MADHOUSE
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Beth Is Kidnapped!"A Day at Sea World
16 total reviews
Comment from Ritsal
You've definitely got my attention here. Great chapter, clean and fast moving...
Okay, draw me a word picture and tell me what this guy looks like."
[I'd add a little more here of the guy sketching, etc.] or break it up with a time lapse
* * *
Sam Hudson emerged with such vivid accuracy, Molly gasped. "That's him, sir. Exactly."
Does the Amber Alert thing really happen that fast - getting the photo up and all? And she'd only been gone less than two hours... seems to be moving a little fast.
Best wishes,
Rita
reply by the author on 12-May-2008
You've definitely got my attention here. Great chapter, clean and fast moving...
Okay, draw me a word picture and tell me what this guy looks like."
[I'd add a little more here of the guy sketching, etc.] or break it up with a time lapse
Sam Hudson emerged with such vivid accuracy, Molly gasped. "That's him, sir. Exactly."
Does the Amber Alert thing really happen that fast - getting the photo up and all? And she'd only been gone less than two hours... seems to be moving a little fast.
Best wishes,
Rita
Comment Written 12-May-2008
reply by the author on 12-May-2008
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Hey Rita,
Yes, they know time is of the essence. Once they get the report, a picture and description, they get it up through computer. Really doesn't take much time to do it. With the computer and Homeland Security measures, it's very quick.
Let me see if I can expand things a bit here without getting wordy! LOL!
Hugs,
Gayle
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might be easier just to add some asterisks. :)
Comment from Rainbow Writer
Although I'm not familiar with the rest of the book, I enjoyed the chapter and it flowed really well. I think you write extremely well and I could see no nits.
Good place to end, makes us want to read on - what a terrifying situation.
Emma
reply by the author on 12-May-2008
Although I'm not familiar with the rest of the book, I enjoyed the chapter and it flowed really well. I think you write extremely well and I could see no nits.
Good place to end, makes us want to read on - what a terrifying situation.
Emma
Comment Written 12-May-2008
reply by the author on 12-May-2008
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Hi Emma,
Luckily you came into the book early enough that you can catch up ifyou want to.
I hope to see you again and thanks for the fine R&R.
Gayle
Comment from Korton
This is definitely an earth shaking and horrifying experience for all involved. No doubt Beth's parents are in shock as are Molly's. The police are performing admirably in this situation. Hopefully it won't be long before they get a lead. Very well done.
reply by the author on 12-May-2008
This is definitely an earth shaking and horrifying experience for all involved. No doubt Beth's parents are in shock as are Molly's. The police are performing admirably in this situation. Hopefully it won't be long before they get a lead. Very well done.
Comment Written 12-May-2008
reply by the author on 12-May-2008
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Hey Frank,
Dear me, can you imagine being in that situation for real? Sad to say, it's virtually a daily occurence in this country.
I hope they find him soon, too.
Gayle
Comment from RossJM
Oh, my God. You got me pinned to the screen, reading your story. Excellent development, Gayle. Can't wait until the next chapter comes out.
Don't keep us in suspence too long, or we'll go nuts.
*Smile*
Regards,
Ross
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reply by the author on 12-May-2008
Oh, my God. You got me pinned to the screen, reading your story. Excellent development, Gayle. Can't wait until the next chapter comes out.
Don't keep us in suspence too long, or we'll go nuts.
*Smile*
Regards,
Ross
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Comment Written 12-May-2008
reply by the author on 12-May-2008
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Hey Ross,
This is scary, isn't it. I have to take a deliberate breather every once in a while or I get overwhelmed. The story is just flowing!
Thanks for the super duper R&R and your fine rating.
Gayle
Comment from Janet65
Hi Showtimebook,
Wow, what an exciting story. Everything is right on track, and the suspense is great. I hope I get to read the next chapter of this novel. The story flows well, with events occurring in a natural order.
The dialogue is very natural, and I can see the story in my mind's eye. It is so real.
There were no errors that I could find, and nothing I would suggest changing.
Janet65
reply by the author on 12-May-2008
Hi Showtimebook,
Wow, what an exciting story. Everything is right on track, and the suspense is great. I hope I get to read the next chapter of this novel. The story flows well, with events occurring in a natural order.
The dialogue is very natural, and I can see the story in my mind's eye. It is so real.
There were no errors that I could find, and nothing I would suggest changing.
Janet65
Comment Written 12-May-2008
reply by the author on 12-May-2008
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Hey Janet! A Sixer! Whoopee!
I really appreciate that as well as the fine comments. Your vote of confidence is much appreciated,
Gayle
Comment from Johnny Carwash
Wow. Just gets better and better. Glad I found this book early on. It's going to be a pleasure to follow it through to the end. Keep up the great work. Looks like I need to join your Fan List. :)
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reply by the author on 12-May-2008
Wow. Just gets better and better. Glad I found this book early on. It's going to be a pleasure to follow it through to the end. Keep up the great work. Looks like I need to join your Fan List. :)
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Comment Written 12-May-2008
reply by the author on 12-May-2008
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Hey Johnny...love your name! :-)
I'm glad you did, too. So far, the story is pouring out, so I hope I can keep up the pace. No slumps allowed! LOL!
Thanks again,
Gayle