Emancipation Day
I licked my lips and you, like Texas barbecue.46 total reviews
Comment from His Grayness
I found this to be a very clever and yet also a very complex work of great rhyme and pace that deserves no criticism in any way. The "grip" is very strong and the final wrap up is very well done indeed. I cannot suggest anything to make this any better and thank the author for a fine read. HIS GRAYNES:Vance
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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I found this to be a very clever and yet also a very complex work of great rhyme and pace that deserves no criticism in any way. The "grip" is very strong and the final wrap up is very well done indeed. I cannot suggest anything to make this any better and thank the author for a fine read. HIS GRAYNES:Vance
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Thank you, His Grayness, for your generous, six star review of this song I tinkered with for a month until a songwriting class I began last Tuesday demanded a love song for my first assignment and gave me tips on the parts of songs. I wrapped up my song in two days, infusing it with a complex narrative, thanks again.
Comment from Silvio3000
Excellent write. Positive words that who true understanding of what freedom is. Being freed from man's imposed slavery is utterly meaningless if we let be enslaved once more by our base desires and if we reach out for the thrill of the moment that leaves us empty and pretty much worthless. We need to rise above it. That way we can truly be free.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Excellent write. Positive words that who true understanding of what freedom is. Being freed from man's imposed slavery is utterly meaningless if we let be enslaved once more by our base desires and if we reach out for the thrill of the moment that leaves us empty and pretty much worthless. We need to rise above it. That way we can truly be free.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Yes, yes, yes, Silvio, being freed from man imposed slavery is meaningless if we enslave ourselves to our base desires. I could have written a song about the opioid epidemic ravaging our country now. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, my friend,
An interesting poem about emancipation day on June 19, 1865 when Union General Gordon Granger landed in Galveston, Texas. It's a historical poem with nice rhyme scheme and meter.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Hello, my friend,
An interesting poem about emancipation day on June 19, 1865 when Union General Gordon Granger landed in Galveston, Texas. It's a historical poem with nice rhyme scheme and meter.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Yes, Gypsy, this is an entertaining and informative song. Thank you for your review and for noting my song's rhymes.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Great song and history of the old days of the end of slavery. I like
your beat and images of being a slave to sex, one time fun. So glad
the African Americans became freed. My husband's family helped
the slaves in underground go north to free land. We lived in Dallas
area for 18 years. ***** stars to you for a win!*******
flylikeaneagle - nancy
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Great song and history of the old days of the end of slavery. I like
your beat and images of being a slave to sex, one time fun. So glad
the African Americans became freed. My husband's family helped
the slaves in underground go north to free land. We lived in Dallas
area for 18 years. ***** stars to you for a win!*******
flylikeaneagle - nancy
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Wow, Nancy, what news about your husband's family ho helped slaves escape through the Underground Railroad. I still have faily in Houston because that is where my mother's family is from.
I am glad you got my metaphor comparing slavery to infidelity. I am thrilled you learned a history lesson, too.
Thank you for your generous, six star review.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I never even thought of cheating on my wife in either of the two marriages I was a part of.
However, I cannot make the same claim on their behalf.
I've heard that guilt resulting from an extra-marital affair is some of the worst guilt one can experience. It's quite easy to see how it could be perceived as a type of bondage, or "slavery".
I initially thought this poem was going to be about the more traditional type of slavery--the type that occurred during and around the time of the Civil War. While it mentions elements of such slavery, it was more about one's personal guilt.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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I never even thought of cheating on my wife in either of the two marriages I was a part of.
However, I cannot make the same claim on their behalf.
I've heard that guilt resulting from an extra-marital affair is some of the worst guilt one can experience. It's quite easy to see how it could be perceived as a type of bondage, or "slavery".
I initially thought this poem was going to be about the more traditional type of slavery--the type that occurred during and around the time of the Civil War. While it mentions elements of such slavery, it was more about one's personal guilt.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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You are right, Dean, this song is more about how personal guilt over an affair enslaves one. Thank you for your generous review and for wishing me the best in the contest.
Comment from DR DIP
I would love to hear the accompanying Tune lyrics alone are not given justice sometimes without the rhythm and the beat I really can see this working. Good luck in the contest
dip
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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I would love to hear the accompanying Tune lyrics alone are not given justice sometimes without the rhythm and the beat I really can see this working. Good luck in the contest
dip
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, Dip, for your review and for wishing me contest luck. Yes, I have been singing and dancing to my song as I imagine the music. I just enrolled in a songwriting class. Perhaps I will meet musicians. Thanks.
Comment from rlee
Life is as it is and should be told. Love and trust must somewhere reach a balance. The balance can be good or bad but the error of judgement can be preserved as a event to be cherished as a memory and not to be repeated.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Life is as it is and should be told. Love and trust must somewhere reach a balance. The balance can be good or bad but the error of judgement can be preserved as a event to be cherished as a memory and not to be repeated.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Yes, rlee, that is fine advice: errors of judgement can be cherished if not repeated. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a brilliant song! I think it will do very well in the contest. That period for millions of human people who were dismissed as slaves with no rights whatsoever was terrible. Unfortunately, it has happened all through history in one form or another and still is happening. It's a sick world, and humans are the unkindest of Gods creatures in the way they treat their own species. Well done and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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What a brilliant song! I think it will do very well in the contest. That period for millions of human people who were dismissed as slaves with no rights whatsoever was terrible. Unfortunately, it has happened all through history in one form or another and still is happening. It's a sick world, and humans are the unkindest of Gods creatures in the way they treat their own species. Well done and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Yes, Sandra, in researching my poem I discovered that various countries where slavery once existed have their own Emancipation Day. Unfortunately, slavery in one form or another exists today and there are Emancipation Days yet to come.
Thank you for your review and for wishing me luck in the contest.
Comment from rjuselius
Wow this is a brilliant entry for this particular contest entry dear anonymous! I love the storyline and the presentation. I think your words are very clever and the chorus line is catchy.
Thanks for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a big squeeze!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Wow this is a brilliant entry for this particular contest entry dear anonymous! I love the storyline and the presentation. I think your words are very clever and the chorus line is catchy.
Thanks for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a big squeeze!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Yes, Rebekka, I spent thirty-two days writing this song that only came together when I decided to give it a storyline and a catchy chorus. Thank you for your generous, six star review and for wishing me luck in the contest.
Comment from frierajac
Thanks for the lyrical take on the June 19th holiday. It was mentioned to me as it was my mother's BD, and she lived in Texas as a child. I like the graphic images in
the barbacue licken, and the metaphor of the slave of love to the slave of history.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Thanks for the lyrical take on the June 19th holiday. It was mentioned to me as it was my mother's BD, and she lived in Texas as a child. I like the graphic images in
the barbacue licken, and the metaphor of the slave of love to the slave of history.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Yes, frierajac, my Mom was from East Texas where they celebrated Juneteenth. My uncle cooked a mean barbecue but he would be shocked by my finger licking images. Thank you for your review.