Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

Wow... now there's the definition of detached and disengaged, yeah? The only thing that would have made it even more so is if she would have stared through you.. :/ Great evocation with but those few syllables that you do so well, Mark! ;) Thanx, as always, for sharing your pen! ;)

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025

Thanks Yvette for such a warming review! In hindsight, I hope the woman depicted was not overdosed. However, the person looking her way may have been too detached and not been brave enough to take the first step in the relationship (-;

I am pleasantly surprised at the support and different interpretations other reviewers have cited.

Mark

Mark

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This senryu, Yearning for Companionship, has the proper formatting and seems to indicate that the "yearning" does not include the poet, who is "oblivious" to her.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025

Bill,

It was not me who was doing the yearning. My mythical person has tried before but without success LOL

Mark

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Good artwork and nice presentation, Mark.
-A well written poem with a good topic.
-A very good opening line sets the scene.
-You do a good job describing this woman
who has no interest in the person who
has expressed an interest.
-Very well done.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025

Thanks for your generous words for my poem. Your read is likely correct about her interest.

Mark

Comment from Father Flaps

Excellent

Hi Mark,
You tell a sad story here in just 3 short lines. He is infatuated with this woman, but she is lost in deep thought and somewhat distressed. She takes no note of him. He is far beneath her thoughts. Perhaps, she is pining for someone who treats her the very same way she is treating this poor man... without a second thought. She has run amok with her eyes wide open. Perplexed. Hopeless, as will be his admiration.
Nicely penned!
Cheers,
Kimbob

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025

Kimbob,

Interesting viewpoint you expressed for this poem. My guess he is more interested (infatuated?) with her than the reverse. Or is she too oblivious to recognize his yearning? (-;

Mark

Comment from Pamusart

Excellent

Hi Mark

Hmmm is she oblivious to your looks because she is staring into space or because she already saw you and it's not interested

Either way it hurts. I know it hurts.

Great job. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025

It was a mythical person I wrote about. In my mind, she is just oblivious to the possibility of any relationship.

Mark

Comment from Claire Tennant

Excellent

This is an imagination spinner. It is a realistic portrayal in a lot of cases. I love the picture you chose; it speaks volumes. The rhythm and the choice of words tell a beautiful, if not a sad, story. I wish you well in the contest.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025

Claire,

Thank you for your interpretation for this poem. Since I use FanArt illustrations for almost all my posts, I can take only a small credit for the images of my overall presentation that entertained you.

I write mostly 5-7-5 syllabled lines. Longer ones are not in my poetry wheelhouse.

Mark

Comment from Marilyn Hamilton

Excellent

Mark, you paint a compelling picture with your words and leave us with a feeling of lonliness and isolation. Nice artwork to add to your presentation. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2025

Thanks Marilyn for your support for this post. Your read is accurate.

Mark

Comment from tempeste

Exceptional

I love this moment in time..

She is unaware of being the interest of another in the room ..

Will he find the courage to make his move and introduce himself

will she brush him off or reward him a smile and start talking

I just love imagining all the possible outcomes.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2025

Thanks,

Pleased with your response to this post.

Mark

Comment from June Sargent

Excellent

That's so sad! Oblivious to his stolen glances. You've successfully captured the bittersweet feeling of love from a distance. Maybe he should make a move?

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2025

June,

I like your idea about the next move (-;

Mark

Comment from karenina

Excellent

Nice Senryu! You leave it up to the reader to wonder where her mind is...
That image gives us many options. Is she bored? Day dreaming? Sad?
I'm captivated wondering... Mysterious! You've caught my attention with this one!

Karenina

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2025

Thanks Karenina!

I found my choices were limited on my go to FanArt selection. So, I chose one with a woman who appears bored with her situation. No wonder the guy had no chance.

Mark

reply by karenina on 20-Jan-2025

Hmm. Thanks for the insight! (Appearing bored could be a ruse)

Smile....