Humanity Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Into the Desert - Part 2"A science fiction book about genetic engineering.
27 total reviews
Comment from Alex Biasin
The story is moving along well.
Lots of intrigue and danger still ahead and the stakes are high.
The dialogue rings true and there is some interesting by play between the central characters.
Another cracking chapter Rhonda - I'm looking forward to reading what happens next.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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The story is moving along well.
Lots of intrigue and danger still ahead and the stakes are high.
The dialogue rings true and there is some interesting by play between the central characters.
Another cracking chapter Rhonda - I'm looking forward to reading what happens next.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Alex! I appreciate the review and comments.
Have a great week,
Rhonda
Comment from lyenochka
Great progress! The Sani character is really cool. I think you could make his speech a little more eccentric as the wise guide teaches. I'm so glad that Archie came right out and explained Koko's situataion right away. Looking forward to the team forming!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Great progress! The Sani character is really cool. I think you could make his speech a little more eccentric as the wise guide teaches. I'm so glad that Archie came right out and explained Koko's situataion right away. Looking forward to the team forming!
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful review. I was afraid I had overdone the eccentric with Sani as it was. However, hold on, he gets really weird later.
Archie is a pretty direct kind of guy. He's not for pulling punches, and the truth served him better here.
Have a great weekend,
Rhonda
Comment from Douglas Paul
Another great chapter,my friend. I think you are doing a good job of developing your characters a little more as well as continuing with the escape. You writing flow smoothly as always
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Another great chapter,my friend. I think you are doing a good job of developing your characters a little more as well as continuing with the escape. You writing flow smoothly as always
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful comments, and the much coveted six stars. Have a great week, my friend. Tell out mutual friend I've missed his posts this week!
Comment from Heidi M
Good job highlighting the tension between Ayala and Archie
Thank goodness for Sani and his wisdom.
It will be interesting to see how Ayala responds to the announcement of Koko's pregnancy.
breathe in, breath(e) out
very know(l)edgable about survival
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Good job highlighting the tension between Ayala and Archie
Thank goodness for Sani and his wisdom.
It will be interesting to see how Ayala responds to the announcement of Koko's pregnancy.
breathe in, breath(e) out
very know(l)edgable about survival
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Heidi, for the wonderful review, and the Spag check. I don't care how many times I read it, and I read it a smooth hundred, I still missed them. hahaha.
Have a great week,
Rhonda
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Rhonda, your stories are getting better with new chapter. This one is very engaging along with being quite entertaining. These are the qualities that I look for to read. You dialogue always increases the intensity of each paragraph whether it is two, three or four people. This you really excell in doing. Always a pleasure to read your stories my friend.
Rhonda, take care and enjoy the evening with your family.
Always
Jim
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Rhonda, your stories are getting better with new chapter. This one is very engaging along with being quite entertaining. These are the qualities that I look for to read. You dialogue always increases the intensity of each paragraph whether it is two, three or four people. This you really excell in doing. Always a pleasure to read your stories my friend.
Rhonda, take care and enjoy the evening with your family.
Always
Jim
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Jim, you are very generous! I'm glad you liked the dialogue, and fond it entertaining. You're a sweetheart!
Have a beautiful week,
Rhonda
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine chapter, Rhonda--Archie's a little bit more rational than I would have been if Ayala had kicked sand in my face. I would have looked at her angrily, and snarled, "Please, stop it, I don't like it!'
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda--Archie's a little bit more rational than I would have been if Ayala had kicked sand in my face. I would have looked at her angrily, and snarled, "Please, stop it, I don't like it!'
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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You are such a tough guy, and I'm glad you would have taught her a verbal lesson for her impudence. Hey, she's a pretty young lady. What was a guy to do??
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Hey, it's rough always being the enforcer-type, but I'm willing to be that man!
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You're a rock, my friend!
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Thank you, SOMEBODY'S got to be, well, if you're referring to my intelligence level, you're probably right!
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I'm pretty sure I was referring to your resolve...
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Thank, you, Rhonda!
Comment from LaRosa
I enjoy the rapid-fire interchanges between your characters. A great way to tell and lead a story.
The making of a mat is informative, something we've seen in the old cowboy/Indian westerns, in which the hunter or the hunted finds refuge or an invisible place to attack from. A grass blanket, made of desert stuff. The fibers certainly would be tough and strong, as well as pliable. Neat.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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I enjoy the rapid-fire interchanges between your characters. A great way to tell and lead a story.
The making of a mat is informative, something we've seen in the old cowboy/Indian westerns, in which the hunter or the hunted finds refuge or an invisible place to attack from. A grass blanket, made of desert stuff. The fibers certainly would be tough and strong, as well as pliable. Neat.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thanks for the review and comments, LaRosa. Yes, the idea of the mat was an old one. I had the complete recipe for it, but it was a bit boring when reading back, so I thought I'd leave it as it was.
Again, thank you so much!
Rhonda
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it was just enough to catch attention and curiosity.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. Well, let's hope they make it in one piece. This is a most interesting story and I'm enjoying every word. I don't suppose you will make it easy for them, but hat is what makes a story
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Excellent. Well, let's hope they make it in one piece. This is a most interesting story and I'm enjoying every word. I don't suppose you will make it easy for them, but hat is what makes a story
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you for your kind comments, my friend. Nope, not about to make it easy on them. haha. Gotta have a story in there somewhere!
Have a great week,
Rhonda
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is such an interesting story. I hope they succeed. The people of Hokee will surely adjust when they find what's out there.
A couple of things to look at, Rhonda:
red-tailed
having animals' dreams - took this to be plural
knowedgable
knowledgeable
reasearched
researched
Blessings,
Margaret
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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This is such an interesting story. I hope they succeed. The people of Hokee will surely adjust when they find what's out there.
A couple of things to look at, Rhonda:
red-tailed
having animals' dreams - took this to be plural
knowedgable
knowledgeable
reasearched
researched
Blessings,
Margaret
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Margaret, for finding the Spag. It's funny, but I've read it so many times I think everything is correct, and then I look back after someone finds something and I'm like, "how did that get there?" Too funny, and thanks for the review!!
Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda, another great chapter about their escape and Archie learns so many new things.
'I'm very knowedgable about survival' = knowledgeable or knowledgable. It can be spelled both ways.
Can't wait to read on. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Hi Rhonda, another great chapter about their escape and Archie learns so many new things.
'I'm very knowedgable about survival' = knowledgeable or knowledgable. It can be spelled both ways.
Can't wait to read on. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Ulla, for the brilliant six star rating. It was so sweet! The knowledgeable thing was a mistake, and I'm surprised the computer didn't catch it. However, I'm glad you did!!
Thanks so much, my friend.
Rhonda