Mom's Last Christmas
Almost one holiday too late24 total reviews
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Friend,
Nice piece of General Non-Fiction having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and beautifully depicting its theme.
The last two lines working as a finishing touch are particularly noteworthy.
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
[ I think this last 'SIX' was luckily left for you. ]
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Hello Friend,
Nice piece of General Non-Fiction having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and beautifully depicting its theme.
The last two lines working as a finishing touch are particularly noteworthy.
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
[ I think this last 'SIX' was luckily left for you. ]
Comment Written 03-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much for honoring me with a six star rating. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
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Earl Corp, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from Mia Twysted
I feel a lot of love in this story. It almost feels like my memory. At first I felt that the word "Mom" was over used, but by the end it seemed to help cement the image. It kept it current and foremost in the mind leaving me longing but thankful for the blessing I have had.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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I feel a lot of love in this story. It almost feels like my memory. At first I felt that the word "Mom" was over used, but by the end it seemed to help cement the image. It kept it current and foremost in the mind leaving me longing but thankful for the blessing I have had.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Bill Schott
This holiday story, Mom's Last Christmas, is full of drama and character, which brings Mom to life and shows the reader a fighter. Such a good feeling to have a firm and positive Christmas memory like that.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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This holiday story, Mom's Last Christmas, is full of drama and character, which brings Mom to life and shows the reader a fighter. Such a good feeling to have a firm and positive Christmas memory like that.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much Bill. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from lyenochka
Wow, your mom was such a strong woman to have to deal with so many health issues all at once! And you were so strong to make those decisions for her at such a young age. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes in the contest!
before the semester, began (comma after 'began')
familiarizing hjerself with her prosthetic leg. (herself)
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Wow, your mom was such a strong woman to have to deal with so many health issues all at once! And you were so strong to make those decisions for her at such a young age. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes in the contest!
before the semester, began (comma after 'began')
familiarizing hjerself with her prosthetic leg. (herself)
Comment Written 02-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
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Congrats on your second place win!!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Anonymous,
Beautiful entry for the Holiday Blessings writing prompt contest. It's heartfelt. Wow, you all had a difficult decision and obviously you did your best. I think it was the right decision because she lived for a while and you all had a special xmas to remember. Good luck in the contest.
familiarizing ( hjerself ) "with her prosthetic leg.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Hello, Anonymous,
Beautiful entry for the Holiday Blessings writing prompt contest. It's heartfelt. Wow, you all had a difficult decision and obviously you did your best. I think it was the right decision because she lived for a while and you all had a special xmas to remember. Good luck in the contest.
familiarizing ( hjerself ) "with her prosthetic leg.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt story. It is hard to make life to death decisions for someone else when they are not able to make their own, but you made the right decision and had a final memory that will last a lifetime.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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A very well-written heartfelt story. It is hard to make life to death decisions for someone else when they are not able to make their own, but you made the right decision and had a final memory that will last a lifetime.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Carmen Ducharme
Reading your poem just gave me goosies everywhere hiw I feel your pain .Im so sorry your mom passed but i am also so happy that you were able to share that special christmas together family is important and they leave us in a blink of an eye .God Bless
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2020
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Reading your poem just gave me goosies everywhere hiw I feel your pain .Im so sorry your mom passed but i am also so happy that you were able to share that special christmas together family is important and they leave us in a blink of an eye .God Bless
Comment Written 01-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This is an amazing account of a very difficult family experience with end-of-life choices and what turned out to be a final farewell. You were really thrust into a role of extreme responsibility, as your mother experienced a cascade of medical developments that were not in her favor.
Here are some errors and suggested revisions:
Almost one holidat too late
-->
Almost one holiday too late
I've had several holiday blessings over the years, the one that sticks out the most...
-->
I've had several holiday blessings over the years, but the one that stands out the most...
is the Christmas 1994, my mom's last Christmas.
-->
is Christmas 1994, my Mom's last Christmas.
The Sunday before the semester began my sister called, Mom was in the hospital with congestive heart failure
-->
The Sunday before the semester began, my sister called: Mom was in the hospital with congestive heart failure.
She the croaked to the nurses she wanted to see me.
-->
She then croaked to the nurses that she wanted to see me.
I could've been a vegetable?
-->
I could've been a vegetable?"
Mom filled out a DNR and N L M form.
-->
Mom filled out DNR and NLM forms.
Mom went to physical therapy to start familiarizing with her prosthetic leg.
-->
Mom went to physical therapy to start familiarizing herself with her prosthetic leg.
Mom made her plans...[take out extra letter space before "Mom"]
She picked out everybody's for Christmas presents.
-->
She picked out everybody's Christmas presents.
She requested and received a pass for Christmas, all systems were go.
