Hot Dogs, French Fries, Lemonade!
An ode to a hot dog stand.130 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Well, "SC", there's more than enough to give away your identity here than the exclusion of a video. For one, your style of writing is pretty unmistakable. For another, not many record themselves performing in poetry slams, especially not in the bay area.
Regardless of that, There are memories which time simply cannot erase. Not unless some horrid illness of the mind, like Alzheimer's or dementia, steal them away from us.
God forbid!
Skooby's Hot Dogs looks like a pretty good place to have a doggone good time. Hey, if the food is good, and better than Pinky's, then why not eat at Skoobs instead.
Good alliteration with "stools stood on stars." That could even be interpreted in a couple of different ways.
Good use of enjambment all throughout this piece, and you set the stage well with your vivid imagery and elegant word choices. Sounds like a place to unwind, and enjoy a good "barker." WOOF, lol...
Nice work, "A". Good luck in your contest. ~Dean :}
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Well, "SC", there's more than enough to give away your identity here than the exclusion of a video. For one, your style of writing is pretty unmistakable. For another, not many record themselves performing in poetry slams, especially not in the bay area.
Regardless of that, There are memories which time simply cannot erase. Not unless some horrid illness of the mind, like Alzheimer's or dementia, steal them away from us.
God forbid!
Skooby's Hot Dogs looks like a pretty good place to have a doggone good time. Hey, if the food is good, and better than Pinky's, then why not eat at Skoobs instead.
Good alliteration with "stools stood on stars." That could even be interpreted in a couple of different ways.
Good use of enjambment all throughout this piece, and you set the stage well with your vivid imagery and elegant word choices. Sounds like a place to unwind, and enjoy a good "barker." WOOF, lol...
Nice work, "A". Good luck in your contest. ~Dean :}
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Darn it, you guessed who I am. I did not realize I had a recognizable style. I should keep my mouth shut next time about Bay Area poetry slams. Thanks for the inspiration for the mmmelting ice cubes. I am thrilled that you enjoyed my poem. Thanks for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from royowen
Nicely composed and scribed in a lyrical quality, which really fulfil the requirements. I rather enjoyed this great entry in this contest, you've done extremely well with this fine entry, well done. Good luck, blessings,
Roy.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Nicely composed and scribed in a lyrical quality, which really fulfil the requirements. I rather enjoyed this great entry in this contest, you've done extremely well with this fine entry, well done. Good luck, blessings,
Roy.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Roy, for your fine review. I am glad you enjoyed my poem. Thanks for wishing me good luck in the contest.
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Most welcome
Comment from watergirl
I liked your poem about fond memories of times places and people. You make it an interesting read with both the content and the layout which has merit all it's own - you emphasise the melting of icecubes and the phrase one at a time. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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I liked your poem about fond memories of times places and people. You make it an interesting read with both the content and the layout which has merit all it's own - you emphasise the melting of icecubes and the phrase one at a time. Well done.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Yes, watergirl, when I performed this poem, I stretched out the pauses between "one at a time" to convey that we are eating fries slowly. I adding "m's" to "mmmelt" the ice cubes. I try to convey my spoken techniques to the page. I like seeing the letters of "melt" get smaller. I am glad my memories of time and place provided you with an interesting read.
Comment from Jackarrie
I really enjoyed reading this ode to "Hot dogs, french fries, and lemonade. It brings you back to wonderful memories of your Mother with her very interesting name "yeller gal" Scooby's looks like a real cool place to have a meal with friends. It must have a magical feel to be surrounded by all the stars old and new. I found it really interesting that you have performed this in front of audiences.
Well done,
Good luck in the contest. Jackarrie
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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I really enjoyed reading this ode to "Hot dogs, french fries, and lemonade. It brings you back to wonderful memories of your Mother with her very interesting name "yeller gal" Scooby's looks like a real cool place to have a meal with friends. It must have a magical feel to be surrounded by all the stars old and new. I found it really interesting that you have performed this in front of audiences.
