Spirited Justice
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Spirited Justice Chap 5"Mystery, crime and ghostly high jinks
14 total reviews
Comment from BOO ghost
BOO is reading...appears that you found your prose via your documents? You like Chinese, right? Hope so, because that's what I ordered." BOO fancies Chinese. Matthew spun his chair around at the sound of the woman's voice and groaned. "Eleanor! Are you guys teaming up on me?" Two ghosts, home sweet home!
Danni frowned at Eleanor. "I'm not a newbie anymore. I can do this without you looking over my shoulder. It's not that I don't love you, but I need to prove myself." Even ghosts bicker.
The sun was setting, and a cool breeze drifted across the veranda. Carlos had suggested they sit outside and enjoy the view while they talked. Like this mini paragraph, oh, Americans want to visit Mexico but not live there!
The prose is well written. Not much I can suggest. Every writer is unique. Entertaining read!
BOO!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
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BOO is reading...appears that you found your prose via your documents? You like Chinese, right? Hope so, because that's what I ordered." BOO fancies Chinese. Matthew spun his chair around at the sound of the woman's voice and groaned. "Eleanor! Are you guys teaming up on me?" Two ghosts, home sweet home!
Danni frowned at Eleanor. "I'm not a newbie anymore. I can do this without you looking over my shoulder. It's not that I don't love you, but I need to prove myself." Even ghosts bicker.
The sun was setting, and a cool breeze drifted across the veranda. Carlos had suggested they sit outside and enjoy the view while they talked. Like this mini paragraph, oh, Americans want to visit Mexico but not live there!
The prose is well written. Not much I can suggest. Every writer is unique. Entertaining read!
BOO!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
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Nope...missing chapters are lost in the gone forever clouds.... but I put my brain in gear again and wrote another chapter. That's what we do as writers, right? Yes...two ghosts are always better than one! Well, technically I have three because you are always part of the story. LOL
Thanks so much as always, Boo! You put a smile on my face.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
Lots of good dialogue that moves the story forward. Who is Frank? Will he figure prominently later? If not, you could probably remove him from this scene. Hugs! Carol
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
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Lots of good dialogue that moves the story forward. Who is Frank? Will he figure prominently later? If not, you could probably remove him from this scene. Hugs! Carol
Comment Written 08-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
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Frank was just another officer who saw the food guy first,letting Donatelli know that he was there. No one too important. Thanks for the review and enjoying the story.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
It looks like Naomi's in a spot of danger, because she knows more that she should as Carlos Hernandez is concerned, but only if she keeps her mouth closed, it looks like Jose is a bit of an idiot and a playboy, beautifully written Carol, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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It looks like Naomi's in a spot of danger, because she knows more that she should as Carlos Hernandez is concerned, but only if she keeps her mouth closed, it looks like Jose is a bit of an idiot and a playboy, beautifully written Carol, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Yes, Naomi played with fire (not by her own choosing) and now she might get burnt. And burning bridges between Donatelli and her won't help either. Jose is one to watch! He's a spoiled rich kid who thinks he should stretch his wings, expecting daddy to save him again if anything goes wrong.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
I'm glad Eleanor pops in and out to assist Danni and Matthew and keep them from wasting time bickering. The story is taking on a new flavor with the introduction of Carlos and Jose Hernandez in Mexico. Naomi is mixed up with some very nasty guys.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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I'm glad Eleanor pops in and out to assist Danni and Matthew and keep them from wasting time bickering. The story is taking on a new flavor with the introduction of Carlos and Jose Hernandez in Mexico. Naomi is mixed up with some very nasty guys.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Danni's not to happy to see Eleanor because she wants the stage to be her, but she is well aware of how good Eleanor is at what she does. Yes, Jose and Carlos will be two people to watch...each with their own agenda.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Good for Eleanor to come and help out with the personality conflict between Danni and Donatelli. I think Donatelli should be grateful for all the help.
It seems that there are much bigger bad guys involved and perhaps Naomi should be nicer to Donatelli who might be able to help her!
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Good for Eleanor to come and help out with the personality conflict between Danni and Donatelli. I think Donatelli should be grateful for all the help.
It seems that there are much bigger bad guys involved and perhaps Naomi should be nicer to Donatelli who might be able to help her!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Naomi needs to come clean or she might not have the chance, but for now I don't see that happening. And Eleanor, our beloved detective, can't seem to remain in an Advisor position. Danni feels like Eleanor is trying to limit her but of course that's not true. Should be interesting!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Now you seem back on track and writing again. Hope that's the case. Interesting chapter. Are we moving into Cartel territory in Mexico? Should be intriguing either way. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Now you seem back on track and writing again. Hope that's the case. Interesting chapter. Are we moving into Cartel territory in Mexico? Should be intriguing either way. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Carlos has power i his country, but mainly he is concerned with keeping his son, Jose, out of trouble...which is difficult. Jose has always been a rich playboy, but unknown to his father he has been stretching his wings. thanks so much, Marilyn.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I would not like to be beholden to a person like Carlos. Money and power shouldn't be allowed to go together. But it does. And Angelo could be dead at a flick on Calos's fingers. Now he has to convince Naomi to say nothing!! How is he going to do that?
