Leslie Ann's Exploits
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Leslie Ann tackles Chemistry"A spoiled young lady who learns the hard way
13 total reviews
Comment from prayingpoet
Poor Leslie Ann is feeling flustered! She is one determind woman who wants her way; no matter how she has to get it. Interesting read, good flow and content.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Poor Leslie Ann is feeling flustered! She is one determind woman who wants her way; no matter how she has to get it. Interesting read, good flow and content.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Thanks so much for reading this one, prayingpoet. I wrote the first part and then the second, but by then Leslie Ann had become a character in my head. My muse is working overtime this week - LOL
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Loved it. She's reeeeally determined!
>>Finally deciding; she rather liked the Bunsen burners.
No semji-colon there. In fact, this sentence requires no punctuation at all, not even a comma.
Here are the TWO ways, and ONLY two, that semi-colons may be used:
1. You may use a semicolon to separate two independent clauses when there is no coordinating conjunction (words like and, but, or, yet and a few others) between them, and the two parts are very closely related. An independent clause is one that can stand alone as a complete sentence.
Examples
Wrong: Worried about the test; Tom didn't want to go to math class (First part is not an independent clause.)
Wrong: Tom went into math class worried, he had not studied for the test.
(Needs semi-colon, not comma.)
Right: Tom went into math class worried; he had not studied for the test. (Two closely related independent clauses.)
________
Wrong: Birds have hollow bones; they eat their own weight in food each day. (Bones have nothing to do with eating.)
Right: Birds have hollow bones. They eat their own weight in food each day. (Not closely related, so make two sentences.)
Right: Birds have hollow bones; they must be light enough to fly. (Lightweight bones are related to ability to fly.)
________
Wrong: If we try and fail; it's for lack of knowledge. (First clause is dependent, not independent.)
Wrong: It isn't for lack of trying that we fail, it's for lack of knowledge. (Needs semi-colon, not comma.)
Right: It isn't for lack of trying that we fail; it's for lack of knowledge. (Two closely related independent clauses.)
Right: It isn't for lack of trying that we fail--it's for lack of knowledge. (Sometimes semi-colons and dashes are interchangeable. Do not overuse either! Use them sparingly!)
2. To avoid confusion, use semi-colons in place of commas in a list where the items contain commas.
Example
Today I need to wash towels, sheets, and blankets; stop at the bank to deposit my paycheck, pick up a tax form, and get change for a fifty; buy groceries for dinner, since company is coming; and find the good silverware, which isn't in the buffet where it belongs.
It's true that you would probably not write that all as one sentence, but there are cases where you would do something similar. This is just to illustrate the second correct usage of the mark.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013
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Loved it. She's reeeeally determined!
>>Finally deciding; she rather liked the Bunsen burners.
No semji-colon there. In fact, this sentence requires no punctuation at all, not even a comma.
Here are the TWO ways, and ONLY two, that semi-colons may be used:
1. You may use a semicolon to separate two independent clauses when there is no coordinating conjunction (words like and, but, or, yet and a few others) between them, and the two parts are very closely related. An independent clause is one that can stand alone as a complete sentence.
Examples
Wrong: Worried about the test; Tom didn't want to go to math class (First part is not an independent clause.)
Wrong: Tom went into math class worried, he had not studied for the test.
(Needs semi-colon, not comma.)
Right: Tom went into math class worried; he had not studied for the test. (Two closely related independent clauses.)
________
Wrong: Birds have hollow bones; they eat their own weight in food each day. (Bones have nothing to do with eating.)
Right: Birds have hollow bones. They eat their own weight in food each day. (Not closely related, so make two sentences.)
Right: Birds have hollow bones; they must be light enough to fly. (Lightweight bones are related to ability to fly.)
________
Wrong: If we try and fail; it's for lack of knowledge. (First clause is dependent, not independent.)
Wrong: It isn't for lack of trying that we fail, it's for lack of knowledge. (Needs semi-colon, not comma.)
Right: It isn't for lack of trying that we fail; it's for lack of knowledge. (Two closely related independent clauses.)
Right: It isn't for lack of trying that we fail--it's for lack of knowledge. (Sometimes semi-colons and dashes are interchangeable. Do not overuse either! Use them sparingly!)
2. To avoid confusion, use semi-colons in place of commas in a list where the items contain commas.
Example
Today I need to wash towels, sheets, and blankets; stop at the bank to deposit my paycheck, pick up a tax form, and get change for a fifty; buy groceries for dinner, since company is coming; and find the good silverware, which isn't in the buffet where it belongs.
