Comment from Kym Jade

Excellent

So that's who the girls heard drive up. They have escaped into the woods and there is a high risk of bushfire. I hope Cricket can track them before any fires start.

Tony didn't get to do his thing with Sam.

Love and blessings

Will PM a suggestion.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2008

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2008

Metcha Ladies!

Daggonit, I know. I wanted to do that, but I just couldn't figure out how. But we'll still have doggie action! Promise.

I'll check the pm!

Hugs,
Gayle

Comment from Johnny Carwash

Excellent

Excellent chapter, especially the ending. Has me clamoring to find out just what's coming next. You're doing a fabulous job with this story, Gayle. Keep it up.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2008

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2008

Hey Johnny,

Thanks so much for the R&R and your comments. This one is such a blast to write. Can't wait until it's finished.

Gayle

Comment from Ritsal

Excellent

Hey girl!
Just a few little suggestions. :)

she unlocked the door and stepped inside. = delete "she" - already used at beginning of sentence

She'd barely taken a bite of her breakfast roll when she heard the buzzer indicate someone had entered the store. = more shes = maybe something like: After one bite of her breakfast roll, the buzzer announced someone entering the store.

Amanda shrugged, taking small sips of her hot coffee. = I would delete "her" as I don't think she would be sipping anyone else's coffee. LOL

old Koontz book, the Watchers, = shouldn't The Watchers be in italics or something?

Oh, boy. This guy's a real catch -- inherited a barn. :D

A little ball of muscle popped out on Lenny's jaw. = Really?

Wow - this is a page turner! Good job.

Best wishes,
Rita

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2008

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008

Hey Rita,

Oh, did you read The Watchers? My fave of all of his. Anyhoo, excellent suggestions, as always. I will italicize in the ms, but old Eddie..nah, not.

Let me get in there and make fix. Thanks so much for the edits and great comments.

Hugs,
Gayle

reply by Ritsal on 03-Jun-2008

Was that the one about the spider thingys? I read his stuff ages ago -- used to be a favorite of mine.

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2008

No, it was about a golden Lab named Einstein, who had enhanced genetics or something. He could 'talk' via a computer. He had an enemy, 'The Other' who was a maniac that wanted to kill everything, but mostly the dog.

If you haven't read it, do. It's my fave of all his.

Comment from butterflykiss

Excellent

This is great. This is my first time I'm going back and read some, It's a fast pacer and a page turner. I liked the story line and it flowed very well. I didn't find any mistakes.
Good luck.
Butterflykiss

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2008

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2008

What a darling name, butterflykiss,

Well thanks so much for the great review. Sorry it took so long to reply, usually I'm right on it. Glad you liked this one and hope you'll come back.

Gayle

reply by butterflykiss on 04-Jun-2008

Hello,
Thank you very much.
Your welcome, I did enjoy reading your story. Can't wait for the next installment.
Good luck.
Buterflykiss

Comment from Korton

Excellent

Another interesting and provocative chapter. I've heard it said that San'tanas is the correct term that translated means "Devil Wind." The girls have escaped and it is definiteln time for Cricket to get busy on the outside, the inside can wait. Very well done.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2008

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008

LOL! I'm glad you see it that way. Yeah, when you see it writen in the papers or whatever, it's Santa Ana's. But in conversation, we say it that way. Cool, no one else seems to mind, at least, not yet.

Thanks for the great comments, I get a feeling you know where this is going!

LOL!

Hugs,
Gaye

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very well written chapter you have done. I just hate that I have not read any of this until now. It is full of great descriptive wording and great dialog. Hugs, Teri

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 Comment Written 03-Jun-2008

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008

Hey Teri,

Thanks so much for the fine R&R. I appreciate the comments and hope to see you again soon,

Hugs,
Gayle

Comment from Cletus Hardiman

Excellent

This one sort of keeps one glued to the page. It is a very interesting story, but I need to read the first part to give a super honest critique.....I need to catch up! Ha! But, this is an enjoyable write--very descriptive! Thanks, Cletus Hardiman

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2008

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008

Hey Cletus,

I'm so glad you liked this chapter. If you want to go back and catch up, you don't need to leave a review unless you're moved to do so. Sorry the bucks ran out. I'd just appreciate your input!

Thanks,
Gayle

reply by Cletus Hardiman on 03-Jun-2008

I will do that, my friend......but, it will have to be later....maybe tonight. I have got to get off this computer, out of this office, and get some work done! Ha!! Thanks! Cletus Hardiman