Day and Night
a tanka23 total reviews
Comment from Judith Ann
It seems trite to say "nice job", but I have to say it, "nice job." There is such beauty to your words as well as the picture you selected to compliment your work. I can visualize the separation of the dome of heaven from the seas. Using descriptive words such as greater light and lesser light to say sun and moon is brilliant. Very well done, I love it. -Judy
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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It seems trite to say "nice job", but I have to say it, "nice job." There is such beauty to your words as well as the picture you selected to compliment your work. I can visualize the separation of the dome of heaven from the seas. Using descriptive words such as greater light and lesser light to say sun and moon is brilliant. Very well done, I love it. -Judy
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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I had good inspiration--the first chapter of Genesis. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from Realist101
Hi Alvin! This is great, I love the connotation about the night, "the lesser light", about the "fallen angel"...Lucifer? Very beautiful poem, as always!! :) Susan
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Hi Alvin! This is great, I love the connotation about the night, "the lesser light", about the "fallen angel"...Lucifer? Very beautiful poem, as always!! :) Susan
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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That's an interesting interpretation. In the beginning of Genesis, the lesser light is the moon, but I can see how one can come to your interpretation. Very interesting.
Comment from Shirley B
This is a very nice poem Alvin. Imagery within it is excellent. The pivotal line is very strong and blends the first two lines with the last two lines very smoothly. Yoyr poem also uses contrast in a very nice way in the last two line. I really enjoyed the poem. I think it also helped me understand a tanka poem better. Thank you for that, Shirley
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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This is a very nice poem Alvin. Imagery within it is excellent. The pivotal line is very strong and blends the first two lines with the last two lines very smoothly. Yoyr poem also uses contrast in a very nice way in the last two line. I really enjoyed the poem. I think it also helped me understand a tanka poem better. Thank you for that, Shirley
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Yes, well I have the first chapter of Genesis to thank for the idea. Thanks for a good review.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This well-structured tanka makes a profound spiritual statement. The pivot line communicates to me that the Lord God both separates and unites the heavens and the seas, the light and the day. How deeply appropriate for a pivot line. (Your notes, as always, are helpful and instructive; the tanka is more complex than is generally recognized.) Best regards, Jeanie Merceer
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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This well-structured tanka makes a profound spiritual statement. The pivot line communicates to me that the Lord God both separates and unites the heavens and the seas, the light and the day. How deeply appropriate for a pivot line. (Your notes, as always, are helpful and instructive; the tanka is more complex than is generally recognized.) Best regards, Jeanie Merceer
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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True. The tanka is a very difficult form. But I did get the idea from Genesis 1. Thanks for a good review.
Comment from Alexander E Poet
Anytime someone promotes spirituality, God and the creator and the wonderful things that have been done for us human beings, gets a five in my book, but a recognition of what keeps us all together. Well done no errors of mistakes Alexander
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Anytime someone promotes spirituality, God and the creator and the wonderful things that have been done for us human beings, gets a five in my book, but a recognition of what keeps us all together. Well done no errors of mistakes Alexander
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank for a good review; I truly appreciate it.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
What a wonderful poem of faith
and celebration of God's creations.
I particularly like the dome of heaven from
the seas image.
A real pleasure to review, Alvin.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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What a wonderful poem of faith
and celebration of God's creations.
I particularly like the dome of heaven from
the seas image.
A real pleasure to review, Alvin.
Margaret.
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Yes, I had my inspiration from the first chapter of Genesis. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from BJean
What a great tanka. Just imagine the pureness of His light will be the only light in heaven! Very perfectly done with a message that you know I love. Love, Jean
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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What a great tanka. Just imagine the pureness of His light will be the only light in heaven! Very perfectly done with a message that you know I love. Love, Jean
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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I knew you would understand this tanka. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from honeytree
Exceptional writing and art work presented. I really loved the art work and color.Ones faith is sincere within these words and I enjoyed reading them very much.
Honeytree.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Exceptional writing and art work presented. I really loved the art work and color.Ones faith is sincere within these words and I enjoyed reading them very much.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thanks for a great review and your continued loyalty.
Comment from lola29
Alvin, your tanka is lovely, and I totally agree that He rules the earth, whether brightly or softly in the dim of night. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Alvin, your tanka is lovely, and I totally agree that He rules the earth, whether brightly or softly in the dim of night. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thanks for understanding so well what I wanted to convey and for a good review.
Comment from c_lucas
This is an excellent example of God's power. It is very well written with a very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Very good job.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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This is an excellent example of God's power. It is very well written with a very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Very good job.
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thanks for a good review.
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You're welcome, Alvin. Charlie