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Return To Concorde Valley

Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "Twin Dilemma "
Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.

20 total reviews 
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

No!! They can't go to the dark side. Something else has to be available. What about saving their ancestors and the valley. I can't wait to read the next post. Thank you for sharing. Great read!!!

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024
    Thank you so very much for the six stars, my friend!! They are so helpful!

    Don?t worry, they aren?t going to the dark side, they are just getting help from Hypnos and Thanatos, which are, innately, good guys. If the guys can prove their metal, these two very powerful beings will help the fight Hades, who they are not afraid of.
Comment from Teri7
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Rhonda, This is a very exciting and interesting chapter. It had me on the edge of my chair as I was reading it. You used great descriptive words and great imagery from your words. I do hope they get to Adam in time, and they end up getting rid of the devil! Great job. love and blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024
    Hi Teri,
    Thank you so much for the 6 stars, my friend. I?m so glad you liked it. I?m glad the imagery and descriptions worked. They?ll have some challenges ahead, but I?m sure Theo isn?t going to let his brother drown, lol.
    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, this was a dramatic ending to this chapter and quite a revelation as well. We have known all along who the love of Theo is but now we know who the the love of Hermes is as well. I can't wait to reading on, Rhonda. A big hug, Ulla xcx

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
    Hi Ulla! Thank you for the six stars, my friend! Yeah, Hermes didn?t want to let that one slip by, but Theo had his cousin figured out, now if their camaraderie can sustain them through their challenges ahead?

    Big hug back,
    Rhonda
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This engaging chapter is very well structured not least for its variation of style with the contents of the letter. This cleverly shifts the scene, sustaining interest whilst conveying still more detail about the story. Dialogue, as ever, is excellent, building more character and warming us to the speakers. This is a work of art on many levels but I particularly enjoy the informative reference to mythological figures which introduce such richness and class here! Well done! Debbie
Some small edits below:

It's w(r)itten in an ancient tongue
endeav(ou)r or endeav(o)r?
He (cut his eyes over at Hermes?) This sounds a bit awkward to me. Should it be "glanced sharply over at Hermes"?

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024
    Hi Debbie,
    Thank you for the six stars, my friend!
    Thank you, as well, for all your comments. I?m glad the change in text conveyed the effect I was trying for. I?m glad the mythological characters seem realistic and add to the flavor of the plot.

    Also important is finding the spag. Sometimes I laugh at my errors, other times they are things I truly messed up on, like endeavors. Those e?s and o?s!
    Thank you so much,
    Rhonda
Comment from Sally Law
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Another exceptional chapter, my friend! Wow, this was SO exciting and suspenseful with a cliffhanger ending. Dang those sleepy Gods, Hypnos and Thanatos! It was nice to hear of Theo's love for Echo and devotion to Adam. I'm a hopefless romamric or should I say, hopeful romantic. Rooting for love to prevail.
Sending you my best today as always, dear Rhonda, and love and blessings across the bridge.
Sal XOs

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024
    Hi Sally,
    Thank you so much for the six stars. How brightly they've lit up my morning, dear one!
    I can't believe I actually had it ready on time this week. I've discovered a secret - keep it short, lol. It helps me iron out the interactions and makes it easier on the readers. Can't say I'll always follow my own advice, but it worked this week, lol.

    Yes, hopeless romantic, I decided to interject a little love back into the plot. Poor Theo has been a bit overshadowed by Hades and Georgios of late. We mustn't forget the main heartthrob in all this. Also revealing a different side of Hermes, who one had to wonder why he was so vested in this adventure.
    Thank you so much for the stars and the read. When can we look forward to your next post?
    Much love across the bridge,
    Rhonda
reply by Sally Law on 09-Jun-2024
    You are so welcome, my friend! I look forward to this every week. It's my get-lost-in-it-treat! Love ya! Sal XOs
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
    Awww, so sweet! I?m glad I actually got it out on time. Can?t wait for your next chapter!
    Much love! ❤️
Comment from Begin Again
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Bravo! Another wonderful and intriguing chapter, Rhonda. Very well done and quite entertaining. These Gods are like spoiled brats, aren't they? Each of them wanting something extreme in return for their help. And one must wonder if they can be trusted once they take immortality away from Theo and Hermes. Of course, love can give powers when none exist. Can't wait to read more.
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024
    Hi Carol,
    Yes, they are brats, lol. The twins, on the other hand, have a higher purpose. They are used to dealing with the gods, who tend to take the easy way out. They want these two to prove they have a right to leadership, and the only way to do that is to put them through trials they otherwise could take the easy way out of. The twin's are going to prove to be complicated characters, but with more caring for the world than they pretend.

    Thank you for the beautiful 6 stars, my friend! They were most welcome this morning, and always.
    I'm still reading on your story. I should get more steam now that I have the chapter posted.
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Pamusart
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi, davisr

All I can say is wow. I don't particularly like Science Fiction. But the skill with which you put this together as incredible. I couldn't find a single mistake and believe me I looked hard, and everything was professional. You included a great cast characters. With detailed descriptions of each character. I'm very impressed.

If I had a six star reading, I would give it to you for this

Great job! Thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024
    Pam, thank you so much for the supportive review, and for taking the chance of Science Fiction. It isn't for everyone, that's for sure, but you went out of your comfort zone to try it out. I also appreciate you looking for errors. That's invaluable to a writer!! I try really hard by editing and revising for hours to try and iron it all out, but usually, still, miss some things. I don't post as often as some on this site as a result, but it's important to me to have all my ducks in a row.
    I appreciate the virtual 6. That means a lot.
    Take care,
    Rhonda
reply by Pamusart on 09-Jun-2024
    Welcome. All of your eccoets paid off!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
    Thank you!
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Can Hypnos (sleep) and Thanatos (death) be trusted? I would think that this would be a trap. It was nice that Theo and Hermes had that heart-to-heart chat. And now we know that Hermes also has a love motivation to protect Concord Valley.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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 Comment Written 09-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024
    Hi Helen! To be honest, I don't think any of those beings can be trusted, but trust isn't the issue here, survival is. They have set some pretty difficult tasks for the pair to prove their metal. The gifts at the end will be the final test.
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Nicole Schmidt
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Georgios pulled her into a warm embrace. "Yes, little sparrow, because you escaped a fire as devastating as the one that took my mother and sister's lives. In a way, helping you is helping them."

A single tear slipped through Echo's eye and rolled down her cheek. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Entertaining straight through

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024
    Thank you so much, Nicole!! I'm glad you stopped by on my late night post.
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I won't pretend to know what is going on with your story, but I do know it is well written. Very well written and it is written by a gem of a woman who is so sweet and talented. I truly love reading you and I love your hunky guys too. JK. LOL

Thanks for preparing me for the next to come. I just want you to know I do watch for you every time I see you post. So lovely job on this and wish I had started in th beginning. Thanks Hon!! Love, Debi

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024
    Debi, you are so sweet to review my work, even if it's stepping in the middle of a book with a ton of chapters. I will start another one before you know it, or throw in a chapter for the teacher book I started but haven't done much with.
    You're a sweetheart!!
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
reply by Debi Pick Marquette on 09-Jun-2024
    Hey, you are welcome. If you are still up, my post could use a Christian friend.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024
    Wink!