Reviews from

Willing Hearts

Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Chapter 16 B"
Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?

30 total reviews 
Comment from Paul McFarland
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Very good post, Barb. It's good to have a chapter that is free from conflict every once in awhile. We must be getting close to the end now. Hopefully, everybody will get to the end safely.

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
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Awwww, what a sweet chapter!! Sami gets a rare chance to get away and visit with her family! This chapter is a great chance to get relief from all the trying times they've all spent locked up in the safe house.

Chances are, Sarah is pregnant. We learn in the last chapter that Sarah lost a baby when it was very young. They had decided to wait to have another one, but it seems God intervened.

Very warm and sweet chapter,
Hugs,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate you dropping by when no moneys attached.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
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Sounds Like Noah may be getting tired of Sami's protective custody routine.

"impossible" to "obstinate" all good designations of Sami.

"backseat seat" - seat is redundant and could be omitted.

The outing was special for Sami.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
    Thank you for the catch. I always amazes me how many times I edit and missed it. Also, how many reviews, I've gotten and nobody else caught it. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
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Another fun fill chapter. I'm glad Sami got to spend some time with her family. In a way I'm happy Sami will get her freedom back but I wonder what will happen with Noah.

Well done!

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
    I am betting Noah has a plan. Maybe??? Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
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That was nice. Noah is a softie at times. I'm glad she was able to spend some time with her father on father's day. And I'm glad she stood her ground with Galvin, I think he admired her for that. Now, is Sarah pregnant? We'll soon find out. Another nice chapter, Barbara, well done. :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. Yes, Noah has a soft side, at least for Sami.
Comment from Daylily
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a very warm hearted chapter that I enjoyed very much.
Smiles and hugs, Lily

This sentence might need a little tweaking:
"Good point." Sami crawled in the backseat seat beside Bob while Sarah waited, and then sat beside her. --- ??? crawled into the backseat beside Bob....

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
    Made that correction. I appreciate the catch.
Comment from lancellot
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Your YA romance seems to be moving along your scheduled route. Your female protagonist, your male protagonist and background characters are performing the expected way, according to your tried and tested formula. Your dialogue and editing are good.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Shanbreen
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A story is a good read when it keeps the interest going. Your story does.

A few minor points to consider:

In the para below:
John walked over to Sami and offered his hand. "Sorry girls, but I've missed Sami. I can dance with you girls every day and do at our Sunday dinners. I can't with her right now."
What does "...right now", mean? He could dance with her on his birthday. Couldn't he? I think what you are trying to say that he only has this one chance to dance with her.

Also, "How upset's Noah?" asked Sami. Shouldn't you spell out the contraction to state "How upset IS Noah?"

One more thing: Noah faced his team. "Please remind me never to allow Sami and Galvin to be alone again."
Would he really say that? He has to be reminded? I can understand him letting his team know not to let that happen. He doesn't have to be reminded.

Well-done.


 Comment Written 06-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
    Sami is in protective custody. This is his only opportunity to dance with her until she's released. I think in both areas it's okay. Sami would use the contraction and in the last one, Noah was being sarcastic to make his point. Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. I do appreciate the points. It caused me to rethink each area.
reply by Shanbreen on 07-Aug-2024
    Got it.
Comment from patcelaw
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This is extremely well written and presented chapter to your book. I enjoyed listening to it very much. I wish you the very best and the contest that you enter and I also wish you a very good week. Patricia.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate you so much. HUGS!!
Comment from T B Botts
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Hello Barbara,
its nice that Sami got to spend some time with her family. I can only imagine that protective custody could be very wearing on a person, so the chance to have a few minutes of normalcy would be refreshing. Thanks for sharing this gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
    Noah does what he can for Sami. Thank you for the kind review.