Comment from gaangel62

Excellent

Beautiful poem....teenage years are such a difficult time to live through...you described the wonderful and yet terrible feelings that young girls have to deal with...THanks for sharing...Hugs...Angel

 Comment Written 18-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013

Thanks so much for your reviews and comments.

Comment from elchupakabra

Excellent

This was a unique take on the love poem contest and I thought you did an excellent job avoiding any major cliches with this piece. It's well constructed and the linework flows smoothly. Great work overall on this piece, thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013

Thanks so much for your review and kind comments.

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

This is a sweet little poem in three stanzas. Rhyming couplets apart from the first 2 lines of the third stanza. The first taste of attraction, no kiss - but so many to come. Nice poem. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 18-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013

Thanks so much for your review and kind comments.

Comment from evrenios

Excellent

I like the viewpoint of this love poem. I like the fact that it is of a young girls viewpoint. Nice rhyme scheme and metric flow. I admire the use of 8 wyllabic strokes in each line. Nice use of form!

 Comment Written 18-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013

Thanks so much for your review and kind comments.

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

A-w-w-w-w-w-w... there is nothing more dejecting than unrequited love. Whether it's "puppy love", or the grown-up kind, it doesn't hurt any less.

Perhaps, one day, when he sees her blossom into a beautiful young woman, as so often is the case, it will be her turn to turn the tables on him.

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013

Thanks so much for your review and kind comments.

Comment from Erika Martin

Excellent

Your poem of love of dreams unfilled, love unrealized, and intimacy not tasted is wonderful. Your end rhyme stanzas work well with this subject matter. Also the iambic tetrameter moves along smoothly to the sad conclusion of your last line. I enjoyed reading your lovely poem.

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013

Thanks so much for your review and kind comments.

Comment from Paul Sienicki

Excellent

In my view this is a good love poem depicting unfulfilled dreams of heart of many people today. I am not sure what you have tried to say in your final line of your poem;
"Remain a yearned for hopeful whim
Never to be fulfilled by him".

It seems as if this desire to be kissed has turned into a desire not to be kissed by this boy. Am I right?
Otherwise well done, my friend, I like it. Cheers.

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013

Thanks so much for your review and kind comments.

Comment from Simple Reflection

Excellent

Oooohh, I felt that young girl's aching heart! And what a perfect picture to accompany this poem! You did well in expressing the emotions of the girl sitting and waiting, hopeful that the boy will come. Well done!

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 15-Nov-2013

Thank you for your review and kind comments.

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

solid rhyming couplets
excellent use of enjambment to keep this story flowing from line to line
you create a melancholy mood well - many young people have suffered from unrequited love and from another's thoughtlessness - they will read this poem and identify with it
Brooke

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013

Thanks so much for your review and comments.

Comment from kenni

Excellent

AnnieDawn, count yourself fortunate. The rascal revealed himself before he could do damage. Excellent quatrains, clever, and good rhyming couplets made them a pleasure to read. kenni

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 12-Nov-2013

Thank you so very much for your much appreciated review and comments.