MADHOUSE
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Clown Search"A Day at Sea World
24 total reviews
Comment from Earthwriter
excellent my friends i really like the drama in this one very nice indeed kept me on the edge of my seat and very entertained
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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excellent my friends i really like the drama in this one very nice indeed kept me on the edge of my seat and very entertained
Comment Written 24-May-2008
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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Hey Earthwriter,
Thank you so much for the wonderful comments. I really appreciate your input and hope to see you again,
Gayle
Comment from Jonez08
Gayle another great chapter. Your writing is incredible. It brings the reader in and I can feel every emotion. The thought of this is sickening and I look forward to sam getting his. Escape would be nice, but since we're only in chapter 9 it probably won't be that easy. I'm looking forward to the next chapter........what a sicko (sam)
Cassandra
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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Gayle another great chapter. Your writing is incredible. It brings the reader in and I can feel every emotion. The thought of this is sickening and I look forward to sam getting his. Escape would be nice, but since we're only in chapter 9 it probably won't be that easy. I'm looking forward to the next chapter........what a sicko (sam)
Cassandra
Comment Written 24-May-2008
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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Hi Cassandra,
Thank you for the wonderful review and your comments. I'm glad this chapter pleased you and I hope you'll continue to enjoy.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Domino
A very polished, well planned write, with no SPAG that I noticed. Much left to the imagination at first, until explained what he got up to(or didn't, lol) Vocabulary kept clean, for a wider audience 'he keep s pointing to the guys in the porn movies cos they're all you know' We know and its not necessary to have gratuitous language. Overall looks promising, with potential escape. Good to have 2 girls, which enables convincing dialogue. Well done, Ray xx
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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A very polished, well planned write, with no SPAG that I noticed. Much left to the imagination at first, until explained what he got up to(or didn't, lol) Vocabulary kept clean, for a wider audience 'he keep s pointing to the guys in the porn movies cos they're all you know' We know and its not necessary to have gratuitous language. Overall looks promising, with potential escape. Good to have 2 girls, which enables convincing dialogue. Well done, Ray xx
Comment Written 24-May-2008
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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Hi Ray,
You know, believe it or not, mostly I write nice, fluffy teen/horse adventures. I got into this genre during a multi-author thingy here, and got bitten by the thriller bug.
Strange to say, my not the horse series, but my first mystery in this series, Deadly Secrets, was bought by a publisher and should be available in June. I hate to read graphic, ugly stuff and certainly can't write it, but boy, can I allude, suggest, intimate that this or that is going on? Same with the language.
So glad you enjoyed it and thanks so much for the time and effort. Hope to see you again,
Gayle
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My pleasure Gayle. Congrats on your publishing deal. I hope to find one(don't we all?) for my kids book which I'm writing on line at present. If you get a sec. i'd be honoured to hear your views, most recent chapter is still listed, just. No prob. if u don't have the time. Regards, Ray xx
Comment from Johnny Carwash
This chapter was even more chilling than the previous one. You write with such great imagery it's like the reader is watching a suspense movie unfold before their very eyes.
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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This chapter was even more chilling than the previous one. You write with such great imagery it's like the reader is watching a suspense movie unfold before their very eyes.
Comment Written 24-May-2008
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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Hey Johnny,
One of the things my dear friend, Freddie, keeps telling me is that I need more action in my stories. I think I've learned how to do that! LOL!
Thanks for the great comments, I really appreciate them! And you!
Gayle
Comment from GCMaxwell
This is well written and scary. What makes it really scary is how real it feels. I hope there is a happy ending somewhere in the future.
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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This is well written and scary. What makes it really scary is how real it feels. I hope there is a happy ending somewhere in the future.
Comment Written 24-May-2008
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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Hi GC,
I bet there will be a happy ending, but we've got a ways to go before that happens. We're about half-way through the story. I thank you for the wonderful comments and hope to see you again,
Gayle
Comment from Paradox Tremors
Okay, I feel for both Beth and Audrey, neither needs to suffer like that. I hope they can give to him what he deserves and all. A interesting chapter; can not wait for the next one.
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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Okay, I feel for both Beth and Audrey, neither needs to suffer like that. I hope they can give to him what he deserves and all. A interesting chapter; can not wait for the next one.
