Spirited Justice
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Spirited Justice Chap 12"Mystery, crime and ghostly high jinks
17 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Fasten our seat belts...Carol is on a tear and it's going to be a bumpy ride! Holy bloody scene, my friend. I knew she was in danger but --- YIKES...I was not expecting that knife to thrust! WHO is coming in the door? I could guess but right now I'm worried about Naomi's airway, breathing, and circulation. Hey-- it's the nurse in me!
I'm virtual sixing this one. It's packed full of action and I'm riveted!
Karenina
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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Fasten our seat belts...Carol is on a tear and it's going to be a bumpy ride! Holy bloody scene, my friend. I knew she was in danger but --- YIKES...I was not expecting that knife to thrust! WHO is coming in the door? I could guess but right now I'm worried about Naomi's airway, breathing, and circulation. Hey-- it's the nurse in me!
I'm virtual sixing this one. It's packed full of action and I'm riveted!
Karenina
Comment Written 31-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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Get prepared! There's several of these action packed scenes...I've been really enjoying getting charged at 4 in the morning and letting the energy out... Poor Naomi is in trouble and soon Angelo will be caught between so much. Good thing Eleanor can help.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from BOO ghost
BOO is reading...Her gaze was distant as she sat at her desk and stared blankly out the window. This is a nice description. Reading...Naomi forced a small smile, though it didn't reach her eyes. Another good description. Reading...The memories threatened to consume her, but she pushed them down, keeping a calm facade. Yo, this is another sentence I like. Reading...An icy chill crept up her spine as the words left her lips. The thought struck her like a hammer -- what if she was next? Hum, that could be a possibility. Like that sentence! Adding tension. Reading...The shelves clicked softly and then swung open, revealing his secret domain. Wow! A secret password! Let me read further and discover what's behind this bookcase. This is a nice surprise! Reading...I read the secret letter. There's a key? The blade caught the faint light, and Naomi's eyes widened in horror as he and Jose exchanged places. Nice description! He knows she's lying to him. Without hesitation, the driver plunged the knife into Naomi's side, silencing her scream with a brutal twist of the blade. She crumpled to the floor, gasping in agony as blood pooled beneath her. This is how she became a ghost? I like how you closed the last paragraph like a cliffhanger. Excellent post! Things are heating up!
BOO!
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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BOO is reading...Her gaze was distant as she sat at her desk and stared blankly out the window. This is a nice description. Reading...Naomi forced a small smile, though it didn't reach her eyes. Another good description. Reading...The memories threatened to consume her, but she pushed them down, keeping a calm facade. Yo, this is another sentence I like. Reading...An icy chill crept up her spine as the words left her lips. The thought struck her like a hammer -- what if she was next? Hum, that could be a possibility. Like that sentence! Adding tension. Reading...The shelves clicked softly and then swung open, revealing his secret domain. Wow! A secret password! Let me read further and discover what's behind this bookcase. This is a nice surprise! Reading...I read the secret letter. There's a key? The blade caught the faint light, and Naomi's eyes widened in horror as he and Jose exchanged places. Nice description! He knows she's lying to him. Without hesitation, the driver plunged the knife into Naomi's side, silencing her scream with a brutal twist of the blade. She crumpled to the floor, gasping in agony as blood pooled beneath her. This is how she became a ghost? I like how you closed the last paragraph like a cliffhanger. Excellent post! Things are heating up!
BOO!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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You are far too good to me, Boo! My eyes light up and my heart smiles every time I see your reviews. Thanks for always being so kind and supportive. You brighten my day.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Shanbreen
This story held my interest. It's very well written Begin Again, were you an attorney or a Police woman? You seem to have a very good grasp on mysteries such as this. Your plot is wonderful. I wish I had a 6 to give you.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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This story held my interest. It's very well written Begin Again, were you an attorney or a Police woman? You seem to have a very good grasp on mysteries such as this. Your plot is wonderful. I wish I had a 6 to give you.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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thank you so much for the review, your kind comments and the interest in the story. I've been an avid reader of mystery/crime stories all my life and it's my main source of interest if I am watching television, so I guess I picked up a lot. I have posted Chap 13 and 14 is read for tomorrow morning. I hope you continue to read and enjoy the story. Thank you so much for thinking it deserved a six.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
This chapter had me on the edge of my chair. Poor Naomi -- I hope she survives. One suggestion: 'I told you I don't know!' Naomi (sobbed) -- all your verbs are in past tense except this one. Another exciting chapter! Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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This chapter had me on the edge of my chair. Poor Naomi -- I hope she survives. One suggestion: 'I told you I don't know!' Naomi (sobbed) -- all your verbs are in past tense except this one. Another exciting chapter! Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Do I need to send pillows in case you fall off? Just kidding, but I am thrilled that I was able to put you on the edge of your chair with the suspense in the chapter. Thanks for pointing out my error and I'll fix it asap.
