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His Silence

Viewing comments for Prologue "His Silence - Prologue"
Why did a 14 year old boy murder his parents?

7 total reviews 
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
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Jacob,

This is great. I was under the impression that Oliver killed Danielle's parents, but i'm guessing it was her brother. The plot thickens. I have to go find other chapters of this so I can totally get a clue.

Great job.

Cecilia

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Cecilla, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from LJbutterfly
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This is a captivating beginning of a book. Even though we can surmise what has taken place with Harvey, and why the police are at the house, what happens next is one of the mysteries. You wisely start the story with the reader in the middle of the action. I wish you much success on your novel writing journey.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
    Thank you, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
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If I read this right, and it is from the little sister's point of view, it seems Harvey either on his own or with someone else murdered his mother (and guessing by his remarks, also his father), with a hint that the mother had a habit of 'moaning' if the little sister messed up the bedsheets, and for some reason Harvey says a new family would be better for her and would let her have pizza every night. Even though I wouldn't mind pizza four times a week, I don't know what the deal is with him thinking pizza would be better every day. The more revealing line is this one: They're going to love you; they'll be kind to you. Favorite line: A loud noise makes me jump, like the sound foxes make in the dark.
I think it might make more sense like this:
A loud noise, like the sound foxes make in the dark, makes me jump,

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
    Yes it's from the sister's perspective. Thank you, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
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You're busy, Jacob! I hope you're still going to finish The Fix? This is different, full of childhood anguish and fear. But we don't know why and you leave us on a giant hook at the end. Your prologue sets the scene for a very emotional and heart-breaking story to unfold. The police are already involved and the protagonist is being separated from the brother she adores. And where are the parents? I definitely want to know more. Well done! Take care Debbie

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
    Thank you Debbie, yes I am still going to finish The Fix but this is what I've also been working on recently. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Pamusart
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Hi, Jacob

Wow, this chapter is very intense. I don't think I've read any other chapters in this book.

It sounds like her parents have been killed and the question is whether Harvey did it or not

I think the police think so because they took him away.

What a thriller full of suspense. I hope I get to read some of your future chapters

Here, ditch, the ' and he's. He got out of bed
Or He's out of bed

" . He's got out of bed too early"

Wasn't the white witch a good witch? I doubt she would cackle if she's a good witch.

" think of the White Witch, cackling with laughter; I "

I enjoyed reading your book chapter

Good job. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
    The White Witch was the villain in the Chronicles of Narnia series. Thank you for your feedback, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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Harvey murdered his parents, to protect his little sister. I can't wait to read more. I am guessing there's a lot more to this story and I can't wait to read it. This is another good job of writing.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
    Thank you Barbara, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
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You're starting another book. I want to read it. I 'm sure it willl be good.I don't know why this child is being taken from her home or why the police are there but I'm sure I'll find out. I hope you will be continuing the other book as well.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
    Thank you Beth, yes I'm still continuing with The Fix as well. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.