Me and You - 40+ years of Poems V2
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Child Hood or Hood Child?"Life, Love, Pain, Regrets, Struggles, Blessings
4 total reviews
Comment from Rob Caudle
I absolutely love, love, Love this! It reminds me so much of a poster I had many moons ago called, "Children live what they Learn." Whoever wrote that was inspired, as you are. I love that you included the opposites of everything. And your last line was wonderful. It reminds all of us that not all children learn in the same way the same day!
Just wonderful! Just had one question about malice's. That means that something would belong to the malice? I've never actually heard the word used in a plural or possessive form. Hmmmmm....maybe a different word to rhyme with palace?
Like: some will face the callous? Or some will reach the stratus?
Anyway, good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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I absolutely love, love, Love this! It reminds me so much of a poster I had many moons ago called, "Children live what they Learn." Whoever wrote that was inspired, as you are. I love that you included the opposites of everything. And your last line was wonderful. It reminds all of us that not all children learn in the same way the same day!
Just wonderful! Just had one question about malice's. That means that something would belong to the malice? I've never actually heard the word used in a plural or possessive form. Hmmmmm....maybe a different word to rhyme with palace?
Like: some will face the callous? Or some will reach the stratus?
Anyway, good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Thank you for the review and insights.
I meant malices as in a series of them.
I will correct the spelling.
God's Blessings to you and your family.
Comment from Kiera Haley
Keep in mind that I'm an amateur editor and you are free to disregard any of my suggestions. This is a great concept and even a great reminder of the impact our childhood can have on us as adults. I like the repetition of "some children" throughout the poem and I also like that you deviated from it in the last verse because it made the ending more impactful. I applaud your dedication to the rhyme scheme, but some of the rhymes felt forced, such as "some children will face malice's". While the line makes sense, it seems a little odd and forced. I love the line "some children call you dude" because it's so true that it gave me a little chuckle. I also really like the line "some children have no housing" because it was a powerful reminder of the suffering some children unfortunately go through. However, the line "some children are rousing" also seemed forced and it kind of makes sense, but it's also just a little odd for lack of a better term. I did really enjoy the poem though, especially the last verse.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Keep in mind that I'm an amateur editor and you are free to disregard any of my suggestions. This is a great concept and even a great reminder of the impact our childhood can have on us as adults. I like the repetition of "some children" throughout the poem and I also like that you deviated from it in the last verse because it made the ending more impactful. I applaud your dedication to the rhyme scheme, but some of the rhymes felt forced, such as "some children will face malice's". While the line makes sense, it seems a little odd and forced. I love the line "some children call you dude" because it's so true that it gave me a little chuckle. I also really like the line "some children have no housing" because it was a powerful reminder of the suffering some children unfortunately go through. However, the line "some children are rousing" also seemed forced and it kind of makes sense, but it's also just a little odd for lack of a better term. I did really enjoy the poem though, especially the last verse.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Thank you for the review and insights.
I actually intended to enter a different poem "The Lonely Boy", before I read all the rule information.
So I composed the entered poem in a bit of a rush before the deadline.
Thank you for the review and insights.
Comment from kahpot
What an excellent description on the opposite side that children may be brought up, you have written and explained this very well in this wonderful rhyming poem****kahpot.'.'.'
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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What an excellent description on the opposite side that children may be brought up, you have written and explained this very well in this wonderful rhyming poem****kahpot.'.'.'
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Yes, I thought about how not all children experience perfect childhoods.
Thank you for the review and Kind words.
Best Wishes and God Bless you and your family.
Comment from Teresa Alford
Good luck in the contest. This looks like a winner. As a Sociologist, who worked many years in Child Welfare and adoption, you could say I've pretty much seen it all where children are concerned. Good job! TA ";-)
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Good luck in the contest. This looks like a winner. As a Sociologist, who worked many years in Child Welfare and adoption, you could say I've pretty much seen it all where children are concerned. Good job! TA ";-)
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Thank you for the review and insight.
I thought about how not all children unfortunately experience perfect childhoods,
Best Wishes and God Bless you.