The savage stranger
Horro writing prompt32 total reviews
Comment from Zue65
I am a little bit confused with the ending. The flow however of the story from beginning to end is fluid. It was only in the final line that I, as a reader stumble, for the ending appears to introduce a twist but was not developed well to comply with the 100 words requirement. But you have the natural flair for story telling. God bless.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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I am a little bit confused with the ending. The flow however of the story from beginning to end is fluid. It was only in the final line that I, as a reader stumble, for the ending appears to introduce a twist but was not developed well to comply with the 100 words requirement. But you have the natural flair for story telling. God bless.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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Thank you Nassus for this most inspiring review. I agree with your feedback, this is a tough area for me. I have yet to grasp a proper ending with a flash fiction, but the feedback I am receiving has been quite supportive and helpful. Thank you again and God bless!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent w rite, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this story about the willing victim who fell prey to the killer because they were drawn to him. I enjoyed reading it, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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this is an excellent w rite, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this story about the willing victim who fell prey to the killer because they were drawn to him. I enjoyed reading it, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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Thank you sweetwoodjax for another inspiring review. I love that this piece has been well received. God bless!
Comment from rjpurdy
Fantasticly horrific. Exquisite detail in the thinking process of a maniac. It has tones of Brett Easton Ellis' "American Psycho." Brilliantly evil. You make me want to say my prayers tonight. rj
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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Fantasticly horrific. Exquisite detail in the thinking process of a maniac. It has tones of Brett Easton Ellis' "American Psycho." Brilliantly evil. You make me want to say my prayers tonight. rj
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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Thank you rjpurdy for another inspiring review and the comparison to a well known Author is simply overwhelming. This is the genre I love to write and hope to have a career with it one day soon. God bless!
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You are a natural in the supernatural. Your skill in this genre is remarkable. You deserve a career Neonewman. I will look forward to entry in the upcoming contest. I am thinking of throwing my hat in the ring too.
~Peace & Grace my friend~ Rod
Comment from Eric1
I found this to be an excellent submission for this flash horror competition, It was a little confusing on the first read then all became clear as I read it a second time, good luck my friend
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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I found this to be an excellent submission for this flash horror competition, It was a little confusing on the first read then all became clear as I read it a second time, good luck my friend
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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Thank you Eric my friend for this inspiring review. God bless!
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It was my pleasure my friend.
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
This was indeed a gripping story and its authentic. The way the world is these days. Excellent imagination and vividly captures the biological sensations of a serial killer. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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This was indeed a gripping story and its authentic. The way the world is these days. Excellent imagination and vividly captures the biological sensations of a serial killer. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2014
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Thank you Benjamin for another incredibly inspiring review. God bless!
Comment from Cosmic2011
AWESOME! I did not see that ending coming, but WHAT?! You had me wanting more. I was glued to the page until the very end and then BAM! I really enjoyed this read. Kudos and Good Luck!
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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AWESOME! I did not see that ending coming, but WHAT?! You had me wanting more. I was glued to the page until the very end and then BAM! I really enjoyed this read. Kudos and Good Luck!
Comment Written 13-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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Thank you Cosmic2011 for this most inspiring review and elusive six star rating. I feel after writing this little piece with successful reviews that I must continue this story from the beginning. God bless!
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Yay! I can't wait!
Comment from LIJ Red
I hope my interpretation of this is correct..a psycho on a mission to kill stumbles on a quicker and meaner psycho on a mission to kill...excellent.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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I hope my interpretation of this is correct..a psycho on a mission to kill stumbles on a quicker and meaner psycho on a mission to kill...excellent.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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You interpreted it perfectly LIJ Red, the fact that you had to ask caused me to edit the last line. This certainly solidified the meaning. I hope you will read it once more. God bless!
Comment from K. Lorraine
Holy Batman! This short was an incredible thrill ride... You held me captive from the beginning to the end. The graphic was perfect for this intense few seconds of HOrror. I love it! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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Holy Batman! This short was an incredible thrill ride... You held me captive from the beginning to the end. The graphic was perfect for this intense few seconds of HOrror. I love it! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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Thank you K. Lorraine for another most inspiring review and definitely appreciate the six star count. God bless!
Comment from BeasPeas
An enthralling piece. There is some confusion, I find, with the ending sentence: "I died within this stranger's arms as I became his prey." This sentence can be entirely eliminated if the speaker is the stalker. However, you may have intended a twist around at the end--and I'm not sure which it is. In any case, this compelling story needs clarification for me. I'm rating 5 stars for stellar writing--not for clarity of content.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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An enthralling piece. There is some confusion, I find, with the ending sentence: "I died within this stranger's arms as I became his prey." This sentence can be entirely eliminated if the speaker is the stalker. However, you may have intended a twist around at the end--and I'm not sure which it is. In any case, this compelling story needs clarification for me. I'm rating 5 stars for stellar writing--not for clarity of content.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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Thank you BeasPeas for this most inspiring review. I did change the last line in hopes of clarification, to me it definitely sounds better. God bless!
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Much better. So happy I could help.
Comment from victor 66
Damn, Mystery Writer, you are good. A true horror story in so few words. I'd say you met all the criteria of the prompt and then some. I wish you luck, but I don't think you need it, old friend.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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Damn, Mystery Writer, you are good. A true horror story in so few words. I'd say you met all the criteria of the prompt and then some. I wish you luck, but I don't think you need it, old friend.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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Thank you Victor for another inspiring review. It would be nice to pick up this win. God bless!
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Winning isn't everything, but it's close. Looks like you're still in the game. That's always exciting.