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Remembering Yesterday

Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Reunion With an Old Friend"
A widow's journey into her relationship with her

19 total reviews 
Comment from Gideon300
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It is intriguing what memories come back to us when we resurrect the past. Sometimes when they are happening they just seem ordinary but then we discover how important all those days were. Thanks for sharing a slice of your life with us.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
    Thank you for reading a slice of my life. I appreciate the review and comments.
    Beth
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I couldn't help but laugh at some of these stories. I know they were completely innocent but understanding the times, they didn't look so innocent. I am totally enjoying this.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
    Well I hope you laugh because I laugh myself as I remember some ot things that happened back then. I appreciate the review and comments. I so glad you enjoying this.
    Beth
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I can remember when the pubs closed at 6;00pm. And one couldn't legally drink until we were 21, now it's eighteen, but I drank earlier that, when I was playing senior football at age 17. I love your biography Beth, you must miss him terribly. I don't know how you remember all the fine detail. Well done, beautifully written, blessings, Roy
Typo : Adding chilli pow(d)er. 2 ; it was (illigal) to but liquor. Illegal?

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
    Thank you so much for the review and comment and for seeing those spags. Actually, those things stand out better in my memory than more recent things do. I hope I not losing my short term memory.
    Betj
reply by royowen on 07-Mar-2020
    Me too,
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow - so many interesting stories - from I Love Lucy causing laundering issues, fixing transmissions on the kitchen floor, hunting fiascoes, and Joy's friend of sorts. I liked your cooking story and I don't believe spaghetti sauce should be cooked for half a day! Oh my!

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
    Thank you so much for the review and for the nice comments. I appreciate you reading this
    Beth
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I am enjoying your letter to your deceased husband, Beth. You had some funny experiences in this chapter. Not funny to you at the time, but like the water incident. Things like that happen when you aren't paying attention. The cousin? I can understand your husband being a bit irked to find another man there so early in the morning. Well done, Dear. Nancy :)

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
    Nancy, thank you so much for the six star rating and lovely comments. Yes, I can laugh about a lot of stuff now, but it wasn't so funny at the time.
    Beth
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Excellent
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Oh, so enjoyable! I laughed at several spots, namely the greasy engine in the kitchen, the squirrel episode and not being invited on any more hunting trips. Then, Joy an your escapades, ending with you wondering if your husband really trusted you will your coisin was around. You have a way with words!

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 Comment Written 07-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
    Thank you so much for the review and the wonder comments. Those thing make me laugh now too.
    Beth
reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 07-Mar-2020
    It was my pleasure to read your account.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an endearing memoir in the form of a letter or story directed to your late husband. These are great memories and anecdotes which bring alive a special time in your young marriage, and also the times you were living in -- the 1950s.

Besides going through the story for errors, which I have done below, I have two basic suggestions for improvement, which you can accept (or not) at your own discretion:

First, it might be good to have headings before each story, or set of stories, such as:

Apartment Adventures

Cooking Lessons

Farewell to Squirrels

Visits with My Cousin

And then the text resumes below the heading, as the reader is prepared for the next topic. I don't know how you handled this in previous chapters, but you might want to consider it.

Secondly, I am suggesting that if you're addressing the memoirs to your husband, you write to him by name, and write it as needed. I wrote more about this below.

Here are the errors I found (or suggestions for improvement) as I read through your sweet story:

it continued on its destructive path to the floor below
-->
it continued on its destructive path to the floor below.

the fire department had been called to our apartment house.
-->
the fire department had been called to our apartment building.

to teach art in Junior high. -->
Junior High OR
junior high

During the previous years, she had been studing at MSCW
-->
During the previous years, she had been studying at Mississippi College for Women (MSCW) [spell out first usage -- then abbreviate; I hope I got the name right)

Over the summer. she had met a student...
-->
Over the summer, she had met a student...

Like I had been, she was also an art major.
-->
She was an art major, as I had been.

...spaghetti that had been cooked for half a day. Served with salad and French bread.
-->
...spaghetti that had been cooked for half a day, served with salad and French bread.

It gave you a chance walk over the land, ...
-->
It gave you a chance to walk over the land, ...

worldlier than we were. (close up extra space after "worldlier")

...which meant it was illigal to buy liquor period.
-->
...which meant it was illegal to buy liquor, period.

A firefly and gotten into the house...
-->
A firefly had gotten into the house...

Early the next morning, Roy, the guy Joy had developed a crush on from the college called to say he was in Jackson.
-->
Early the next morning, Roy, the guy Joy had developed a crush on from the college, called to say he was in Jackson.

"We didn't expect you back until late Sunday evening." -- you're narrating this story to your husband, I understand. Sometimes the reader gets involved in the story and forgets that, so that suddenly addressing the story to "you" can be a little confusing. Maybe he needs a name in the story, even from the beginning.
"And so, Harry (or Tom, or Ignatius), we didn't expect you back until late Sunday evening."

***

I think it's delightful that you're recording these memories, and writing a memoir to your late husband. It's a very healthy and creative way to remember him, and your stories are interesting and enjoyable. I'm sorry he's gone; it can't be easy without him. May God bless you and your work on these wonderful memoirs.

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 Comment Written 07-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
    Thank you so much for the review and for catching the spags . I also appreciate your helpful suggestions. As for the topic titles, that is a good idea. Most paragraphs start a new topic but since I'm already on the seventeenth chapter, it is probably too late to start that now.
    About the apartment building rather than house, It was a private dwelling house, but the pastor who owned turned some of the rooms into apartments since he no longer needed so much space for his family. Regular readers are aware of that.

    Also I'm not sure about the quotes since every word I'm saying is addressed to my husband, I would think quotes would be unnecessary until I'm quoting someone else too him.

    I do appreciate you spending all that time finding all these things. You are a good editor. I hope you continue ot read as I post.
    Beth
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 07-Mar-2020
    You're very welcome, Beth.
    To clarify, I wasn't suggesting that you use quotes when addressing your husband (unless quoting someone, as you said). I was suggesting you occasionally use his name to remind people that technically you're addressing your husband, and not the reader, directly. The quotes I put in there were just to set off the material as examples.
    I would like to read more, as you post. I will put that chapter in my Bookcase and become a fan, if I'm not one already. It was a pleasure.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
    I'm flattered that you want to read this story. You are so helpful.
    Beth
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 07-Mar-2020
    Your story is a sweet one :-)
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Beth, what wonderful new episodes in your long "talk to your husband". I liked the earlier chapters too and I thought it was time to give you the six stars. So well earned too! An ongoing and never boring story of your life, your feelings, your relationship. I start to know you both!

Very well done, and I am glad to have read it.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
    Thank you for the wonderful six star review. I'm so glad you are joining me on my journey back in time.
Comment from A Little Bird
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Congratulations on these beautifully written anecdotes. It sounds like you and your husband had a full and adventurous life together. I'm sorry to hear that he's passed.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
    Thank you so much for the lovely review and the six stars. I appreciate you reading it.