Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

Hi Jacob,
I've read many chapter without responding as I'm so very far behind. I do want you to know I've been following it even if I haven't responded.

You have a lot of of movement in your plot with things getting pretty dicy with Callum and Danielle. It looks like Mary is getting into his head about his parents, but, so far, he's still on Danielle's side.

Great job,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2024

Thank you, Rhonda, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

I suspect Danielle's fears are correct about Mary speaking to Callum. She is likely to do the "your dad is the reason your mom died" routine all over again. The paragraph beginning, I'm gonna message Max, sounds as if Callum isn't even in the room.

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2024

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024

Thank you, Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I want to know what Mary is saying to Callum myself. She's almost broken him. I do hope Max comes through. If not, then Danielle needs to contact Sarah. I can't wait to read more.

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2024

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2024

Thank you, Barbara, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Well we've got to the bottom of why Callum was so upset. After he'd told Danielle, I thought she might well lose it and go and lambast Mary. I would love for that to have happened, especially as Danielle can be very impulsive (as she was with Harvey). I tend to think she's losing a bit of that spark and staying quiet too long. Your chapter reads well and with interest, Jacob, but there is one instance when you omit inverted commas: Say you feel ill...
And - Come on Callum, say something. Please. - should be in thought italics.
Thanks for sharing. Debbie

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2024

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2024

Thank you, Debbie, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

And the hole gets deeper and deeper. Mary is getting into Callum's head and maybe believes it's a way to get to Danielle as well. Another great chapter, Jacob! Keep them coming.
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2024

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2024

Thank you, Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

I'm always happy to see your poets. Sometimes I get answers to something I was wondering about but I usually have something more to worry about. Danielle's brother must be wondering what his sister make be finding out. Nicely written. I'm looking forward to more.
Beth

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2024

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2024

Thank you, Beth, I'm pleased that you enjoyed reading it.

Comment from Lana Marie

Excellent

I have not read any of your other chapters, but this is definitely stirring up and building curiosity into what really happened to the mother that supposedly died of cancer.hmmmm...
Good job on this chapter! Happy Writing, and Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2024

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2024

Thank you, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary

Excellent

Jacob,

Another fine chapter to your book. You are killing me with the suspense of what is going on. Danielle has got her work cutout for her if she and Callum are going to find out the truth about their families.

Well done

Cecilia

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2024

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2024

Thank you, Cecilia, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

reply by Cecilia A Heiskary on 27-Nov-2024

You're welcome

Cecilia

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

I have not been keeping up with your story, but each time that I do come across it and I read one I am always amazed that your wonderful writing ability. He is very good and structure and your paragraphing is always very well done I appreciate your work. Patricia

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2024

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2024

Thank you.