Regain
A Pleiades poem22 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
These seven lines seem to be encouragement to go after dreams once though lost or unattainable. Redefining goals can make them more reachable.
You followed the form well.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
  |
These seven lines seem to be encouragement to go after dreams once though lost or unattainable. Redefining goals can make them more reachable.
You followed the form well.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful review, very much appreciated****kahpot
-
You are most kindly welcome, Kahpot.
Joan
Comment from Boogienights
This is so well done and has an inspiring message of never giving up. I've tried this form of poetry before, but not as well as you have. Thank you for sharing. :)
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
|
This is so well done and has an inspiring message of never giving up. I've tried this form of poetry before, but not as well as you have. Thank you for sharing. :)
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
-
Thank you very much, not we should not give up, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear kapot, I can see that you are becoming very adept at writing these pleiades.. As you can see, you can write on almost any subject using this particular poetry dance. I hope you have fun, Working with this one. I am just waiting for you to get intrigued, with Odes or Sonnets.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
|
Dear kapot, I can see that you are becoming very adept at writing these pleiades.. As you can see, you can write on almost any subject using this particular poetry dance. I hope you have fun, Working with this one. I am just waiting for you to get intrigued, with Odes or Sonnets.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
-
Thank you very much, I have had a couple attempts at sonnets but as yet they just haven't clicked, I keep missing the flow or something like that, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from AnnaLinda
Kym,
You did a fantastic job on your Pleiades poem. I have yet to try that form.
You've selected a lot of great "R" words to express a very positive overall message. Your internal rhyme is appreciated in this line:
"revive the drive that brought you here"
I think you need an apostrophe in this line:
"restore your dreams of *youths potential"
(youth's) potential unless you mean plural (youths')
I'm so happy you received an exceptional on this - it's deserving.
I might agree with your one reviewer that a bit of punctuation
would help. In the following line you have 2 thoughts which
could be separated by a semi-colon.
"reset ambitions(;) it's never too late"
And, I think quotation marks would help here:
"restrain the thought of "I cannot"
Hope you don't mind my input. This is an
amazing poem and message. I need to
take the wise advice offered within it.
AnnaLinda
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
|
Kym,
You did a fantastic job on your Pleiades poem. I have yet to try that form.
You've selected a lot of great "R" words to express a very positive overall message. Your internal rhyme is appreciated in this line:
"revive the drive that brought you here"
I think you need an apostrophe in this line:
"restore your dreams of *youths potential"
(youth's) potential unless you mean plural (youths')
I'm so happy you received an exceptional on this - it's deserving.
I might agree with your one reviewer that a bit of punctuation
would help. In the following line you have 2 thoughts which
could be separated by a semi-colon.
"reset ambitions(;) it's never too late"
And, I think quotation marks would help here:
"restrain the thought of "I cannot"
Hope you don't mind my input. This is an
amazing poem and message. I need to
take the wise advice offered within it.
AnnaLinda
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
-
Thank you very much, I never mind input that I can understand and that comes with a reason, I do get a bit grumpy sometimes and I know it is my lack of understanding that causes it, should have gone to school a bit longer, I am working on that, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
-
Understandable...when someone throws a four and is not clear it is disheartening.
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are uplifting, clear, encouraging and creative. I pondered on these words. Positive encouragement is so needed today!
The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is great and compliments
this poem.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
|
The author's words are uplifting, clear, encouraging and creative. I pondered on these words. Positive encouragement is so needed today!
The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is great and compliments
this poem.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
-
Thank you for these wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This poem is so beautiful that it made me smile AND tear up! It is superb in every respect. The "r" words are all well-chosen, and the message is one of enthusuastic encouragement. THANK YOU for honoring me in the notes! :-)
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
 |
This poem is so beautiful that it made me smile AND tear up! It is superb in every respect. The "r" words are all well-chosen, and the message is one of enthusuastic encouragement. THANK YOU for honoring me in the notes! :-)
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
-
Thank you for the inspiration, new/unknown forms seem to find my muse, I am so very happy I could do this form justice, as always very much appreciated-and a six from the tutor, I shall sleep well tonight****kahpot
Comment from June Sargent
We do have to set the reset button now and then to revise or renew our goals in life. When challenges come up, we cannot just give up on our dreams. We need to revive them and rise to the challenge. Thank you for the worthy reminder.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
|
We do have to set the reset button now and then to revise or renew our goals in life. When challenges come up, we cannot just give up on our dreams. We need to revive them and rise to the challenge. Thank you for the worthy reminder.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
-
Thank you very much for such an understanding revThankiew, ways very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Kerry L Batchelder
Not only is the structure to be admired but the message as well in its reminder to reach for those goals we once set. I also love the illustration. It all fits so perfectly!
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
|
Not only is the structure to be admired but the message as well in its reminder to reach for those goals we once set. I also love the illustration. It all fits so perfectly!
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
-
Thank you for you wonderful review and comments, very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Chris Fruge
I enjoyed this piece a lot and felt it had a lot of potential. From a personal note, I felt there were a few areas to improve, most of it simple things, but please take the comments lightly as they reflect my personal insights: I felt the piece could benefit from some punctuation to help the reader take pause. I also think 'youths potential' should be 'youth's potential'. Finally, I also had challenges following the last line 'restrain the thought of I cannot
remind yourself the world's still yours'; 'remind yourself the world's still yours' is great but it just didn't seem (to me) to fit with the first part of the sentence. Best wishes
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
 |
I enjoyed this piece a lot and felt it had a lot of potential. From a personal note, I felt there were a few areas to improve, most of it simple things, but please take the comments lightly as they reflect my personal insights: I felt the piece could benefit from some punctuation to help the reader take pause. I also think 'youths potential' should be 'youth's potential'. Finally, I also had challenges following the last line 'restrain the thought of I cannot
remind yourself the world's still yours'; 'remind yourself the world's still yours' is great but it just didn't seem (to me) to fit with the first part of the sentence. Best wishes
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
-
Thank you very much for your constructive comments, Youth as in Youth-is -or, where does that make sense, if the world is "still" not yours what are you doing-living in past memories? I do understand your feedback, but feel a bit sorry if for you if your life is yet to be****kahpot
Comment from Ritasher
I like your idea - as I understand, it's about inspiring to become a better version of yourself. :) However, I think it lacks some originality or just something that would make this poem pop - I mostly see just some banal phrases aligned. But I also see you've put in some work to make it a Pleiades poem, so it's four, not three stars. Good luck to you, I hope you will understand my point of view here. :)
Sincerely, Rita.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
|
I like your idea - as I understand, it's about inspiring to become a better version of yourself. :) However, I think it lacks some originality or just something that would make this poem pop - I mostly see just some banal phrases aligned. But I also see you've put in some work to make it a Pleiades poem, so it's four, not three stars. Good luck to you, I hope you will understand my point of view here. :)
Sincerely, Rita.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
-
It is not about becoming a better version of ones self, it is about accepting who you are, unfortunately I just read "banal" understanding, if I could I would say your view is of no use or help to me ****kahpot
-
Well, I am just doing my best in being honest about my reviews, sorry if I didn't understand it the right way.
I checked out your other work and I really do like it, this one just lacks something original for me - so I'm being honest to myself first and then you. I am really not here to insult you. :)
-
I am not insulted, your critique is your own, I am happy you expressed your feelings, it was (to me) the wording that made me feel I had not given it my all, it was my first attempt at this form, I like to try the different, please take no offence to my reply, your best is welcome on my page anytime****kahpot
-
Good to know! Sorry and thanks for clarifying - I will choose words more carefully next time!
-
You are very welcome and thank you for bearing with me, I do get confused