Spirited Justice
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Spirited Justice Chap 13"Mystery, crime and ghostly high jinks
21 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Angelo! That's who was coming down the hallway! Isn't THAT fortuitous...
And three cheers for the retired doctor/ friend who showed up and stabilized Naomi...
I was clenching my teeth as Angelo took a roundabout route to be sure he wasn't being followed --- get that woman some aid!
(I knew you would though...)
As always, Eleanor shows up right when needed -- and I'd like to sign up with her for ghostly-grub-hub.
I keep thinking I'll stop and pick up another time-- but darn you -- this is so hard to leave when I know there are more chapters posted!
Karenina
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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Angelo! That's who was coming down the hallway! Isn't THAT fortuitous...
And three cheers for the retired doctor/ friend who showed up and stabilized Naomi...
I was clenching my teeth as Angelo took a roundabout route to be sure he wasn't being followed --- get that woman some aid!
(I knew you would though...)
As always, Eleanor shows up right when needed -- and I'd like to sign up with her for ghostly-grub-hub.
I keep thinking I'll stop and pick up another time-- but darn you -- this is so hard to leave when I know there are more chapters posted!
Karenina
Comment Written 31-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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Yes...I could use a little bit of Eleanor too! Snap those fingers and there's the food... or help...or whatever else is needed. In my next chapter...she's about to play referee between Donatelli and Garth...time to end the feud. I don't want you to wear yourself out but on the other hand I am so thrilled that it's holding your attention so well that you don't want to stop.... Thanks so much. I love you!
Smiles, Carol
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I just has one of my stories drop on a YouTube channel. As The Raven Dreams....
I'm story #1 of today...
I'll email you the link.
Fun!
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Please do! I have no idea what this is but I certainly would like to read it and find out more....Sounds like something wonderful for you! Tell me more!
Comment from BOO ghost
Here to pick up where the last episode ended! BOO is reading...gonna disect and pick a few favorite sentences. Guess BOO is a Word Ghost. He raced down the hallway, dread twisted in his stomach like a slithering snake with each step. Nice alliterations!
Moving along...There's a bag of O-negative blood in the refrigerator. Let's get it connected. Then I can stitch her up." By any coincidence are you O-negative blood?
Reading...but there was nothing -- just the quiet of the woods and the occasional rustle of the leaves in the breeze. Nice description. Paints a picture of the cabin and scenery. "You think the two girls and their research are connected somehow?"
Eleanor nodded. "It's too much of a coincidence. Ok, this makes logical sense. Putting the pieces of the puzzle together little by little. And the man incarcerated was innocent? He had the time and opportunity to copy the papers. Makes logical sense.
You weave another fantastic story! I see that Eleanor popped back into the action! Guess that ghosts can materialize anyplace and anytime like BOO Ghost!
Reap your golden harvest of stars!
BOO!
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Here to pick up where the last episode ended! BOO is reading...gonna disect and pick a few favorite sentences. Guess BOO is a Word Ghost. He raced down the hallway, dread twisted in his stomach like a slithering snake with each step. Nice alliterations!
Moving along...There's a bag of O-negative blood in the refrigerator. Let's get it connected. Then I can stitch her up." By any coincidence are you O-negative blood?
Reading...but there was nothing -- just the quiet of the woods and the occasional rustle of the leaves in the breeze. Nice description. Paints a picture of the cabin and scenery. "You think the two girls and their research are connected somehow?"
Eleanor nodded. "It's too much of a coincidence. Ok, this makes logical sense. Putting the pieces of the puzzle together little by little. And the man incarcerated was innocent? He had the time and opportunity to copy the papers. Makes logical sense.
You weave another fantastic story! I see that Eleanor popped back into the action! Guess that ghosts can materialize anyplace and anytime like BOO Ghost!
Reap your golden harvest of stars!
BOO!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Yes I am the O Negative child... Give to anyone and take from few! Seems to work that way in my life as well, except you are one of the O Negative givers in my life. thank you for making me smile all the time. Another glittery day thanks to you!
Smiles, Carol
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Oh, today is still Review Wonderland Day! Got to earn them cent pumps to buy a certificate and post! See ya some times today!
Comment from Shanbreen
I love how you draw the reader into the plot.
"Staying in the shadows, he carried her the block to his car. Every noise, every car passing by, sent a chill up his spine...."
There is a negligible issue you may want to review. In the first line, section 2, you have::
"The tension in his chest eased slightly as Angelo navigated the final stretch of the dirt road leading to the secluded cabin."
For just a second, I wondered who was the person (...in his chest... Was Arthur a second person? Perhaps interchanging "Arthur" with "his" would be helpful. How about
"The tension in Arthur's chest eased slightly as he navigated the final stretch of the dirt road leading to the secluded cabin."
Well done Begin Again.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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I love how you draw the reader into the plot.
"Staying in the shadows, he carried her the block to his car. Every noise, every car passing by, sent a chill up his spine...."
There is a negligible issue you may want to review. In the first line, section 2, you have::
"The tension in his chest eased slightly as Angelo navigated the final stretch of the dirt road leading to the secluded cabin."
For just a second, I wondered who was the person (...in his chest... Was Arthur a second person? Perhaps interchanging "Arthur" with "his" would be helpful. How about
"The tension in Arthur's chest eased slightly as he navigated the final stretch of the dirt road leading to the secluded cabin."
