished my poem. Thanks.
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You are most welcome. I do my best work when I am not trying. It seems to flow better then
Cheers
Marybell1.
Comment from Leena
Absolutely wonderful! Each line so well connected to the next, not just in structure, but in meaning too. A perfectly adorable 5-7-5. Good luck for the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Absolutely wonderful! Each line so well connected to the next, not just in structure, but in meaning too. A perfectly adorable 5-7-5. Good luck for the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Leena, for giving my 5-7-5 its first six star review. I am glad you found it absolutely wonderful. Thank you, too, for wishing me success in the contest.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks the state of thoughts at anomalous scattered stand to begin a series of exposition in letters and words that would like to be expressed orally for satisfaction; I liked.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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This speaks the state of thoughts at anomalous scattered stand to begin a series of exposition in letters and words that would like to be expressed orally for satisfaction; I liked.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Alcreator Litt Dear, for your thorough and intuitive review of my poem on scattered thoughts. I appreciate it.
Comment from c_lucas
An a fart to clear the gas lines. Life moves on. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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An a fart to clear the gas lines. Life moves on. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Thank you, C_Lucas, for your review and for wishing me success in the contest. I appreciate your encouraging review.
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It is my pleasure to aid some one of your talent.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is a very well penned 5-7-5. Proper syllable count. It has been so dry here, my grass is waiting for every raindrop as well. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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This is a very well penned 5-7-5. Proper syllable count. It has been so dry here, my grass is waiting for every raindrop as well. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Yes, Debbie, here in California we went from extremes of too much rain to too much sun. When I walked out my door during a heatwave and saw these clouds in the sky my tongue salivated. Thank you for giving my 5-7-5 its first review and for wishing me contest success.
