Reviews from

Magnificent

Youth, Imagination and Energy. A winning combination.

28 total reviews 
Comment from F. William Lester
Excellent
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You've got the seventy-five words nailed. I can see the boy's anticipation, waiting to test his creation. I can hear his glee in the first test run. Nice work. Thanks for sharing it. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2024
    Thanks so much for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read. Yes, all the planning, building and testing paid off. What a feeling.
    Take care and have a wonderful day.
    Regards
    Barry Penfold.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Excellent
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I remember playing with my barbies outside in the back yard. It was fun to imagine them going on an adventure or living off the land. I like the endless possibilities of this kids imagination. Gretchen

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
    Gretchen,
    Thanks so much for your review. Glad you enjoyed it. Yes, children's imagination is just so pure, so original. You take care and have a wonderful day.
    Cheers
    Barry Penfold.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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A very satisfying read in this economic word format. There's nothing like a child's imagination and then to use it to create something of such fun and exhilaration! Nicely done, Barry! Good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
    Debbie,
    Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read. Let's see how it goes for the contest. Thanks for the best wishes and have a great day.
    Cheers
    Barry
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
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Great job, Barry. You've obviously put a lot of thought into this post. I can see the little boy, perhaps you, drawing out the track of a bicycle trail. Planning for days, drawing it out, executing the ride.

Suggestion: on,leg over,bum - You need spaces after the commas.

Best of luck in the contest,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
    Rhonda,
    Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read. Thanks also for the punctuation correction and best wishes.
    All the very best.
    Barry
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 22-Jun-2024
    You're welcome. I always make errors, not matter how many times I read and reread. It was great!!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
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A beginning, a middle, and an ending in seventy-five words. Quite a challenge. In many cases it's a good thing that the title and the Author's Notes are not factored in.
Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
    Wayne,
    Thanks for your review and I am glad you enjoyed the read. I agree that it is good that Authors notes and Title are not factored in. This was a tight squeeze.
    Regards
    Barry
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Excellent
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An excellent entry for the 75 Words Flash Fiction contest. There is nothing better than the imagination of a child and the fun it can bring. I good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
    Marilyn,
    Thanks so much for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read. Yes, children do have wonderful imaginations. Take care and have a wonderful day.
    Regards
    Barry
Comment from Pamusart
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Hi, Barry

This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!

Oh, the joys of childhood. I remember using a tricycle. And bicycle training wheels that was probably my first bicycle and then getting a more adult bike, but it was only one speed and there were a lot of hills around. Of course we lived in a remote area for a lot of my bike riding days but, I was not allowed to go off the property.

It became my main mode of transportation when I lived in Santa Barbara. There are only a couple of places where the hills are too big.

I like the way you wrote it I think it's well written grabs your attention

I'm sorry. I don't know what a bike track is. Do you mind telling me?

I enjoyed reading your story

Good job. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
    Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read. Seems as though you do have a long history with bikes. A bike track is something that is constructed on a vacant block of land and has humps, bumps and long stretches.The idea is simply ride whatever bike and have fun. The faster you can go, the better.
    Hope that helps.
    Take care
    Barry Penfold.
Comment from Rene Tyo
Excellent
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Very cohesive story using so few words. There is an excitement that builds from the first few words and into the finale. This is a great example of how a simple idea can be conveyed into a meaningful story, well done.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
    Rene,
    Thanks for your review, and I am glad you enjoyed the read. Yes a lot of action in so few words.
    Take care
    Barry Penfold.
Comment from Sharon Elwell
Excellent
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I like thinking about this moment in a child's life. The first sentence confused me, because I couldn't figure out why the stick was still moving if the path was already cleared. Good work!

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2024
    Sharon,
    Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read. Yes, they were good days riding the bike. Take care and have a great day.
    Regards
    Barry Penfold.
Comment from tfawcus
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This just goes to show how much more satisfaction you get from achieving something for yourself rather than having it ready done for you. Great to see a youngster discovering that. I enjoyed your post.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2024
    Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read. Doing it yourself can be the best thing. Take care and have a wonderful day.
    Cheers
    Barry Penfold.