Well done Begin Again.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Thanks so much! I will check out yur suggestion and see if I can make that paragraph flow slightly better. I miss things at times because in my head I see it one way but I'm writing it another. Thanks for your kindness.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Angelo seems to love Naomi, or he wants the papers Jose didn't find. Accusing the father for the murder of his pageant daughter doesn't make any sense. Beckett must not have been a very good lawyer if he was the father's lawyer.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Angelo seems to love Naomi, or he wants the papers Jose didn't find. Accusing the father for the murder of his pageant daughter doesn't make any sense. Beckett must not have been a very good lawyer if he was the father's lawyer.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Beckett framed the father....And case was closed so as not to draw attention to the pageant. Each time something has happened over the years, it got swept under the carpet. But now...we have Eleanor and I doubt that will happen.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
Wow, I'm glad Angelo found Naomi when he did. And then Eleanor shows up just in time to piece together the clues from Angelo. Great dialogue throughout, and another exciting chapter. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Wow, I'm glad Angelo found Naomi when he did. And then Eleanor shows up just in time to piece together the clues from Angelo. Great dialogue throughout, and another exciting chapter. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Thanks so much for your review and the comments. I am thrilled that you are enjoying the story.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
This was another incredible chapter. I'm glad I was able to go from Chapter 12, directly to Chapter 13. You've mentioned that some reviewers want you to move slower, but when suspense builds, it's nice to be able to continue reading until an issue is resolved. I was glad to see Eleanor. This is the second time she served a meal to a hungry man. I'm hungry. I wish she would pop up at my house with a pizza. Lol. Looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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This was another incredible chapter. I'm glad I was able to go from Chapter 12, directly to Chapter 13. You've mentioned that some reviewers want you to move slower, but when suspense builds, it's nice to be able to continue reading until an issue is resolved. I was glad to see Eleanor. This is the second time she served a meal to a hungry man. I'm hungry. I wish she would pop up at my house with a pizza. Lol. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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That's exactly how I feel...When I am reading something that's grabbed my attention, I don't want to wait days or even a week to find out what happened. I'm into instant gratification! LOL It must be the catering side of me that has Eleanor whipping up meals....
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sally Law
Oh, I need an Eleanor like that! A helping hand and burgers, fries and cole slaw. What a ghost! A great chapter although I'm very behind. But... thats not your fault. You have done a splendid job catching me up. The character list is most helpful.
Typo: O negative blood doesn't have a hyphen. Other than that little bitty thing, Perfecto!
Sending you my best today as always and blessings abundant.
Sal Xoxo's
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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Oh, I need an Eleanor like that! A helping hand and burgers, fries and cole slaw. What a ghost! A great chapter although I'm very behind. But... thats not your fault. You have done a splendid job catching me up. The character list is most helpful.
Typo: O negative blood doesn't have a hyphen. Other than that little bitty thing, Perfecto!
Sending you my best today as always and blessings abundant.
Sal Xoxo's
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
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I agree! Having an Eleanor around could be a wonderful gift and her sense of humor would make me smile as well. Just like your review and lovely stars have done, Sally. thank you so much for your kindness.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I know Eleanor will find help. I feel Matthew needs to be brought in on this along with Garth. It sounds international to me. I also think Angelo wants to change his previous scoundrel ways and follow the right track. I do like this story a lot.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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I know Eleanor will find help. I feel Matthew needs to be brought in on this along with Garth. It sounds international to me. I also think Angelo wants to change his previous scoundrel ways and follow the right track. I do like this story a lot.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Barbara... Yes,I think Angelo's love for Naomi will draw him towat doing the right thing and hopefully taking her away from all of this... unless Carlos and Jose get to him.Keep our fingers crossed. And it might take some persuading to get Garth to join up with Matthew again. Thanks so much for the review and for enjoying.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's always a pleasure, my dear, to start my day off with one of your chapters. And as a writer who always covers the bases, I never have to do anything but enjoy the fine reading. Since I make more blunders than Fred Flintstone, I never make suggestions to others. And this is a very simple one. Since "O negative" is the only universal blood type that can be given to all the A and B types of blood, you might add that name to the bag of blood in the refrigerator. Any other type might be lethal for Naomi.
Thanks for sharing.
A pair of approaching headlights glared in his (rearview) review mirror.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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It's always a pleasure, my dear, to start my day off with one of your chapters. And as a writer who always covers the bases, I never have to do anything but enjoy the fine reading. Since I make more blunders than Fred Flintstone, I never make suggestions to others. And this is a very simple one. Since "O negative" is the only universal blood type that can be given to all the A and B types of blood, you might add that name to the bag of blood in the refrigerator. Any other type might be lethal for Naomi.
Thanks for sharing.
A pair of approaching headlights glared in his (rearview) review mirror.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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I should have known that! I'm O negative - I can give to everyone but only take from a few....Story of my life. LOL And I hate automatic word correction... Thanks for pointing it out. Fixed and fixed! Thanks for the help, the review and the kind comments. Oh yeah, and the smile!
Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Another chapter full of drama and emotion! And what a welcome appearance for Angelo when the beloved Eleanor arrives, not only promising support at Angelo's weakest moment, but also groceries. I love the pace of this while the dialogue is excellently crafted to build character and plot. My only very small quibble would be "whomever" - grammatically correct but would it be used in common speech? It sounds a tad bumpy. But, as ever, an excellent and proficient write. Well done, Carol. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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Another chapter full of drama and emotion! And what a welcome appearance for Angelo when the beloved Eleanor arrives, not only promising support at Angelo's weakest moment, but also groceries. I love the pace of this while the dialogue is excellently crafted to build character and plot. My only very small quibble would be "whomever" - grammatically correct but would it be used in common speech? It sounds a tad bumpy. But, as ever, an excellent and proficient write. Well done, Carol. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
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Thanks for topping by to read another chapter, Debbie and for enjoying it. I always love your comments and suggestions. The new few chapters might be a little slower since a few readers said the pace was too fast. We might have a moment of reflection and of course some humor.
Smiles, Carol