-->
She requested and received a pass for Christmas; all systems were go.
and count it as my most precious memories,
-->
and count it as my most precious memory,
OR
and count it among my most precious memories,
Thank you for sharing this very touching account of your last memories with your Mom, which included some very tough decisions. Back in the nineties, people weren't as well versed in the decision making processes of dying, and how to prepare for it, as we are today.
This had to be very hard for you to go through. Your mother's body was just failing her in a big way, well before she was able to reach old age.The holidays sound like the beautiful part, and I am happy for you, that you have those memories of your mother to treasure, always.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2020
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This is an amazing account of a very difficult family experience with end-of-life choices and what turned out to be a final farewell. You were really thrust into a role of extreme responsibility, as your mother experienced a cascade of medical developments that were not in her favor.
Here are some errors and suggested revisions:
Almost one holidat too late
-->
Almost one holiday too late
I've had several holiday blessings over the years, the one that sticks out the most...
-->
I've had several holiday blessings over the years, but the one that stands out the most...
is the Christmas 1994, my mom's last Christmas.
-->
is Christmas 1994, my Mom's last Christmas.
The Sunday before the semester began my sister called, Mom was in the hospital with congestive heart failure
-->
The Sunday before the semester began, my sister called: Mom was in the hospital with congestive heart failure.
She the croaked to the nurses she wanted to see me.
-->
She then croaked to the nurses that she wanted to see me.
I could've been a vegetable?
-->
I could've been a vegetable?"
Mom filled out a DNR and N L M form.
-->
Mom filled out DNR and NLM forms.
Mom went to physical therapy to start familiarizing with her prosthetic leg.
-->
Mom went to physical therapy to start familiarizing herself with her prosthetic leg.
Mom made her plans...[take out extra letter space before "Mom"]
She picked out everybody's for Christmas presents.
-->
She picked out everybody's Christmas presents.
She requested and received a pass for Christmas, all systems were go.
-->
She requested and received a pass for Christmas; all systems were go.
and count it as my most precious memories,
-->
and count it as my most precious memory,
OR
and count it among my most precious memories,
Thank you for sharing this very touching account of your last memories with your Mom, which included some very tough decisions. Back in the nineties, people weren't as well versed in the decision making processes of dying, and how to prepare for it, as we are today.
This had to be very hard for you to go through. Your mother's body was just failing her in a big way, well before she was able to reach old age.The holidays sound like the beautiful part, and I am happy for you, that you have those memories of your mother to treasure, always.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much for the editing tips, I fixed them. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
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You're very welcome, and I hope you do well in the contest. May God bless you. - Mary Kay
Comment from Iza Deleanu
A very touching story, and a very stubborn mom that thought for her kids nd future until the very last moment. I totally understand how a holiday can be the best because is the last with your mom. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2020
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A very touching story, and a very stubborn mom that thought for her kids nd future until the very last moment. I totally understand how a holiday can be the best because is the last with your mom. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
This is a sad and terrible tale of one woman's bout with cancer -- I sure like the way she took the bull by the horns. Your mom sounds like a really cool and amazing lady. *smile*
Notes:
1.) Almost one holida(y) too late
--> in your description
2.) In 1994(,) the roof fell in.
3.) Mom was in the hospital with congestive heart failure(.)
4.) She the(n) croaked to the nurses she wanted to see me.
5.) "You had no right to keep me alive, I could've been a vegetable(.")
--> you have a question mark, but I'm not sure she's asking a question...
6.) Mom went to physical therapy to start familiarizing (herself) with her prosthetic leg.
7.) She picked out everybody's for Christmas presents.
--> a little garbled - edit?
It was fun that she had just barely survived this moment in the hospital - fussed at you for your decisions, filled out all the required paperwork to see that her wishes would definitely be carried out - and THEN you say:
Once this was done, Mom began planning her life.
hahahahaha That is crazy fun~
Thanks a bunch and good luck in the voting!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2020
 |
Dear Mystery Writer,
This is a sad and terrible tale of one woman's bout with cancer -- I sure like the way she took the bull by the horns. Your mom sounds like a really cool and amazing lady. *smile*
Notes:
1.) Almost one holida(y) too late
--> in your description
2.) In 1994(,) the roof fell in.
3.) Mom was in the hospital with congestive heart failure(.)
4.) She the(n) croaked to the nurses she wanted to see me.
5.) "You had no right to keep me alive, I could've been a vegetable(.")
--> you have a question mark, but I'm not sure she's asking a question...
6.) Mom went to physical therapy to start familiarizing (herself) with her prosthetic leg.
7.) She picked out everybody's for Christmas presents.
--> a little garbled - edit?
It was fun that she had just barely survived this moment in the hospital - fussed at you for your decisions, filled out all the required paperwork to see that her wishes would definitely be carried out - and THEN you say:
Once this was done, Mom began planning her life.
hahahahaha That is crazy fun~
Thanks a bunch and good luck in the voting!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much for the editing tips, I fixed them. I appreciate you reading and reviewing my work.
