Comment from
JM daSilva
I love adventure and action, so I'll catch some more of your adventure. Kudos to you.
But I have some editing suggestions, if you like them, tell me and I'll continue.
time and time again (time and again, for brevity)
into the middle, (no comma) of a dense thicket
Silent laughter emits for a grimacing face (strange sentence, issues from a grimacing face?)
May the Gods ( in the plural gods is usually lowercase)
in charge of a now well under strength troop (strange sentence)
reported Tiberious (Tiberius) (,)his second in command
Not one of them have (has) surrendered.
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Comment Written 14-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2012
Thank you JM, for your helpful review. Always appreciated. And I like them. I have adjusted each 'strange' sentence... Kind regards Mel.