Reviews from

The Recipe

A teenager is told to make her own breakfast.

12 total reviews 
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This dialogue-only story, The Recipe, is a neat choice to use here and works really well. The reader knows who's speaking and can imagine the limited movements in the scene. Cute joke.

Found this: There is (a) box in there.

Happy day.

 Comment Written 11-May-2020


reply by the author on 11-May-2020
    Thank you so much for the review. Thank's also for noticing I left out a word. Much appreciated.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like this. I guess it goes to show you that many children in this generation probably never had to cook much or just ate lots of instant junk. I know that when I was growing up, we learned to cook, clean, and iron. We also learned whatever else needed to be done when the parents weren't around or were busy. Thanks for sharing this humorous and well written work. Well done!

 Comment Written 11-May-2020


reply by the author on 11-May-2020
    Thank you so much for the review. It was time she learned but she had a lot to learn.
    I hope you vote.
Comment from Elizabeth Vaughn
Good
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Pretty darn funny. I think this way myself and often have to read something several times for it to make sense to me. Can't suggest any improvements.

 Comment Written 10-May-2020


reply by the author on 10-May-2020
    Thank your for the review. I'm curious about the four star rating. That is like a C grade and is usually reserved for when can suggest improvement. It is good to give people a chance to improve and up to a five star.
reply by Elizabeth Vaughn on 10-May-2020
    Sorry, I?m relatively new to Fanstory and did not realize this was equivalent of a C. My apologies.
Comment from Bichon
Excellent
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This was a funny and lighthearted dialogue only story! I can probably imagine something like this happening to me a few years ago, haha. Best of luck!

 Comment Written 09-May-2020


reply by the author on 09-May-2020
    Thank you for the review and comments. I'm glad you found it funny. I did at the time. I couldn't believe she thought yields was a ingredient.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
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-I like the image and
appreciate your note.
-I have to say the ending
made me laugh.
-I imagine you had to smile, too.
-The progression and flow of the
story is very good.
-Your explanations are
much like a recipe, letting her
know the steps involved.
-The ending is priceless.
-I wonder how she felt about
the whole situation, and how
the grits turned out!
-Very well done, and have
a Happy Mother's Day.

 Comment Written 09-May-2020


reply by the author on 09-May-2020
    I pretty sure I laughed at the time. I don't know if she ever bothered finishing those grits are not. She probably settled for cereal or toast.
    She doesn't do much cooking today, so maybe I didn't handle it right.
    Beth
reply by Pam (respa) on 09-May-2020
    Thanks for sharing.
Comment from Margaret Bednar
Excellent
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This is funny and I like that this is something that happened to you. If you live in the south one knows how to cook grits. Can't find anything wrong with this.

 Comment Written 08-May-2020


reply by the author on 09-May-2020
    Thank you so much for the review and comments. Yes, I live in the South and grits are a stable. LOL.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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Author that is a ploy to get mom to make the grits. I enjoyed your fun contest entry. Everything fits nicely--the picture is perfect, the bold font works, and the 'twist' at the end was unexpected. Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 08-May-2020


reply by the author on 08-May-2020
    Thank you so much for the review and comments. I appreciate the good wishes.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Excellent
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This is a funny story. Girls try their best to cook and genuinely misread. My daughters have done the same. I laugh behind their backs so as not to hurt their feelings.

 Comment Written 08-May-2020


reply by the author on 08-May-2020
    Thank you Rebecca, They pull some good ones. I'm glad you found it funny. '
reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 08-May-2020
    Kids make good memories.
Comment from Ash.writer
Excellent
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What a fun story you have written using dialogue. I'm sure all the moms can relate to this. Thanks for bringing a smile on my face today. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 08-May-2020


reply by the author on 08-May-2020
    I'm so glad you liked this. I do appreciate the review.
Comment from Trent Delaney
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Lol.. I enjoyed this. Reminded me of a conversation I had with my daughter long ago when she learned I knew how to cook Sunday dinner. She was 12. This definitely put a smile upon my face.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 08-May-2020


reply by the author on 08-May-2020
    Thank you for the review. I enjoyed your comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it.