Gracie's Gift
Gracie and Mojo get an unexpected gift.18 total reviews
Comment from jakuper
Human children often need a little fairy magic to help them understand special things.
yes, that's so right.
But,
as the matter of fact, adults need much more magis for understanding special things.
But not you. You understood them and brought to us.
Thanks
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2009
Human children often need a little fairy magic to help them understand special things.
yes, that's so right.
But,
as the matter of fact, adults need much more magis for understanding special things.
But not you. You understood them and brought to us.
Thanks
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2009
-
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my work.
Glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from CameoRenae
What a very sweet and enchanting story. I loved how you introduced the fairy, and her magic dust. I could definitely see this in a book. Nicely done!
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009
What a very sweet and enchanting story. I loved how you introduced the fairy, and her magic dust. I could definitely see this in a book. Nicely done!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009
-
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on my story.
Glad you liked it - sherry
Comment from Jnetgame
Cute children's story. I think children would like this. I only noticed one area you might want to edit:
"Mommy will be mad," she thought... (since it is a thought, remove quotes and change font to italics).
Good luck in the contest. I think this is a great entry.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009
Cute children's story. I think children would like this. I only noticed one area you might want to edit:
"Mommy will be mad," she thought... (since it is a thought, remove quotes and change font to italics).
Good luck in the contest. I think this is a great entry.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009
-
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story. I didn't realize that thoughts should be in italics rather than quotes - I'm still pretty new to fiction, having been writing factual articles instead.
Again - thanks for reading - sherry
Comment from rmdelta
sherry, this was an excellent story and a great contest entry, my friend. A strongly written children's story, it will be a good seller, sherry.
Reggie
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009
sherry, this was an excellent story and a great contest entry, my friend. A strongly written children's story, it will be a good seller, sherry.
Reggie
Comment Written 27-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009
-
Thanks, Reggie, for taking the time to read and let me know what you thought of my story.
Comment from pilarblue
Oh my gosh, what a really charming story! This is very nicely written. I enjoyed it very much and I think children will too. I don't have any suggestions. Good luck in the contest. :)
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
Oh my gosh, what a really charming story! This is very nicely written. I enjoyed it very much and I think children will too. I don't have any suggestions. Good luck in the contest. :)
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
-
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story.
So glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from RaymondJohn
Great story. I really like your use of detail to pull me into the story. Mojo is funny, and Gracie just too adorable. Good sense of story. It may be a bit too long for a childrens' book chapter, but I may be wrong. Best wishes. Ray.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
Great story. I really like your use of detail to pull me into the story. Mojo is funny, and Gracie just too adorable. Good sense of story. It may be a bit too long for a childrens' book chapter, but I may be wrong. Best wishes. Ray.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
-
Evening Ray - Thanks for taking time to read and review my story. Mojo is modeled after one of my foster pups and Gracie is actually Olivia Grace (my granddaughter). Both characters are pretty real to life, except that Mojo doesn't really talk (that I know of!). I actually thought of this as a read-aloud picture book, so I'm not sure about the length either. I'm still pretty new to this type of writing, having been writing factual articles.
Still learning - sherry
Comment from Deejharrington
This was an absolutely darling story. It has so many features that would enchant children. Fairies, talking pets, kids would love this story. Good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
This was an absolutely darling story. It has so many features that would enchant children. Fairies, talking pets, kids would love this story. Good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
-
Thanks for taking the time to read and review my story. I appreciate your kind words. I was thinking of my grand-babies while writing this and was thinking about what they like.
have a great day - sherry
-
You are welcome
Comment from chaswriter
sherrygreywolf - A well written story with strong characters and interesting dialogue. I enjoyed it.
Some suggestions:
"Wow(--)this is great!
I'm sorry(--)are you (okay)?"
"Don't stare(--)it's not nice.
Charlie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
sherrygreywolf - A well written story with strong characters and interesting dialogue. I enjoyed it.
Some suggestions:
"Wow(--)this is great!
I'm sorry(--)are you (okay)?"
"Don't stare(--)it's not nice.
Charlie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
-
Evening Charles - thanks for taking the time to read and review my story. I will doing some rewriting later this evening and have noted these errors. Glad you liked the characters and dialogue.
thanks again - sherry