Poems By AnnieDawn
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Tempted"My book of poems and stories
14 total reviews
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Temptation Poetry writing prompt.
This cute story is well told in the well rhymed verse.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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I think this is a good entry for the Temptation Poetry writing prompt.
This cute story is well told in the well rhymed verse.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 20-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for your kind review. I hesitated before entering this one. It does help when I pen my emotions and they are not all negative. Stay well and safe in this troubled world.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt poem about a little girl defending her friend from a bully who hits her and give her a bloody nose then she get grounded, life can be very unfair.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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A very well-written heartfelt poem about a little girl defending her friend from a bully who hits her and give her a bloody nose then she get grounded, life can be very unfair.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Thanks for supporting this entry with your kind review. Have a great weekend.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Tempted, finds the child who could have entered the fray but chose the sid3 of observer. This trust in rules, governance, and what's right is, in reality, dependent on actions when needed.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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This poem, Tempted, finds the child who could have entered the fray but chose the sid3 of observer. This trust in rules, governance, and what's right is, in reality, dependent on actions when needed.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Thanks for supporting this entry with your kind review. Have a great weekend.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, anonymous,
Interesting entry for the
Temptation Poetry writing prompt contest. Nice presentation.
I read your poem several times and I don't get the temptation part.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Hello, anonymous,
Interesting entry for the
Temptation Poetry writing prompt contest. Nice presentation.
I read your poem several times and I don't get the temptation part.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
Comment Written 19-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Guess she couldn't resist the temptation to step in and try to rescue her friend from the bully. Probably is not defined enough. So sorry. This was a quick entry. Thanks for your review.
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No worries
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No worries
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Poet,
Oh, my. I totally understand the temptation to smack that guy! It's funny, I might not stick up for myself enough to slap or punch or even chew out -- but you better not mess with my buddies.
One small note:
--> As the bully kept on pulling her friend(')s hair.
Beautiful job - the way this read was in an easy sing song flow. The end came as a bit of a surprise -- but I have to assume that mom was really cheering on the inside - even if only a little. Fun stuff!
Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Dear Mystery Poet,
Oh, my. I totally understand the temptation to smack that guy! It's funny, I might not stick up for myself enough to slap or punch or even chew out -- but you better not mess with my buddies.
One small note:
--> As the bully kept on pulling her friend(')s hair.
Beautiful job - the way this read was in an easy sing song flow. The end came as a bit of a surprise -- but I have to assume that mom was really cheering on the inside - even if only a little. Fun stuff!
Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 19-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing this little girl's dilemma. She should have told the teacher but the teacher knew what was going on and did nothing.
Comment from lyenochka
It really isn't fair. If the boy was teasing, she should have bloodied his nose. (I'm not usually violent! ð???) But why would she be grounded? I guess she must have done something to get a bloody nose. Sounds like a good friend to have. She defends her friends.
typo in your description:
"A youngsters delema" (youngster's dilemma)
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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It really isn't fair. If the boy was teasing, she should have bloodied his nose. (I'm not usually violent! ð???) But why would she be grounded? I guess she must have done something to get a bloody nose. Sounds like a good friend to have. She defends her friends.
typo in your description:
"A youngsters delema" (youngster's dilemma)
Comment Written 19-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing this little girl's dilemma. She should have told the teacher but the teacher knew what was going on and did nothing.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh, those school situations that shape us for life, yeah? :/ :/ A wonderful collection of rhyming couplets for the contest here -- thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Oh, those school situations that shape us for life, yeah? :/ :/ A wonderful collection of rhyming couplets for the contest here -- thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
Comment Written 19-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Yes, they do help to shape us for life whether for a positive or negative result. I thank you for reviewing and for your kind comments.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
(youngsters delema s/b youngster's dilemma; her friends hair s/b friend's) Why was the victim was grounded--esp. girl hit by boy? Nice piece. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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(youngsters delema s/b youngster's dilemma; her friends hair s/b friend's) Why was the victim was grounded--esp. girl hit by boy? Nice piece. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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The girl who intervened waa grounded as her dress was ruined. Mom said she should have told the teacher and not tried to remedy the situation herself. I had waited and the teacher was watching but did nothing so wanted to help my friend. Big lesson in life. Thanks for reviewing. Not all situations are fair...lol
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Cheers for you!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well, that's what the consensus is that boys 9men) shouldn't hit girls (women). Fast forward to abuse by men on their partners. However, you contest entry reads well, Mystery Author. I like the rhyming, the smooth flow, the image, and image. Defending friends can, and does, take courage that some don't understand.
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Well, that's what the consensus is that boys 9men) shouldn't hit girls (women). Fast forward to abuse by men on their partners. However, you contest entry reads well, Mystery Author. I like the rhyming, the smooth flow, the image, and image. Defending friends can, and does, take courage that some don't understand.
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing. Still, the boy hits girl thing goes on eh?
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This poem speaks about defending bullying school girls' hair, teacher tempted to defend but failed; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Typo: delema (dilemma)
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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This poem speaks about defending bullying school girls' hair, teacher tempted to defend but failed; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Typo: delema (dilemma)
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing. Still, the boy hits girl thing goes on eh?