It's true that you would probably not write that all as one sentence, but there are cases where you would do something similar. This is just to illustrate the second correct usage of the mark.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013
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Phyllis, thanks for this lengthy review. I appreciate all your examples, but as it turned out, I used the grammar and word check on Word and probably inserted that semi-colon. I didn't notice. I assure you with one hand in the air, I believe it's my left hand, I know when to use semi-colons. Thanks again. I appreciate the generous rating.
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Never trust any grammar checking program. Always do a final personal proofread. This should be a lesson in what can happen! :)
Don't worry, I didn't type all that, just copypasted it from my Grammar Rules post.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Dossie,
The poem is penned by a master. Leslie Ann is using the same tactics I observed when I was in college many years ago. You introduce the reader to her and allow us to see her inner self. She is determined, even if he is married. I enjoyed the read from beginning to end.
Have a great day.
Curtis
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Dossie,
The poem is penned by a master. Leslie Ann is using the same tactics I observed when I was in college many years ago. You introduce the reader to her and allow us to see her inner self. She is determined, even if he is married. I enjoyed the read from beginning to end.
Have a great day.
Curtis
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Thanks so much, Curtis. I appreciate your comments, rating and encouragement.
Comment from alexisleech
She really is obsessed, isn't she? There are so many women like her who only want what they can't have, and feel nothing for people who show them love. I think it's because they don't like themselves, so think anyone who shows them affection deserve nothing but scorn. This is another great chapter of poetry about the scheming minx. I just hope the poor wife isn't in for a nasty shock of some sort!
I notice the first verse always up on the right hand side of the image, which is a shame because it interrupts the flow and hides the rhymes. If you go into editor and press the return key 6/7 times after the background information, the entire poem should then be below the image. Just a thought!
Alexis x
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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She really is obsessed, isn't she? There are so many women like her who only want what they can't have, and feel nothing for people who show them love. I think it's because they don't like themselves, so think anyone who shows them affection deserve nothing but scorn. This is another great chapter of poetry about the scheming minx. I just hope the poor wife isn't in for a nasty shock of some sort!
I notice the first verse always up on the right hand side of the image, which is a shame because it interrupts the flow and hides the rhymes. If you go into editor and press the return key 6/7 times after the background information, the entire poem should then be below the image. Just a thought!
Alexis x
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Some women never learn, which is unfortunate. Many of them are out for the chase and will wreck anything in their path. Thanks for the suggestion. I took your advice and they present much better. Thanks, Alexis for reading and rating my work!
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written my friend I liked this it is easy to follow so Leslie Ann is trying her womanly ways to try to trap Jonathan I enjoyed well done regards Jill
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Yes this is well written my friend I liked this it is easy to follow so Leslie Ann is trying her womanly ways to try to trap Jonathan I enjoyed well done regards Jill
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Thanks, Jill. I appreciate your encouragement.
Comment from jmdg1954
What a conniver we have on our midst. What she wants, she will get huh? She won't even let a little murder get in the way now will she?
You write this drawing the reader in and wanting more!!
Well executed...
John
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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What a conniver we have on our midst. What she wants, she will get huh? She won't even let a little murder get in the way now will she?
You write this drawing the reader in and wanting more!!
Well executed...
John
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Thanks, John, so much for your encouraging and complimentary comments, they mean so much to me. Peace. Dossie
Comment from Curly Girly
Hah! The plot thickens and perhaps she is getting closer to getting him. But his wife is in the way... I hope she is not plotting murder...?
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Hah! The plot thickens and perhaps she is getting closer to getting him. But his wife is in the way... I hope she is not plotting murder...?
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Thanks again, Curly Girly for those beautiful stars!!
Comment from Robert Loy Gonzalez
crazy women, i always knew they plan crazy things like this! haha anyways nice story and i liked it keep the reader wanting to read more.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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crazy women, i always knew they plan crazy things like this! haha anyways nice story and i liked it keep the reader wanting to read more.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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You're funny. Thanks, Robert for reading this chapter. I hope you'll continue reading Leslie Ann's adventure. Dossie
Comment from sunnilicious
Chemistry... How so very ironic. I actually sympathize for her. College can place a lot of people into a reality check. Well written. I look forward to reading more... Maybe with some dialogue. Excellent work.
Have a good night
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Chemistry... How so very ironic. I actually sympathize for her. College can place a lot of people into a reality check. Well written. I look forward to reading more... Maybe with some dialogue. Excellent work.
Have a good night
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Thanks, Sunni!
Comment from Righteous Riter
The writer tells the story clearly from start to finish. The abcb rhyme scheme is used effectively as the rhyming is good and the piece flows well. I like this piece because it ends like something you might see or the ID channel.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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The writer tells the story clearly from start to finish. The abcb rhyme scheme is used effectively as the rhyming is good and the piece flows well. I like this piece because it ends like something you might see or the ID channel.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Thanks, Righteous Rite for these generous comments and rating. I appreciate both.