Well done,
Good luck in the contest. Jackarrie
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Yes, Jackarrie, I had a blast eating at Skooby's and when performing this poem in Las Vegas! Yes, the hot dog stand is a magical place surrounded by stars and memories. Thanks for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from Eric1
Hi mystery author, this is a really excellent entry for this particular competition, Beautifully penned with a lot of emphasis in the speech effects, I wish you all the best in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Hi mystery author, this is a really excellent entry for this particular competition, Beautifully penned with a lot of emphasis in the speech effects, I wish you all the best in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Yes, Eric1, I watched my video of my performance of this poem and challenged myself to reformat the poem to convey the speech effects I used. I prolonged prolong as long as possible, I stretched the pauses in "one at a time," and I "mmmelted" ice cubes. I am glad my poem works on the page as well as on the stage. Thanks for your review and contest well wishes.
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You are welcome my friend
Comment from Realist101
Excellent! I do wish this were a story tho! Because there's so much detail you could share!!! Love this tho and wish too that I could go there. Nice work!! S.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Excellent! I do wish this were a story tho! Because there's so much detail you could share!!! Love this tho and wish too that I could go there. Nice work!! S.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Realist101, for your kind review. Yes, I noticed at poetry reading a preference for story poems, often serious. I enjoy lobbing this poem at poetry readings because it is a lot more fun than the "serous" poetry I hear. My poem is a collection of tastes, sights, sounds, and memories. Thanks for your review.
Comment from LeslieP5
I live in Hollywood and how is it I have never heard of Skookbe's Hot Dogs, Fries and Lemonaide before". PInks, yes. Now after your Ode, I must try to make my own memories there. Inviting poem with some suggestive undertones. Well done!
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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I live in Hollywood and how is it I have never heard of Skookbe's Hot Dogs, Fries and Lemonaide before". PInks, yes. Now after your Ode, I must try to make my own memories there. Inviting poem with some suggestive undertones. Well done!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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You live in Hollywood and you never heard of Skooby's? Yes, make your own memories at Skooby's and find your own suggestive undertones. Thanks for your review.
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You're welcome and I definitely will check out Skookbe's. Do you live in Hollywood or Los Angeles now?
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No, I live near San Francisco, but I visit LA several times a year. When in Hollywood, I stop by Skooby's
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You're welcome and I definitely will check out Skookbe's. Do you live in Hollywood or Los Angeles now?
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No, I live near San Francisco, but I visit Los Angeles several times s year because I have family there.
Comment from Amy Greta
I love your Ode poem, and the fact that you are paying tribute to a hotdog stand....so classic yet completely original! You so expertly described your old hangout and it felt like I was right there with you slowly eating fries on the Hollywood walk of Fame. I also love the mention of your mother's pies and your lemon tree. Excellent piece!
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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I love your Ode poem, and the fact that you are paying tribute to a hotdog stand....so classic yet completely original! You so expertly described your old hangout and it felt like I was right there with you slowly eating fries on the Hollywood walk of Fame. I also love the mention of your mother's pies and your lemon tree. Excellent piece!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Amy, for your fine review. People take hot dog stands for granted until there is no one around when you need them. I am glad you found my Ode "so classic yet completely original!" Thanks again.
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hi, Excellent effort capturing the dimension of grub within the context of Hollywood entertainment. Delicious, fantastic and amusing portrayal over the location of hot dog stand. Cheers.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Hi, Excellent effort capturing the dimension of grub within the context of Hollywood entertainment. Delicious, fantastic and amusing portrayal over the location of hot dog stand. Cheers.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Benjamin, your review put a smile on my face. It is my poem's first review and a sixer. I much appreciate it. Thanks.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi...
_ Indeed, I remember all this you speak of.
_ I saw 'Mutiny On The Bounty' at Grauman's.
_ This was a fun read, and great entry.
_ Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Hi...
_ Indeed, I remember all this you speak of.
_ I saw 'Mutiny On The Bounty' at Grauman's.
_ This was a fun read, and great entry.
_ Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Jax, those who have been to Hollywood or those who want to go there as tourists or stars have many fond memories and dreams of the place. Thank you for your review and contest well wishes.