I love how Eleanor flits in and out, disturbing Donatelli, but she can learn more than him. Danni is the same. She could learn from Eleanor too. (I think!!) One thing you are really good at is using dialogue to show not tell, which is a talent in itself. Did you find those lost chapters or is one fresh for the authors great mind? Well done, my friend. I can't fault your writing at all. Love and hugs. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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I would not like to be beholden to a person like Carlos. Money and power shouldn't be allowed to go together. But it does. And Angelo could be dead at a flick on Calos's fingers. Now he has to convince Naomi to say nothing!! How is he going to do that?
I love how Eleanor flits in and out, disturbing Donatelli, but she can learn more than him. Danni is the same. She could learn from Eleanor too. (I think!!) One thing you are really good at is using dialogue to show not tell, which is a talent in itself. Did you find those lost chapters or is one fresh for the authors great mind? Well done, my friend. I can't fault your writing at all. Love and hugs. Sandra xx
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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This one was dug from the cobwebs and cracking corridor walls of my mind. I knew Danni and Mathew had to sit down and discuss things and that the reader was looking for Eleanor's entrance again so that's where this came from. Because the ghosts seem to be the biggest draw in the story I am trying to put their appearances in as often as I can. Angelo may be a bit on the crooked side, but he never expected to be asked to kill someone...guess he now knows how deep he really is in. He has a soft spot for Naomi so it will be difficult for him.
Thanks for the kindness you always share with me. I think a few might be bored with another story of ghosts and crime. I hope not. It's just getting started and its difficult to put all the ducks in a row within a couple of chapters. I pray they will hang in there still.
Off to burn some more trees, pull som,e more weeds and then go to town and see if I can find the "tenants" who are doing me.... thanks, Dad for the generous gift of spending money and not getting a return. Ugh!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Naomi is in danger. I am hoping Matthew can protect her. I feel a slight international influence here. LOL Will my hero be entering this one too?
Keep an eye on your dialogue.
Spying his billfold on the corner of the desk, she grinned, "Sure thing!" (grinned.)
Setting the bags on the desk, he motioned toward them, "Let's eat." (them.)
Now, can I have the Jack Daniels?" (NO YOU CAN'T)
The Static echoed from the pilot's radio, and his voice filled the plane. (static)
Angelo smiled, "Thank you, Maria. I know my way." (smiled.)
Taking a long drag from his cigar, Carlos paused before answering. "Only if (answering,)
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Naomi is in danger. I am hoping Matthew can protect her. I feel a slight international influence here. LOL Will my hero be entering this one too?
Keep an eye on your dialogue.
Spying his billfold on the corner of the desk, she grinned, "Sure thing!" (grinned.)
Setting the bags on the desk, he motioned toward them, "Let's eat." (them.)
Now, can I have the Jack Daniels?" (NO YOU CAN'T)
The Static echoed from the pilot's radio, and his voice filled the plane. (static)
Angelo smiled, "Thank you, Maria. I know my way." (smiled.)
Taking a long drag from his cigar, Carlos paused before answering. "Only if (answering,)
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Barbara... Too much is happening again in my life and I apologize for not being able to keep focused. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you to police me. I will try to do better. Thanks!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Gunner Lil
This just continues to get better and better,
Great sensory descriptions that puts the reader in the story. I hope they fix the airport tower.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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This just continues to get better and better,
Great sensory descriptions that puts the reader in the story. I hope they fix the airport tower.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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It's Mexico so I don't know if that's a high level priority or not, especially in a small town. Maybe Carlos will think it is worth his while to do so. Glad you enjoyed the story so far.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
I see you are back on track... Lost chapters or not you've picked up with fresh energy and further advanced the plot. Hmmm. So Bennett was blackmailing! There's a motive to want to eliminate him.
As ever, your dialogue and rich descriptions thoroughly engage me.
I always look forward to Eleanor appearing, and Carlos may be at the hub of human trafficking...
How much does Naomi know? How will Angelo "convince" her to stay silent?
Lots of plot twists ahead!
Karenina
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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I see you are back on track... Lost chapters or not you've picked up with fresh energy and further advanced the plot. Hmmm. So Bennett was blackmailing! There's a motive to want to eliminate him.
As ever, your dialogue and rich descriptions thoroughly engage me.
I always look forward to Eleanor appearing, and Carlos may be at the hub of human trafficking...
How much does Naomi know? How will Angelo "convince" her to stay silent?
Lots of plot twists ahead!
Karenina
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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I believe Bennett might have stepped on too many toes or thought he could get more than someone was willing to give. Carlos's main focus at the moment is keeping his son out of trouble. When he learned of the murder cover up, he sent Angelo to find out everything and to tell Naomi to keep her mouth shut. Bennett's murder put a different light on the situation for everyone. Things should get interesting!
Smiles, Carol
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You're the author...THINGS ALWAYS GET INTERESTING!
:)