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Leslie Ann's Exploits

Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "A new reality for Leslie Ann"
A spoiled young lady who learns the hard way

26 total reviews 
Comment from nancy_e_davis
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Granulations on finishing your poem story in fine fashion. A happy ending for all. Nice ABCB rhyme and some catchy alliteration as well. I enjoyed it and I realize how difficult it was to do this. Nancy

 Comment Written 09-May-2013


reply by the author on 11-May-2013
    Nancy, thanks for your kind and complimentary comments. I appreciate you staying the course. It meant a lot to me! Dossie
Comment from sweetwoodjax
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this is very well written, christine, you did an excellent job writing this poetic tale of a night gone wrong and what was done to fix it. i have to admit i haven't read the previous chapters. i promise to look at them later.

 Comment Written 09-May-2013


reply by the author on 11-May-2013
    Thanks, sweetwoodjax, you're so kind. Thanks so much for your comments and rating, I appreciate both! Dossie
Comment from Norbanus
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As often is the case with tales in verse
this one reveals a story wracked with grief.
She woke to see that things had gotten worse
and found there was no reason for relief

But soon regrets swirled 'round and made them think
that using arsenic was an awful stretch.
Then Tomas brought in talc to break the link
And Jonathan knew he'd found quite a catch.

But Leslie Ann knew now it was too late.
She'd have to find a way to start anew.
Time is truly wounder of all heels,
and Leslie Ann has learned just how it feels

A mighty project you tell like a song,
a tale of life that's fourteen verses long.


 Comment Written 09-May-2013


reply by the author on 11-May-2013
    Norbanus, the rewrite above shows why you're such an accomplished poet and writer. I thank you so much for your support and encouragement, I appreciate both very much! Dossie
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
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Hello my friend I think you have done so well sticking with this story and bringing it to its conclusion so well I have enjoyed well done my friend I enjoyed regards Jill

 Comment Written 09-May-2013


reply by the author on 11-May-2013
    Jill, you're so kind. Thanks so much for your comments and rating, I appreciate both! Dossie
Comment from dmt1967
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This is a great ending are you going to publish it I think you should just one line confused me a little 'A nurse ran to Mary Ann's room as it became astir.' shouldn't that be Leslie ann.'s room as she was the one in the hospital bed
Great story thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 09-May-2013


reply by the author on 11-May-2013
    dmt1967, thanks so much for all your encouragement and support of this one, I appreciate you so much!! Dossie
Comment from jmdg1954
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It always is somewhat sad when something like this comes to an end. I thought you did a good job writing this story in verse. I try to incorporate both in done of my doggie stories, it's not easy!
Good luck with this and your next endeavor. John

 Comment Written 09-May-2013


reply by the author on 11-May-2013
    jmdg1954, thanks so much for all your encouragement and support of this one, I appreciate you so much!! Dossie
Comment from c_lucas
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A very interesting read. It is possible to set the way to cause someone to completely lose their mind. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.

 Comment Written 09-May-2013


reply by the author on 11-May-2013
    Thanks so much, Charlie, for your continuing support and encouragement, especially with this Leslie Ann saga. I appreciate it. Dossie
reply by c_lucas on 11-May-2013
    You're welcome, Dossie. Charlie.
Comment from adewpearl
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excellent alliteration in cower/covers and cowers is a great verb choice for its meaning and intensity
strong abcb rhyming - love the pairing of nemesis/paralysis
Congratulations on finishing this ambitious story poem :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 09-May-2013


reply by the author on 11-May-2013
    Brooke, Thanks so much for your continuing support and encouragement, especially with this Leslie Ann saga. I appreciate it. Dossie
Comment from conroy11
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This is a haunting poem with a clever abcb rhyme scheme. I like how you rhymed "nemesis, paralysis" and "scheme, self-esteem."

"The long night at the lab with dead (bodied) all around her"
I think you meant "bodies" here.

 Comment Written 09-May-2013


reply by the author on 11-May-2013
    Thanks for spotting the spag, I appreciate it as well as your complimentary comments.
Comment from EmberSnowcat
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No! I am so sad this is the end! I loved this very much and plan on bookmarking it so I can re-read it again. You did so wonderful with this. 14 chapters of a story poem. Beautiful job! I can't wait to see what you come up with next! Thank you so much for the Leslie Ann saga. It was a delightful treat!

 Comment Written 09-May-2013


reply by the author on 11-May-2013
    Thanks so much, EmberSnowcat, for your continuing support and encouragement, especially with this Leslie Ann saga. I appreciate it so much! I'll think of something - LOL. Dossie