Tonight's Victim Was Kathleen
Triplets29 total reviews
Comment from annettebda
Another different something of a different something altogether.Excellent narrative, the air of sinister ambience was well maintained and the implication in the final lines very clear.Powerful write
Annette
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Another different something of a different something altogether.Excellent narrative, the air of sinister ambience was well maintained and the implication in the final lines very clear.Powerful write
Annette
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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lOL different for sure and about a ten minute write. i had fun, slipping from romance to the dark side for a change of pace. Thanks so much you!!!!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Good flash fiction story. Well set up with the stormy artwork. Like the way you set both Kathleen as she watches the storm outside, then after the horrific deed you humanize him. Good read.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Good flash fiction story. Well set up with the stormy artwork. Like the way you set both Kathleen as she watches the storm outside, then after the horrific deed you humanize him. Good read.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thanks you, good catch on that line of thinking.
Comment from Summer J Breeze
Well this is an interesting arangement for flash fiction. The poetry set-up threw me bit- I kept trying to rhyme it in my head- but it was still effective, and didn't seem to be missing anything.
Good story; very creepy. Good picture too; it complements the work.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Well this is an interesting arangement for flash fiction. The poetry set-up threw me bit- I kept trying to rhyme it in my head- but it was still effective, and didn't seem to be missing anything.
Good story; very creepy. Good picture too; it complements the work.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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LOL, rhyming horror. I think I may have one of those around somewhere!!! Thanks for a great review!!!
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CAN'T....STOP...RHYMING!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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So why would you want to? LOL.
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well, it can get a little annoying when in public.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
You paint an awesome picture of Kathleen, deep in thought, and unaware of her impending doom.
You also show her murder with the minimum of words but maximum effect, as he strangles her with the piano wire, arranges her body, and smilingly exits the house.
Your use of triplets is a very effective device to carry the story.
Juliette
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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You paint an awesome picture of Kathleen, deep in thought, and unaware of her impending doom.
You also show her murder with the minimum of words but maximum effect, as he strangles her with the piano wire, arranges her body, and smilingly exits the house.
Your use of triplets is a very effective device to carry the story.
Juliette
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thank you Juliette. I do love triplets for they can be used to make impact. Short verses do that.
Comment from missy98writer
Girl,
I love the fact you're branching out in your writing. Your story told in triples is riveting and extremely well written. In a minimum amount of words for a maximum effect you established a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. There was a true case of a Serial Killer using the alphabet killing and raping women. Your words paint stark and vivid images of Kathleen being hunted down by a ravenous killer or a wolf in sheep's clothing. The last three lines were most chilling for me: "Known as the Alphabet Killer tonight's victim was Kathleen, tomorrow night he would visit Lizzy. You did a fantastic and creative job in your flash fiction horror and thriller story told in triplet form.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Girl,
I love the fact you're branching out in your writing. Your story told in triples is riveting and extremely well written. In a minimum amount of words for a maximum effect you established a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. There was a true case of a Serial Killer using the alphabet killing and raping women. Your words paint stark and vivid images of Kathleen being hunted down by a ravenous killer or a wolf in sheep's clothing. The last three lines were most chilling for me: "Known as the Alphabet Killer tonight's victim was Kathleen, tomorrow night he would visit Lizzy. You did a fantastic and creative job in your flash fiction horror and thriller story told in triplet form.
Melissa.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thanks Melissa. Thought a change of pace was about due. What a great review of it!!!!
Comment from BothePo8
Pammie!!! Donde esta el amor aqui mi princesa de la poesia de amor? Jajajaja! You writing was smooth and flowing Pam! Nice job! The story was good and I liked very much the way you developed it..It held my interest throughout! I thought you choice of words was just right! I am impressed with this other side of your writing...Well done, my friend......Bo
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Pammie!!! Donde esta el amor aqui mi princesa de la poesia de amor? Jajajaja! You writing was smooth and flowing Pam! Nice job! The story was good and I liked very much the way you developed it..It held my interest throughout! I thought you choice of words was just right! I am impressed with this other side of your writing...Well done, my friend......Bo
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thanks, Bo. Just a change of pace. Sometimes I need that and when I do, I run to the dark side. MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
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The princess of love poety has a dark side...I don't believe it....Bo
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Hah, and it can be very very dark too!!! MUAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Comment from humpwhistle
Flash fiction in triplets is an interesting idea Gungalo. And you have provided a good example.
When you say "sexy pose" I assume you mean from his point of view, but I didn't get the sense that the entire story was being told from his perspective.
Also, "thunderous booming" seems redundant.
I apologize for nit-picking, but sometimes the little things matter. With all due respect, Lee
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Flash fiction in triplets is an interesting idea Gungalo. And you have provided a good example.
When you say "sexy pose" I assume you mean from his point of view, but I didn't get the sense that the entire story was being told from his perspective.
Also, "thunderous booming" seems redundant.
I apologize for nit-picking, but sometimes the little things matter. With all due respect, Lee
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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No problem Lee. I can take it and if you have questions might as well ask. Righ? This is about a ten minute write. LOL. So it may not have the considerations of something thought out for a while. Still, love your review.
Comment from ejebb1951
Girl, you switch out on me. You went from romance to a to an Alphabet Killer. Bravo. You never cease to amaze me GG. I love this strangler and this naive lady. He has already killed ABCDEFGHIJ, and I would have surely be a little leary about the K for Kathleen in the Neighborhood, just sayin'. I like this write, my friend.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Girl, you switch out on me. You went from romance to a to an Alphabet Killer. Bravo. You never cease to amaze me GG. I love this strangler and this naive lady. He has already killed ABCDEFGHIJ, and I would have surely be a little leary about the K for Kathleen in the Neighborhood, just sayin'. I like this write, my friend.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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A fun one for me for sure. Quick (flash) fiction that serves the purpose of changing my pace a bit. Love your review you!!!
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As usual my friend.
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Sigh........... yer so cute, you!!!
Comment from Maxine Kendall
Ooooh,creepy! I love it though. It could be a poetic write of the inside jacket of a thriller novel. You could do the whole alphabet, each death dealt differently. And, use the last three lines each time only changing the names.
Sorry, got a bot carried away there. Lol
Great read.
Maxine x
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Ooooh,creepy! I love it though. It could be a poetic write of the inside jacket of a thriller novel. You could do the whole alphabet, each death dealt differently. And, use the last three lines each time only changing the names.
Sorry, got a bot carried away there. Lol
Great read.
Maxine x
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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LOL that's just fine. Be carried away. That means a lot to me too!!! But this guy only has this one shot at notoriety. lOL.
Comment from percival86jack
I'm having trouble keeping up with you, my dear Gungalo. Talk about prolific!!! But not only prolific, you continue to write beautiful, intriguing, and in this case, dark passages that keep the reader engaged! Kudos... love and big hugs, Jackles xxxxxxxxxxxxx
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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I'm having trouble keeping up with you, my dear Gungalo. Talk about prolific!!! But not only prolific, you continue to write beautiful, intriguing, and in this case, dark passages that keep the reader engaged! Kudos... love and big hugs, Jackles xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Yep, I run into the dark side for a change of pace, Jack. Sooo glad you like this one. MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.