Hot Dogs, French Fries, Lemonade!
An ode to a hot dog stand.130 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
Excellent photo to complement your poem. An Ode to a hot dog, French fries and lemonade. I love the choice of entry for this contest. Original. And it is about the things most of us like. I enjoyed the stanza with prolonging the time best. Best wishes for he prompt.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Excellent photo to complement your poem. An Ode to a hot dog, French fries and lemonade. I love the choice of entry for this contest. Original. And it is about the things most of us like. I enjoyed the stanza with prolonging the time best. Best wishes for he prompt.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you, robina1978, for your kind review. I am glad you enjoyed my stanza about prolonging and savoring the moment. Thank you for the contest well wishes, too.
Comment from Chunger
Great poem about a fun memory. I specifically enjoyed the way you have played with spacing and sizing of each word in the poem. It shows purpose and emotion on top of what each word is actually signifying. Great job.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Great poem about a fun memory. I specifically enjoyed the way you have played with spacing and sizing of each word in the poem. It shows purpose and emotion on top of what each word is actually signifying. Great job.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Yes, Chunger, given that this began as a spoken word poem which I have on video I played with the spacing and sizing of the words to make them sound the way I spoke them. I prolong "one at a time" as long as possible when I recite my poem. Thank you for your review.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Poet,
Your ode poem is really nice. I guess I've never tried writing one before. I don't know if I could. Every ode poem I wrote sounded different. The hot dogs, French fries, and lemonade sure sounds good and they're making me hungry.
Kat
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Hi Poet,
Your ode poem is really nice. I guess I've never tried writing one before. I don't know if I could. Every ode poem I wrote sounded different. The hot dogs, French fries, and lemonade sure sounds good and they're making me hungry.
Kat
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Yes, Kat, I am glad my poem made you hungry. Thank you for your review.
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Hi Poet,
Yes I had to get off the computer and fix something to eat. I never get back on it till now.
Kat
Comment from rama devi
Thanks for your interesting author's notes in this walk-down-memory-lane poem. Good detail and context (and picture with round red stools and Hollywood cemented stars to boot!)
This is a stand-out stanza (not one suggestions for dramatic pause effect):
Nothing tastes as sweet
as memories relished again(--)
or as bitter.
I like the playful word play with
to pro-looong the moment
and
Ice cubes mmm-e-l-t.
Very ee cummings-eqsue
One spag nit here...in tense mixing:
and we nibbled our red hot dogs
as red tour buses pass.
Suggest:
and we nibbled our red hot dogs
as red tour buses passed.
Pitch perfect closing:
I imprint this memory on my mind,
like footprints
at Grauman's Chinese Theatre.
Nice parallel imagery and metaphor.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thanks for your interesting author's notes in this walk-down-memory-lane poem. Good detail and context (and picture with round red stools and Hollywood cemented stars to boot!)
This is a stand-out stanza (not one suggestions for dramatic pause effect):
Nothing tastes as sweet
as memories relished again(--)
or as bitter.
I like the playful word play with
to pro-looong the moment
and
Ice cubes mmm-e-l-t.
Very ee cummings-eqsue
One spag nit here...in tense mixing:
and we nibbled our red hot dogs
as red tour buses pass.
Suggest:
and we nibbled our red hot dogs
as red tour buses passed.
Pitch perfect closing:
I imprint this memory on my mind,
like footprints
at Grauman's Chinese Theatre.
Nice parallel imagery and metaphor.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you, rama devi, for your fine review. I have a lot of ee cummings in this poem. Thanks for the spag alert. I made the corrections. Once again, thanks for your detailed review.
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I love EEC! :) Thanks for your kind response. Warmly, rd
Comment from thee-name
Excellent poem. I enjoyed reading your humor writing.
I imprint this memory only mind,
like footprints
at Grumman's Chinese Theater.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Excellent poem. I enjoyed reading your humor writing.
I imprint this memory only mind,
like footprints
at Grumman's Chinese Theater.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you, thee-name, I am glad you enjoyed reading my poem.
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thank you!
Comment from rjuselius
This is an entertaining piece of poetic art dear anonymous! I have never been to the U.S. but learned about the popular culture from TV.
This sounds like a great and iconic piece of history.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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This is an entertaining piece of poetic art dear anonymous! I have never been to the U.S. but learned about the popular culture from TV.
This sounds like a great and iconic piece of history.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you, rjuselius, for your kind review of my "entertaining piece of poetic art." Thank you for reviewing and for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I enjoyed this fun, light
hearted poem about Hot Dogs,
French Fries and Lemonade.
a good entry for your contest.
Good luck to you.
Margaret
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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I enjoyed this fun, light
hearted poem about Hot Dogs,
French Fries and Lemonade.
a good entry for your contest.
Good luck to you.
Margaret
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Yes, Margaret, I kept this poem fun and light. Whenever I go to a "serious" poetry reading filled with grave poet, I enjoyed springing this poem on them and getting a laugh. Thank you for your review and contest well wishes.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this free style poem about the hot dog stand that sticks out in your mind. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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this is an excellent write, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this free style poem about the hot dog stand that sticks out in your mind. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you, sweetwoodjax, I enjoyed performing the poem more than writing it. I adapted my poem to the page to make it sound like the way I recited it. I had a lot of fun in the process. Thank you for reading it and for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This one makes me hungry for these goodies: hot dogs, french fries and lemonade. I catch on to the long "prolong" and the melting ice cubes. Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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This one makes me hungry for these goodies: hot dogs, french fries and lemonade. I catch on to the long "prolong" and the melting ice cubes. Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Yes, this poem makes me hungry, too. When I perform this poem at open mics, I drag out "prolong" as long as possible and I mmmelt those ice cubes. I play with language and have fun. Thank you, Jeanie, for your review and contest well wishes.
Comment from Pantygynt
Strange I should come to this straight after Artemis' latest post about childood as this moves us on into teenage years. At that point the cultural divide between the USA an the UK kicks in mainly in the archicture and perhaps the foodstuffs on offer. For me this stage took place in the second half of the 1950s and the early 60s ind it was coffee bars though the younger ones and the girls would go for milk shakes.
For me it was the Home of everything conservative Tunbridge Wells, but at that age we were still rebels. At the time it seemed to last for ever but it was only a few short year fefore the pubs and a different sort of society stole our teenage years.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Strange I should come to this straight after Artemis' latest post about childood as this moves us on into teenage years. At that point the cultural divide between the USA an the UK kicks in mainly in the archicture and perhaps the foodstuffs on offer. For me this stage took place in the second half of the 1950s and the early 60s ind it was coffee bars though the younger ones and the girls would go for milk shakes.
For me it was the Home of everything conservative Tunbridge Wells, but at that age we were still rebels. At the time it seemed to last for ever but it was only a few short year fefore the pubs and a different sort of society stole our teenage years.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Pantygynt , for you kind review of my poem and for your memories of your teenage years.