Smiles, Carol
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I'll gather a few pillows before I read the next chapter! LOL! Thanks for the laugh. Hugs!
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Pillows! Perfect! Sending smiles and hugs!
Comment from LJbutterfly
This chapter was so intense I couldn't read fast enough. I particularly enjoyed the story-telling technique where the reader knows something (the two men waiting to enter Naomi's apartment) that the protagonist doesn't know, so the reader anxiously waits to see the outcome. I also enjoyed ALL of your phenomenal descriptions that put me in the center of each scene.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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This chapter was so intense I couldn't read fast enough. I particularly enjoyed the story-telling technique where the reader knows something (the two men waiting to enter Naomi's apartment) that the protagonist doesn't know, so the reader anxiously waits to see the outcome. I also enjoyed ALL of your phenomenal descriptions that put me in the center of each scene.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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You are so kind, Lorraine! And of course, you have me smiling from ear to ear... well, almost! You certainly made my day... and a few more too! I am glad that you are enjoying the story and I appreciate all the great comments.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ulla
Wow, this is a dramatic, chapter, Carol. She did what she could Jo protect the secret. She succeeded but still got stabbed in the process. What now? What a great chapter, Carol, Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Wow, this is a dramatic, chapter, Carol. She did what she could Jo protect the secret. She succeeded but still got stabbed in the process. What now? What a great chapter, Carol, Ulla xxx
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Somebody has to find those papers and I hope they fall in the right hands. thanks so much for enjoying this chapter, Ulla. I appreciate YOU as always.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Dramatic throughout the whole chapter. Let's hope someone saves her quickly. She certainly realises now the extent of the danger she's in! Eleanor needs to get there quickly perhaps. Those crims are certainly desperate and ruthless. It has to be big.
Well written. Wendy
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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Dramatic throughout the whole chapter. Let's hope someone saves her quickly. She certainly realises now the extent of the danger she's in! Eleanor needs to get there quickly perhaps. Those crims are certainly desperate and ruthless. It has to be big.
Well written. Wendy
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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I am thrilled that the tension came out as I hoped. I like putting my readers on the edge of their seats, holding their breath. Yes, some one big is behind it all.....
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Whew! I'm glad I didn't read this first. I know now that Angelo was the one who came in through the door. But it really does seem like Naomi doesn't know about those papers that Jose wants.
Great descriptions of the emotional turmoil that Naomi has gone through this day!
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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Whew! I'm glad I didn't read this first. I know now that Angelo was the one who came in through the door. But it really does seem like Naomi doesn't know about those papers that Jose wants.
Great descriptions of the emotional turmoil that Naomi has gone through this day!
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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No, Naomi is caught in a web and doesn't really know what's going on except for bits and pieces. She thinks its about the cover up in Mexico but doesn't realize that Jose has expanded his life of crime into something much bigger.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I hope someone is coming to save her. If she lives, she knows Jose is on the evil side of whatever is going on. If she lives, she needs to know what Beckett's ex-wife knows. She doesn't want Donatelli to know what she was forced to do. She has to live because she knows something that might make sense of what is happening.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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I hope someone is coming to save her. If she lives, she knows Jose is on the evil side of whatever is going on. If she lives, she needs to know what Beckett's ex-wife knows. She doesn't want Donatelli to know what she was forced to do. She has to live because she knows something that might make sense of what is happening.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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Yes, poor Naomi has herself in the middle of something but she's not sure what it is.... so many secrets with so many people. I hope she lives too!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
This was brutal. I'm wondering if I missed something but if so I guess I'll catch. I surprised the killer didn't make sure she was dead. I'm glad she is determined to survive but someone better come to her rescue soon or she will bleed out.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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This was brutal. I'm wondering if I missed something but if so I guess I'll catch. I surprised the killer didn't make sure she was dead. I'm glad she is determined to survive but someone better come to her rescue soon or she will bleed out.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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Angelo startled them and they needed to escape, confident that their skills had taken care of the problem...but maybe they were wrong. Naomi is teetering o the edge, but she's got information that needs to get to the right people.
Smiles, Carol