Detour
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Nothing's What It Seems (Hargis)"Two very real women in not so real situation.
22 total reviews
Comment from Michele Harber
This is very well written, with a lovely touch of humor. In fact, your knowing the intended use of the corncobs enables you to set up the joke sooner than Rachelle was able to in her version, as she had to find out "after the fact."
The "I just did a face plant and ended up with my dress over my head in the mud, if there is anything these people haven't see, it's a miracle," line also made me laugh. And I certainly caught the irony, as you did, in her singing "If They Could See Me Now."
I had to smile at your last line: "But, I wonder who will address the elephant in room." I'm continuing to enjoy this story, from both sides, and am catching up as quickly as I can.
Just a few quick proofing points:
- "leaving Rachelle and I alone" should be "leaving Rachelle and me alone."
- "But when I met Ezra, well, I decide to give that world up," should say "decided," as the first part of the sentence is in the past tense.
- "the elephant in room" should say "the elephant in the room."
There are also a few run-on sentences. Please let me know if it's worth your while for me to do that specific a proofing job.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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This is very well written, with a lovely touch of humor. In fact, your knowing the intended use of the corncobs enables you to set up the joke sooner than Rachelle was able to in her version, as she had to find out "after the fact."
The "I just did a face plant and ended up with my dress over my head in the mud, if there is anything these people haven't see, it's a miracle," line also made me laugh. And I certainly caught the irony, as you did, in her singing "If They Could See Me Now."
I had to smile at your last line: "But, I wonder who will address the elephant in room." I'm continuing to enjoy this story, from both sides, and am catching up as quickly as I can.
Just a few quick proofing points:
- "leaving Rachelle and I alone" should be "leaving Rachelle and me alone."
- "But when I met Ezra, well, I decide to give that world up," should say "decided," as the first part of the sentence is in the past tense.
- "the elephant in room" should say "the elephant in the room."
There are also a few run-on sentences. Please let me know if it's worth your while for me to do that specific a proofing job.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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I love getting feedback and editing. I think and write at the same time. I try to catch as much as I can but miss a lot. This is super helpful. I thank you fir the excellent review and the edits. Gretchen
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You're very welcome. I'm always happy to help. That's one of the ways that Rachelle and I got to know each other. I used to make proofing notes in my reviews, and we graduated to my professionally proofing work she intended to publish.
Comment from Neonewman
Omg! I can picture Rachelle walking up with those corn cob rollers in her hair, still thinking they are rollers. I'm laughing so hard it's hard to write this review. I love the two tales between you ladies.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024
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Omg! I can picture Rachelle walking up with those corn cob rollers in her hair, still thinking they are rollers. I'm laughing so hard it's hard to write this review. I love the two tales between you ladies.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024
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Thanks so much, Steve. It's been a blast to write. Gretchen
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My pleasure, Gretchen.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
In Background - "ill fated" should be ill-fated.
Believe "If They could See Me Now" is probably supposed to be If My Friends Could See Me Now from the Broadway Musical Sweet Charity.
Amish toilet paper for curlers. A good laugh, no doubt.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024
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In Background - "ill fated" should be ill-fated.
Believe "If They could See Me Now" is probably supposed to be If My Friends Could See Me Now from the Broadway Musical Sweet Charity.
Amish toilet paper for curlers. A good laugh, no doubt.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024
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Thanks so much, Brett. Gretchen
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Gretchen,
this was great. I'm rather happy that we couldn't grow corn when I lived on the farm. As it was, we didn't have TP unless we purchased it ourselves. Once a week one of the elders who ran the boat would go to town and pick up the newspapers that didn't sell from one of the stores. He would bring them home and one of the old ladies and the pre-school kids cut them into squares and put them into decorated #10 cans which were in the outhouses. Obviously, newspaper wouldn't work for curlers. Great imagination gal. Well done.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024
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Hello Gretchen,
this was great. I'm rather happy that we couldn't grow corn when I lived on the farm. As it was, we didn't have TP unless we purchased it ourselves. Once a week one of the elders who ran the boat would go to town and pick up the newspapers that didn't sell from one of the stores. He would bring them home and one of the old ladies and the pre-school kids cut them into squares and put them into decorated #10 cans which were in the outhouses. Obviously, newspaper wouldn't work for curlers. Great imagination gal. Well done.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 17-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2024
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Thank you. The curlers were Rachelle's idea. Lol. Glad you could enjoy this. Gretchen
Comment from LJbutterfly
This episode is well written and hilarious. It also pairs perfectly with Rachelle's version of the day, even though you give a different perspective. I love your descriptive style of writing which helps me envision each scene. I look forward to your next chapter.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
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This episode is well written and hilarious. It also pairs perfectly with Rachelle's version of the day, even though you give a different perspective. I love your descriptive style of writing which helps me envision each scene. I look forward to your next chapter.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Gretchen
Comment from Jim Wile
This continues to be such a fun story, Gretchen. We get to see a slightly softer, more reflective side of you in this chapter as you discuss life with the neo-Amish Helene. But then we get to see your sardonically humorous side with your reaction to Rachelle's makeshift use of the corncobs. What a great story this trip is making.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
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This continues to be such a fun story, Gretchen. We get to see a slightly softer, more reflective side of you in this chapter as you discuss life with the neo-Amish Helene. But then we get to see your sardonically humorous side with your reaction to Rachelle's makeshift use of the corncobs. What a great story this trip is making.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
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Humor is my go to. Gets me through a lot of unpleasant times. Thank you, Jim. Gretchen
Comment from Sanku
Very delightful and made me smile and laugh especially when I read about the 'curlers'.. It wouldbe interesting to know how these two will adjust tolife with Amish...
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
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Very delightful and made me smile and laugh especially when I read about the 'curlers'.. It wouldbe interesting to know how these two will adjust tolife with Amish...
Comment Written 17-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
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I'd worry about the Amish adjusting to us. Lol. Thank you so much. Gretchen
Comment from F. William Lester
I thought this was hilarious. I can only imagine what would be going through their mind when Rachelle showed up in those "curlers." Nice work and very funny. Thanks for sharing it. Stay well.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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I thought this was hilarious. I can only imagine what would be going through their mind when Rachelle showed up in those "curlers." Nice work and very funny. Thanks for sharing it. Stay well.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you. I'm glad you are enjoying this. Gretchen
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My pleasure.
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very delightful and fun read. I was that met with a face full of laughter and a big grin on my face as well. I wish you the very best with this recording. It is a lot of fun to listen to. Patricia.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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This is a very delightful and fun read. I was that met with a face full of laughter and a big grin on my face as well. I wish you the very best with this recording. It is a lot of fun to listen to. Patricia.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Thank you for the extra star. Gretchen
Comment from lyenochka
I did read Rachelle's version and had fun imagining what that even looked like. But I would imagine the shock and amusement for the poor host family. They'll probably be talking about that for a long time.
I liked your sensitivity in probing what it was like for Helene to adjust to Amish life.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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I did read Rachelle's version and had fun imagining what that even looked like. But I would imagine the shock and amusement for the poor host family. They'll probably be talking about that for a long time.
I liked your sensitivity in probing what it was like for Helene to adjust to Amish life.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Gretchen