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Unfinished Brushstrokes

Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Unfinished Brushstrokes Chap 13"
story of love, loss, new beginnings and secrets.

16 total reviews 
Comment from BOO ghost
Excellent
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Deep inside her thoughts, she could hear Eleanor telling her each new sunrise was a fresh beginning --" I like that! A good way of looking at life. The character list is helpful, ever since I just jumped in!
She shared her work but under an alias. She is a mysterious woman. Why an alias? A sudden chill swept through the room and Jenna felt something knock the bowl from her hand. Instantly, she knew it was Eleanor. Oh, she's a ghost? Reads smooth, and I haven't noticed any errors thus far! Continue reading...You can think of me whenever you see a butterfly or a bright red cardinal." This is interesting. Reading...As he headed for his car, he heard Lydia's door slam. He chuckled, knowing he'd ruffled her feathers. The inconsistencies in Lydia's and Margaret's stories made him wonder what they weren't telling him. Seems like Lydia and Margaret know something that they're not telling the detective.
Maybe a smokescreen of some sort. Looks like the stories are conflicting. The detective smells a dirty rat! I'm curious about the boyfriend? I'm a late bloomer in this story, just trying to connect the dots. Right. I missed the previous chapters keeping me in the dark, let me read the next chapter. BOO likes ghost stories! Out of sixes.

BOO!

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 20-Jul-2024
    It's difficult to jump into a story and know what's happening and who is who, but I applaud your efforts. Thank you so much for giving it a shot!
    Told you my ghosts aren't evil, but actually in the last story there were good and bad ghosts... I am a fledgling at ghost stories so I write as it comes to me. Hope you enjoyed.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
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Now that Donatelli knows there is a relationship between Margaret and Judge Doyle, he is asking shrewd questions to catch Margaret and Lydia in lies. I'm glad Jenna has a possible new friend in Helen. Great chapter.

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
    I think Helen has a lot to share with Jenna. And the Judge is about to get caught up in his corrupt life.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
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I think you left out a word in the sentence: she (held) some things close to her heart. Otherwise, your writing is perfect, as usual. You're doing an excellent job with this new ghost story.

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
    Hello April...Glad to be back at last and see all the wonderful things you have to say about the story. I've got a lot of catching up to do. Appreciate you as always.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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I thought Donatelli was his last name; but now, I've decided Donatelli must be his first name since his last name must surely be Columbo. "Oh, just one more thing . . ." Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
    You are the second person to suggest Columbo... one of my least favorite detectives. He always got his crimals but soemtimes I wondered how.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I like the contrasts in this chapter as you move from one part to the next. I think I'm going to like Helen! I hope hers isn't just a cameo appearance! My mother-in-law was a nurse in the war - casualty clearing station in the Middle East - and just as sweet as your two characters here.
A coupe of suggestions:
Those who knew, which were few, never revealed it. Maybe tighten: The few who knew...
I thought I knew her well, but she (had) some things

That Donatelli is a sharp cookie. No pulling the wool over his eyes!

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
    Wow...Thanks so much for the awesome review and the stars. I apologize for the delay but Mother Nature played a nasty trick on me and it took a while to recover. Thanks agian.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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Shocker! The Judge is exposed because Lydia and Margaret couldn't keep their stories straight! It didn't take much to "confluster" Lydia. (LOL)

I'm glad Eleanor has enlisted the help of her friend Helen... (I'm enjoying who she'd revealing herself to -- and Helen seems to be a "deputy-mortal" to help out the ghost!

Karenina

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
    Helen and Eleanor were very close and she shared so much with her so she couldn't imagine a better person to share with Jenna.
    Smiles, Carol
reply by karenina on 19-Jul-2024
    Good call! Helen and Jenna were her earthly touchstones!
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
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Hi Carol!
I'm behind as usual, so went for the last chapter.
We meet Helen here who is able to meet with Jenna and give her some comfort. How cool!!

Lydia meets with Donatello and he grills her over her supposed time spent with Margaret.

Hugs,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
    Don't feel bad...No power for five days and a mess from the tornado so I'm really behind. Doing my best to catch up and get writing again.
    Smiles, Carol
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 20-Jul-2024
    Oh no!!!!! I hadn't heard you had bad weather!! Is everyone okay? What state do you live in? We had a hurricane here in Texas that hit my nieces straight on. They were without power for about a week.

    Many hugs,
    Rhonda
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2024
    Illinois...had 92 mph wind. Snapped off all the trees in the area. Sticks everywhere now. Lucky the house was not damaged but five days without power or electricity.
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 20-Jul-2024
    Oh my gosh!!!! That's a scary storm!!!! Glad you're all safe!
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 20-Jul-2024
    Oh my gosh!!!! That's a scary storm!!!! Glad you're all safe!
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Oh, a character named "Helen" - how fun! And one that isn't a horse like in Humpwhistle's stories. Lol.
I'm glad that Eleanor's friend can help deliver the letters and Jenna can piece together more of Eleanor's life and now she has letters to share with Dylan!

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
    And Helen is a wonderful person with a heart of gold who Eleanor entrusted so much too. Just like another Helen I know.
    Smiles, Carol
reply by lyenochka on 19-Jul-2024
    Thank you! 😊💖
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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The tension eases up a little with the lovely visit of Margaret to Jenna, who needs a friend. Then it starts heating up again as Donatelli interviews Margaret's friend and realizes she is not very truthful. Good idea to ease up and then start tightening the screws again.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
    Yes, I always like to give the reader a little breather and then bang! there it is again. Thanks so much for enjoying.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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Another super chapter, and I am pleased Eleanor is looking out for Jenna. I was wondering how old Jenna is, as Helen said "Nonsense, child". I am presuming a quite young woman? Margaret and Lydia didn't have much time to get their stories right - and it shows. Donatelli knows he's onto something now, betweeen Margaret and the judge. Very well written.
Wendy

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
    I think that was just Eleanor's way of talking. She has very close feelings for Jenna and it was an endearing way of talking.
    smiles, Carol