Comment Written 24-May-2008
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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Well, hi there, so good to see you. I really appreciate your comments and am pleased you enjoyed. If you get the chance, you might want to read the earlier chapters to catch up. You don't have to leave a review or anything, but it'sll get you up to speed.
In any event, sure good to see you !
Gayle
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I do plan to.
Comment from Dave M
Gayle,
Your dialogue between the two women is excellent. Of course, the older woman wants to shield Beth from what's going to happen. So this "Sam" character is really warped. Sex on his brain and none in his body.
I hope Beth and Audrey don't just take it. I mean, there are two of them...
But when I saw the title "Clown Search," I expected a chapter where Jim and Larry go looking for a place that sells a particular type of clown doll. Is this part of a larger chapter?
I couldn't find any nits or clumsy wording. This is good, tight writing.
Dave M
reply by the author on 23-May-2008
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Gayle,
Your dialogue between the two women is excellent. Of course, the older woman wants to shield Beth from what's going to happen. So this "Sam" character is really warped. Sex on his brain and none in his body.
I hope Beth and Audrey don't just take it. I mean, there are two of them...
But when I saw the title "Clown Search," I expected a chapter where Jim and Larry go looking for a place that sells a particular type of clown doll. Is this part of a larger chapter?
I couldn't find any nits or clumsy wording. This is good, tight writing.
Dave M
Comment Written 23-May-2008
reply by the author on 23-May-2008
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Hey Dave,
Yeah, I have to split the chapters up for FS...just too much to read on the monitor. As soon as I make some bucks to promote it, I'll be putting the other part of the chapter up.
Thanks for the great review, buddy!
Gayle
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Gayle, this is reality at its ugliest, I fear. Even through my healing, I don't understand what drives these sick bastards. Yet, to free myself, I forgave them all lest they maintain control over my mind and soul. I love the imagery of the line I pulled out of context below. It is perfect.
Her teeth clapped together like castanets
reply by the author on 23-May-2008
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Gayle, this is reality at its ugliest, I fear. Even through my healing, I don't understand what drives these sick bastards. Yet, to free myself, I forgave them all lest they maintain control over my mind and soul. I love the imagery of the line I pulled out of context below. It is perfect.
Her teeth clapped together like castanets
Comment Written 23-May-2008
reply by the author on 23-May-2008
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Hey Jan,
You know, as the author, I often wonder about the subject matter of my stories. As you also know, the last thing I would ever want is to make things worse for someone.
Hopefully we'll be through this phase of the story soon.
Thanks for the fine comments and rating,
Love, Gayle
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however, one cannot escape reality. these things need to be exposed and not hidden. you are doing a fine job with this. do not back off. I am fine. I'll tell you if I think something is not realistic from my point of view. love, jan
Comment from starman
An excellent continuation. I read the last chapter, so I know what's going on here, at least. Your snappy dialogue moves the story along well. The man's motivation is certainly different to what I expected.
:)s
"As soon as I can stand (.) I need a shower."
reply by the author on 23-May-2008
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An excellent continuation. I read the last chapter, so I know what's going on here, at least. Your snappy dialogue moves the story along well. The man's motivation is certainly different to what I expected.
:)s
"As soon as I can stand (.) I need a shower."
Comment Written 23-May-2008
reply by the author on 23-May-2008
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Hi Starman,
Thanks for the great R&R! We're going to really see some action in the next couple of chapters. Some unexpected stuff is going to happen.
Hang in there and I thank you for the edit. Will fix.
Best,
Gayle
Comment from Sylvia Page
I hope they catch this lunatic before he harms the two girls. There is mention about a hose in the bathroom. Lets hope the girls find a way to use the hose and defend themselves. See you in the next chapter Gayle. Good job. keep it up.
Happy writing
Sylvia
reply by the author on 23-May-2008
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I hope they catch this lunatic before he harms the two girls. There is mention about a hose in the bathroom. Lets hope the girls find a way to use the hose and defend themselves. See you in the next chapter Gayle. Good job. keep it up.
Happy writing
Sylvia
Comment Written 23-May-2008
reply by the author on 23-May-2008
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Hi Sylvia,
Yeah, I hope so, and soon. I feel so sorry for them, but they're starting to fight back, which is good. I think.
Thanks so much for the R&R.
Hugs,
Gayle