Reviews from

Reflections Of Color

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Daddy When You Coming Home"
A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics

36 total reviews 
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent
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What a tear-jerker. I'd like to hear this sung. I love country music for the stories they tell.
Is there somehow something I somehow didn't do?-- heart breaking line as children do blame themselves.

Daddy I remember the days of me and you.
All I'm asking of you is for you to come back home. --

How could any man resist the unconditional love of his son?

Hopefully, this would make rednecks think twice. Sigh...

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
    Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them very much.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
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Such a sad tale, and one that is far too common, especially in the times in which we live today.

Your rhyming was incredible, especially for a poem of this heft and despite the repetitive lines. I felt those lines added a real dimension to the poem, one of sadness and despair felt on the parts of both parties involved. In addition, song lyrics are frequently repetitive.

Excellent poem, Brett. I'd really like to hear it set to music... ~Dean

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
    Thank you for your wonderful comments and support. Appreciate it very much as always.
reply by Dean Kuch on 23-Apr-2015
    It was entirely my pleasure, Brett. :)
    ~Dean
Comment from alf collier
Excellent
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Hi Brett. I must first apologize for not reading the profile notes when I reviewed last. I tend not to, as so many are disguised pleas for top ratings. Anyway, again, this is a top write and deserves more than my paltry offering!!! Love it, and will look for more, alf

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
    No need to apologize. I simply put out there what my writing pertains to and don't sweat the small stuff. I am not necessarily on this site for rave reviews. I want to get better as a Lyricist and the only way to do that is to go for broke and let the pieces fall where they may. Then try to be smart enough to learn from comments made from regular readers of my lyrics. Whether I get one star or 6 stars is not all that important to me because all readers are reading very opininatedly and stating what they believe. For instance my All Time Best rated lyric "The Snake" was originally entered into a writing contest and received all of two votes. Whooptidoo! However, I always felt it was much better than that so I promoted it and low and behold it is now an All Time Best rated lyric. Which proves my point, never give up on a piece of writing you believe strongly in regardless of how anyone else may comment about it. (Of course, 5 and 6 Star ratings are nice...just not the only thing). Sorry for rambling but needed to express my thoughts. And, always appreciate support from fellow Writers like you.
reply by alf collier on 23-Apr-2015
    Actually, I was most interested to read your comments. You seem to have the same attitude I have, at least about the pieces I care about. Hope you have more on the way, alf
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
    There will be.
Comment from dmt1967
Excellent
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This is a sad song, but a real one in so many families. The father gets a new family and forgets the old one, sad, but true. I enjoyed reading it and it bought a tear to my eye. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
    Thank you for your comments. Appreciate them.
Comment from valerieellis
Excellent
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WOW!! Exceptional! I wish I had a 6star to give you! This was simply beautiful! I actually found myself singing along to it. And although I did not know the melody intended for it, it did not matter. Your lyrics flowed smoothly and easily and evoked strong emotions. I love the message in your words. I look forward to reading more of your writings. God bless :)

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
    Thank you very much. My portfolio currently has four All Time Best rated Country Lyrics you may enjoy reading known as Board Of Education, The Snake, Daddy When You Coming Home, and The Buckle. Enjoy. More will be following as well. Also, thanks for becoming a fan.
Comment from fimarie78
Excellent
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I loved the main refrain 'somehow something..'.

I began reading thinking that it was a poem, but when the section was repeated, I wondered if it was a song. Country music is a fantastic medium for sharing a story. Do you have a melody for it?

Affairs and divorce are so abundant in our society and it's so sad. Particularly when there are children.

thanks for sharing Fiona

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
    It is lyrics for a Country music song. Appreciate your comments.
Comment from scd41
Excellent
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It is an emotive poem with the conversations between a father who is away and his son who is yearning for his returning home. It becomes all the more poignant when the son asks his father if he has got someone new to replace his mother. The presentation of the poem in the given format was something first time for me to read.

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
    Actually these are Country song lyrics written as a Duet. Appreciate your comments.
Comment from Delahay
Excellent
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This shows the heartbreaking thoughts that children can have when their parents split up. I imagine a lot of them wonder if they are the reason why one of their parents left, wonder what they did wrong. And parents who are too wrapped up in recrimination toward each other don't notice how the children are suffering.

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
    Thank you for your comments. Appreciate them.
Comment from Travis64
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

For me, this a very heartfelt and emotional piece because it hit home from some of the incidents that were very similar to me in my childhood. I like the manner in which you wrote this. Although, very sad, it was well written and held so much truth. Well done and well written! Thanks for sharing!

~Travis64

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
    Thank you for your comments. Appreciate them.
Comment from socrates2011
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This makes me want to cry, the way the father left the son and they were talking about how much the other loves them and if they still do. Aw.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
    Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them. A very sad, tragic state of affairs that all too many times happens.